Im seriouse. I ought to have the worst approach anxiety ever!

I see my self as very good looking, but as soon as i sit on a café, or at a club and see a girl and think "im going to approach her" I freak out. Im thinking "all I have to do so to walk to her and ask her if she believes in magic and then do some cool routine" but as soon as that thinking thingy pops up in my head I get so nervouse, my hands start shaking and all worst scenarios come to life in my head. Im the guy who strols through town and just looks good, thats it. Im sure you guys got this question like a million times, but how do I conquer my approach anxiety? I've watched the tv-series "The pick up artist" with Mystery and it all looks so easy, but when it comes to real life I can't handle it.

Please help me!! Thanks.

- Salvatore

You over analyze the situation way too much! it's just a girl... you have to force yourself and keep practicing until it becomes 2nd nature.

seriously, whats the worst thing that can happen?

I had AA too. but when you start approaching people you will realize that they are actually glad to meet interesting and fun people like you!
It still gives me a surge of adrenalin when i approach HB's, but it doesn't stop me.

Search the forum, there are many good threads on AA.

-Try

Also, what might help is to approach guys and girls out in your regular day. At the grocery store, talk to whoever is near you. You will take notice that people enjoy talking to people.

At first not with the intention of closing, but to get rid of the fear and see how easy it is to talk to people.

One day I was down in a funk and I read some of Ross Jeffries emails and (I think)some stuff from the PUA forum. I went out and maybe approached eight girls. By the end of the day, it was completely natural, nearly second nature. The key point was that I had no intent of closing whatsoever. I just wanted the feel of talking, of approaching of building rapport. Seriously, set goals low and feel good when you meet and surpass them.

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Call me Sly.
My goal: To become a Pickup Artist in everything but name.

And yeah, This is (still) just the beginning.

Hey
My hands shake for a living , its always shaking.
I have AA to.

I bet you don't go sarging alone , me neither.
What i do , i let mine friends pick the first like 2 or 3 set
They just say , ok the set behind you go. The set at your left GO . The set over there GO.

Just start walking , when you get their what to say does not matter , after 2 3 set , if you were rejected or not you will feel good and can go through the night with out fear , its awesome

This video defently helped me with my fear of apraoch..Its Mystery talking about aproachment fear..
http://youtube.com/watch?v=nSXYdmOnYHk&feature=related





Megastream

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Life is just a series of obstacles..waiting to be conquered

Look through the forum

overcoming-approach-anxiety-vt1672.html

heres-how-you-get-over-aa-vt16600.html

mysterys-great-video-about-aa-vt16571.html

getting-over-aa-approach-anxiety-a-comf ... 10382.html (<--- good one)

ten-things-you-can-do-to-handle-approac ... 11479.html

aa-tips-from-public-speaking-vt14249.html

And HUNDREDS more just search a bit

worst case scenario? get rejected? get ignored? whoop-tee-whoop! .. ur still alive .. still breathing .. you've lost nothing!

if you continue what you've always been doing.. then you'll always get the same result!

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The world exists for you!

I notice a lot of guys that have approach anxiety don't just have approach anxiety for HBs and women, but for people in general. They tend to be shy and are reserved and afraid to approach anyone unless they are spoken to. I specifically notice that women including the HB's only speak until they are spoken to.

So what does that say....? SOMEONE NEEDS TO INITIATE THE CONVERSATION. Look up the 3 second rule, that should be a perfect amount of time to NOT over analyze the situation with an HB.

Just as common courtesy speak to everyone. I was very shy and reserved all through high school, but when I was forced to interact with people on a daily basis face to face I am not afraid to talk to anyone. (I worked in a commissioned sales environment in a mall) Granted the occasional HB gives you that adrenaline rush, but thats when you go into the 3 second rule and ignore what your emotions are thinking. They are there to FUCK YOU UP!

I think Mystery said something along the lines of this

When you see an HB your feeling is to go and talk to that girl because she is attractive, she is what attracts you! But your emotions say don't because of whatever reason...Go with your feeling, its your gut feeling and you cant deny it.

Just remember the 3 second rule and approach before your emotions have a chance to get the best of you and break you up. Your better than that, you have total control!

im pretty sure the AA only includes approaching certain women. Yesterday I was out on a bar with a couple of buddies of mine, and I started showing them some magic. Then I saw that the whole bar was looking at me and were pretty impressed, so I walked into a 2-set male and started talking to them. It turned out that one of the guys was reading the game and he also had some AA problems but not as much as me, though he hadnt any material to use when approaching.

He said "if I only knew a couple of your magic routines I would go crazy" and I was like "if I only I had some of your guts then I would go crazy" so we took each others number and decided to meet up and I would learn him some magic and he would push me into approaching. Thought it was a fair deal. So that night I opened and number-closed, BUT it was a male hehe. But still a beginning of something

Pick up a copy of "Rules of the Game" and the first book is "The Stylelife Challenge" lots of little activities in there are for just that.

My honest advice is to just talk to people. Random people, not girls just everybody. Even if its a short conversation or just a "Hello" it's simple and it will get you used to talking to complete strangers. Set a goal for yourself, make yourself approach x amount of strangers each day until you feel comfortable with it.

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Seduction isn't making someone do what they don't want to do.Seduction is enticing someone into doing what they secretly want to do already.

But thats not my problem. I dont think so at least. I just met up this guy I was talking about, the one I met on a bar a couple of days ago. Gave him some magic routine advices and stuff and we started talking and so. Then he went "alright, you've helped me a little, now its time for me to help you" and then he called over some girls by saying "hey, my friend here says that everyone believes in magic, do you?" and then I did a magic routine for the girl. She was completely stunned and was like "how did you do that?" and I said something like "if I tell you, ill have to kill you". But my pulse was sky high, I was so nervouse. But still, when I talked to males, when I met up this guy I just met once before and when I talk to guys in general, then i dont have any problems at all.

But as soon a girl pops up in the picture, im compleeeeetly messed up. Am I gay? No just kidding, Ill just keep practicing on communicating with girls, and dont have any goals at all. That seemed as a fair deal. Thanks for the advice everyone!