So I went out tonight with a girl I met at night (not in a club, just as she walked by). My intentions are always just to f-close girls btw, I am not looking for a relationship. I sense there is something in my demeanour or conversation that always gets me caught up with women who don't just want to be f***ked however. Add to this the fact I am black, and I suspect there's a little bit of "Black men are players" in the back of some of their minds, but I don't wanna get caught up in that. I dunno though, I'm pretty new to the whole scientific approach to women.

Back to the date:

I was supposed to meet her at 8, but I thought it was 9. Ended up getting there at 930. She was fine about it in the end as she lived nearby.

Anyway, we hit a bar and had a couple of drinks. There was no kino at all apart from when we met. The convo went pretty well I thought, we discussed lots of different things from travel to work etc etc.

She had stayed later than I thought she would, considering she had to be up early for a train, so I naturally assumed she was into it, so I went with the flow. When we eventually decided to leave, we walked back towards the train station and we stopped. I softly tried to pull her towards me and kiss her and she pulled away saying "she wasn't feeling it". Then she went into some mini-diatribe about trying not to feel "obliged" to do stuff etc etc. We eventually parted ways and I wished her a happy trip, and she did the same. I then said, "I hope we speak again before my trip though." To which she replied "Well you have my number".

And that was that.

I spoke to a female friend a few minutes ago and she was like "You're too flashy. Women don't like smart men. You've gotta dumb it down." I think there is something in what she's saying. I might be coming across too arrogant or something.

Thoughts?

As a good friend told me (the same individual who introduced me to the game) 'you don't have to be in a relationship with a woman your fucking to be able to talk to the woman you're fucking.' My thoughts are people would rather have the illusion for public appearances sake, than to otherwise do what they'd like to do. If you enjoy the person then day 2 her, take her home, and keep the interaction going after that. Worse case, she doesn't want to see you again (as if you care) or best case you get regular action while still out looking for new action.

In regards to your friend: Woman love an intelligent man. They want to be able to have good conversation, and see someone who has more depth than a pot hole puddle. Where it becomes an issue is either A) you're arrogant about it, which no one likes. In that regard, try and differentiate between confidence/humbleness and overtly pretentious. If you're smart it will be apparent and you will not need to brag. Or B) you're smarter than them, which individuals who are insecure with themselves will find off putting. In that case it's on them, find a different caliber of girl and keep on keepin' on brother!

The girl liked you and was interested if you met her randomly at night and went on a date with her days after , when you just wanna fuck, you have to create sexul tension , and at least try to get the girl to a place where sex can actually happen , which is going to take more of you controlling the the date and steering it into the direction you want it to go. a woman has many sides to her and you'd be surprised to see those girls you never thought were freaks In. Bed are the biggest freaks ,it's up to you to bring out the side you want

Ok so I messaged this same girl again today saying:

"Good morning! I hope you enjoyed your trip. I would like to meet you again this week, and this time I promise to turn up on time!"

She later replied:

"Hi James. I appreciate the invitation but this isn't something I want to pursue. Enjoy your break and good luck with the new career move."

I plan on asking her for honest feedback by saying something like:

"Hi Anna, thanks for your candour, I appreciate it. I'd just like to ask whether there's a particular reason you don't wish to pursue this, as I don't want to make similar mistakes with another woman I date in the future."

My questions to the forum are:

1) Why do you think she backed out?
2) Is the act of seeking feedback from a woman you've dated a positive, negative or neutral move?

This sucks to say but girls will not provide honest feedback.

Try not to sound affected by this. Just sound up beat and like it does not affect you when you converse with her.

At least she is being honest and not just not responding.

Get out and meet someone new ones.

I agree with the above entirely.

You can't just go for the kiss. You NEED to kino. Best rule for smooth escalation, start small get bigger, start safe take risks.

Explaining good escalation is so hard over text so if you are unsure get on YouTube and watch videos on it, there are tonnes that are really good.

To me it sounds like you're in the provider zone. You tried to kiss her so she knows your attracted but you didn't do it smooth enough and you probably didn't create enough tension in the interaction. To create tension you need contact (eye/body/limb).

It takes practice. Also, learn to dance, all men looking to become attractive should learn how to dance and, especially, lead a girl in a dance.

She's not that into you dude and politely told you to have a nice life. The last thing she needs is you being all whiney and asking her questions like where did I go wrong. It will make you look pathetic. Sometimes there's just no chemistry there. Move on and leave her alone as she'll just get pissed off with you. You don't know her well enough to ask anything as heavy as this. I mean seriously bro. Who the fuck wants to reply to the question 'Why didn't you like me enough?' because that's what you are REALLY asking.

If you want to get honest feedback from her, consider texting this:

Not so fast there lady, I'm not proposing marriage(you'd be so lucky)..

You were quite entertaining and I enjoyed a few laughs, some at your expense..

As you know I have goals and ambitions and that can overwhelm some women..

I sensed an inner strength about you but if my dreams are too big for you to handle, I can understand..

I like this a lot, but after one date might be a little too bold. Then again that might be what she wants. I would only do this if she's far outside your social circle. Word of mouth can bite you in the ass if you're not careful.

Get the fucking feedback brother.

If a girl goes cold on me on phone game I have never asked her for feedback. Mainly as there is a trickle of clunge that always keeps me entertained allowing me to forget about her.

I have asked for feedback in person a couple of times, when I've spent time in the set but it just didn't click i.e. no number or kiss close. Both times I had been in set upwards of an hour or so.

And honestly it has been game changing. It shows you where you are going wrong.

If you don't want to see her again and want to improve your game what have you got to lose?!

To many part time pua's will think you are losing value or some shit. You're fucking not. You want the feedback. If she responds she responds, if she doesn't fuck her. You will never see this bitch again!

Obviously if you have overlapping social circles or some shit - do not send her a text on feedback. It's too needy. But for a girl you'll never see again. You have jack shit too lose player.

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You have gotta want it, as bad as you wanna breath...

Then you'll be successful!

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Try not to sound affected by this. Just sound up beat and like it does not affect you when you converse with her

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It could be a shit test,. You should be flexible

It could be a shit test,. You should be flexible