I need some advise on how to reply to a text sent by my ex, and if you think she is showing interest by sending it.... Not sure if this is in the right forum?.......

Some background-

Together for 1.5 years. Certain she has bpd. Relationship was very toxic towards the end; she had no respect for me and I had no self respect putting up with the things she did(text book bpd stuff). I ended it, and basicaly told her to fuck off over the phone. Did not contact her after the break up. I have just been working on myself and I'm now feeling healthy and happy again. She contacted me once a month later(text) to return some of my belongings. I told her to leave my stuff out somewhere for me to collect, which she seemed to get shitty over because I didnt show any desire to use the opportunity to see or speak to her.

Now a few months later she has sent me the following text out of the blue:

Hi John, sorry to text you, but i would just like to know if you're seeing Jessie from my work. It's easier if i know than not. I think its fair that i know. I dont mind if u r but as i said, if i was seeing someone u worked with you would want to know aswell. -Stacey


My goal is to be fucking my ex again. I am absolutely certain i will not get caught in her bdp shit again and will be willing to walk in a heart beat. I just want the sex as it was unbeleivably good.

Btw, i have nothing to do with her work collegue Jessie, and both of them (my ex and Jessie) were both out walking together in my local area a few weeks ago, and they both saw me exercising with another girl.


Im thinking of sending - "I have no desire to be invlolved with anyone from your work". Or "No one from your work",or would a simple "No" be more effective at getting her thinking? Any other suggestions?

Also, it's been a day since she sent the text and I havnt replied yet, if that makes a.difference.

It ended up badly, why would you want to go back for the sex? I'd rather get to know other girls. Variation is the key. You think this girl gives the best sex, but when you try out other girls, you'll know how mistaken you were.

Personally, I don't suggest re-initiating with these intentions. Just say "no" and move on.

It ended badly for me because I invested myself emotionally and blindly when I shouldn't have. I was completely unaware how much someone can fuck you over if you become attached to the wrong person. It's been a huge learning experience. I know I won't get attached to this person again and Im now aware of my boundries so why not have some great sex? (Im positive she would be open to it at some stage if i re-initiate and go about it the right way). Also Ive tried many other girls, just not in a LTR, and none of them come close.

Any suggestion for a response if I wanted to fuck her again at some stage? From the text she sent do you think she is just using it as an exuse to re-initiate.... It seems like it considering her and the collegue in question both saw me with another girl....

My ex has Bipolar Personality Disorder. Being with her was one of the most traumatic things I'd ever experienced.

Thinking of having her as a Fuck Buddy, in spite of her being 'hot' is probably the worst idea ever. Going back with your ex, especially when she's so damaged, is a terrible terrible idea.

Find a new fuck buddy, at least somebody less damaged. You're barking up the wrong tree and are still attached to her, obviously.

You're very naive to think you won't get sucked in again.

You're not a changed man. People don't change. You may have learned some new ways to deal with it, but this girl is going to put you through the ringer again and you're going to end up with a couple decent fuck sessions to show for it.

Not easier to just find someone who isn't crazy?

That'd be my advice.

Or -- actually go fuck Jessie, tell your crazy ex that yes, you're fucking Jessie and she's awesome. See how her BPD works through that one.