Hi all,

I've been with my LTR for around 5 and a half years. 3 of which she has been studying for a degree. We are currently going through a rough patch, where she admits she is far more grumpy/ bitchy than ever before, and that she knows she isn't being the best girlfriend for me at the moment. We love eachother and have a fantastic relationship when we are not arguing. I wear the trousers in the relationship, and she is pretty insecure about me cheating on her for which I give her no end of reassurance. (despite the fact I never have, and never would). We've toned down our relationship until she is sure she can be a nicer, happier girlfriend like she used to be, so we've been seeing eachother a little less recently, (once or twice a week), but still talk every day, and neither of us are interested in anybody else.

I'm normally pretty laid back about stuff like this because I don't want to be a control on her life, or be an AFC. Things like her facebook friends, etc. are all irellevant, and tbh it's probably been over a year since I looked on her fbook profile. This sort of stuff never really crosses my mind to be concerned with.

We fell out yesterday over something small, and today was the day we have both long awaited where she found out her university result. I got a text from her while I was at work this afternoon telling me she doesn't know how interested I would be, after last nights fall out, but she got her result today. I replied quite quickly explaining that whatever grade she got, I'm really proud of her, and to congratulate her on behalf of all my workmates who I proudly told. I still however didn't know her grade. No response from her, so this evening while driving home from I had a look on facebook as it is the norm for people to post their grades, and sure enough earlier on today she had updated her profile with a status about her grade, and thanking people who supported her. She didn't even tag me in the status, and she still hadn't specifically told me what grade she had. I had to find out from facebook, after every random person who may know her had already had the opportunity to congratulate her. I was gutted. I wanted to be the first one to know, and she pretty much knew that. I wanted to celebrate her, tell her that every second of support I gave was worth it, and I wanted to make her feel special. I thought she owed that to me, and felt that it was the finish of our long journey.

It felt like a real kick in the balls, since her degree has been the focus in both of our lives for the past 3 years. I have stayed up and sat helping her to learn important material before tests. Been patient when she couldn't come round to see me as often as usual because of revision commitments. Supported her with nice gifts and spoiling her at certain times of the year, due to her meager student finances.

After seeing her facebook update from earlier today, I prompty called her, and explained how upset and angry I was by what she had done, and the effect it had had on me. I explained I'm not putting up with this from her, and that it carried an irony that in a situation where I am patiently waiting on her to prove she has lost her inner bitch, she goes and does one of the most mindless and hurtful things she could do.

She was really upset, crying hysterically, saying she was sorry, saying she didn't think I would care, saying she thought I had cheated on her last night when I was at the cinema with one of my buddys!! etc.

She has sent me a shit ton of missed calls I have ignored and voicemails which I havn't listened to, in the last hour or so. I've called my best bud, and he agrees that what she has done, is very out of order, and he would be just as pissed off and upset.

What do you all reckon?

5 yrs - that's a long ass time.

Do you plan to stay together after school? Do you love her? If so then see this for what it is: It's social media. Who cares? Like really... It's fucking Facebook.

Don't let a social network ruin a relationship.

She did text you (but didn't tell you the grade)... Believe me, I get what you're saying - it's a little maddening... but if you want to work on things, just drop it.

Now, if you're leaning in the other direction, maybe suggest a break. I don't know what else to tell you. She thinks you're cheating every night - that's no way to live, if you've never actually given her any indication you intend to cheat, and you never actually have cheated. Being second guessed every day isn't my cup of tea, but maybe you've become used to it.

Your buddy was just being polite because it's easier to agree with someone who is mad about something than cause drama with disagreeing.

Don't be a bitch. Drop it. This is the sort of thing my drama queen ex girlfriends would get angry about. All you are doing is displaying your insecurity.

"Ok. I accept your apology." and move on.

I took a shit this morning and I wanted you to be the first one to know

shit happens

I disagree with the other posters opinion...maybe they can clairify.

I agree with you being upset. You invested alot into helping her with her degree and she didn't let you know how she did before fb. And you let her know early in the afternoon that you'd be interested in knowing. And she DIDN'T tell you. So the excuse about her thinking you were out cheating at night is bs.
YOU SAID YOU CARED. BS HERE
YOU TEXTED HER IN THE AFTERNOON. BS HERE TOO

My thoughts...The relationship is ending. 5 years at university age is less stable for long term than 5 years at 25-30. Also, a crappy 3 years is tough to fix or get over. Your girl needed someone to support her, you did. Now she is going to want a fresh start. She doesn't trust you. She's not happy with you. You guys don't have sex. Now that she has her degree, she is probably making major life decisions now and this relationship is not what she wants. It's going to take a lot of work or things to go back to amazing, and maybe she doesn't want to put in the effort. Truth is, if she appreciated your help she would have let you know. ESPECIALLY after asking you. And if she thinks you would cheat after 5 years of being together then she's always going to feel like that.

I disagree with the others because this is what stands out to me:
she is bitchy to you
she doesnt have sex with you
she hasn't taken steps to make you happy
You've invested more
she didn't tell you her results after you helped her for years

So it just sounds bad to me. At the end of the day, you've invested more into the relationship so it's easy for her to pull back. The relationship has been weakened and sadly your gf doesn't seem like she gives a fuck. You can only do so much yourself. I'd have hope if she had dropped the bs about still being mad and stopped at your place with a gift or food or something to appreciate you for the support you gave. Instead she is using excuses and not working to make you happy. And if she cared about the relationship she would be working towards that, not making excuses.

Usually it's a red flag when a girl is suspicious you are cheating without evidence. It can mean she is cheating on you and accuses you to feel less guilty about her own actions and to deflect attention on you.
Does sound like this is her allowing herself extra time to see another guy. Show up unexpectedly, you might find out more than you bargained for.

As for her crying hysterically, this could be more because of cheaters guilt than anything.

It's not 100% cert that she is cheating, but the signs are there. Search Google for "top signs she is cheating" and see if there are any other signs you may have missed.