Hey all!
I've got a problem, which I hope that you can help me reflect on, because I am extremely confused, and the same are my closest friends about the situation.
Sorry for a wall of text, but I feel that a background story is important, but feel free to skip parts.
Yesterday, my girlfriend decided to break up with me, after 5 months. Originally we intended the relationship would last and we'd grow old together. She was exactly the girl that I was after.
Background
Since the mid of June I could sense that something was not right. It was as if the spark in her was getting extinguished, but I assumed it was due to her work and finals, and thus stress was affecting her. In March we bought a 14-day vacation trip to Crete (Greece), and I was sure it would all go away as soon as we had time to relax and be intimate a long way from home.
But during out time there, it became increasingly more obvious to me, that something was very much wrong. We could have small arguments over the smallest things which would annoy her. We usually never argue. I was sure it would end very shortly after we got home. Time would tell me, that I was right.
The day after we came home from the vacation - yesterday - she texted me saying she wanted to talk to me. I knew what it was about, so I just played it cool, and welcomed her over.
We went for a walk, and initially it was a very fun and casual talk, which was exactly as in the old days. We laughed, we joked and talked freely. We found a bench, and I knew it was the time had come.
She began to cry and it became hard for her to talk. I tried to comfort her, while maintaining my cool during the entire talk. I kept calm, mature and understanding. I kissed her on the shoulder and told her not to cry and just say whatever was on her heart.
After two hours talk, about chances of getting back together or ending it, it was the latter which won. Her reason was that she had lost the spark and that her feelings were not as strong as in the past.
She tells me, that she fell in love with me, 5 months ago, because I was very social, likable, new and exciting. But as time went by, this changed as I became more complacent and settled down, as I felt very comfortable with her and was busy with my undergraduate project.
She said that she had never really experienced single life and just being herself without constraints.
We began dating immediately after she broke up with her former boyfriend of 5 years.
I told her that I understood what she was saying, and that I probably carried some of the fault myself for not being more romantic and wooing her consistently. Almost every time we were together we would just be at my place, watch movies, and have sex. I became "the boring boyfriend". It saddens me.
The problem is though:
She says that we might be able to get back together, but at the moment, she doesnt see an oppertunity. But right after we agree, that we should breake up, she goes a little silent, and we kiss. A soft, but passionate kiss. We start walking back towards her car, and she grabs my hand. With tears in her eyes, she looks like a heavy burden has been lifted from her shoulders. By her car, we begin to kiss again ... and say goodbye.
Here I was thinking:
- that it was over. But about 20 minutes after we had just kissed goodbye she wrote to me saying "You are so cool
"
Confused, I just responded shortly and joked; "You are also cool! - If only you did not sweat as much as you did
"
She found it very funny, and we continued to text. I tried responding short and slow, and it showed that she would send me another text if I was too slow. We end the conversation with a 'Goodnight, you silly one!'
I thought that was it. But no way. Next morning, she texted me again - thats today. She said "My throat is sore
" I just replied in the same fashion as usual "You poor thing! Come by if you want, and I will give you something warm to drink". I had completely forgot that she already had a skate-date with one of her girlfriends, so she naturally denied.
So...
I
really want her back. I had a fantastic time with her, and was so confused by the fact that we kissed after the breake up, and holding hands. And now the fact that she is writing me.
She still has some stuff at my place. I told her to come and get it, and here im planning on seeing her reaction. Maybe faking that im going for a kiss, while just aiming for her cheek. If she turns her lips toward me or not.
I'm confused and heartbroken, guys and ladies. What do you think I should do?
CHAT
