So, here is the situation. I'm in relationship with my gf for a little over the year. She started to work as babysitter where her friend used to work. Veird couple, supposedly very "liberal". They are in their low 30s and are thinking of going to vacation.

Problem? They want my gf to go with them. Well, this by itself is no problem and I didnt say nothing about it. It supposed to be a week and she was always truthfull so I really dont have an problem with trust or jealousy (and if i had i would break up imidietly).

But? Here is the kicker. Kids mom says she will be with them for 3 days and then my gf and her husband should be alon for rest of vacation at their beach house. She accepted without asking me and so I have dilema. As I layed the groundwork and rules at beggining of relationship and she knew this situation is out of question (as i said to her, there is no male female frienship and spending time alone with another guy is breach of rules and means disrespect) but still accepted.

She said he is clumsy and shit and cant take care of baby but I know you dont listen to women but watch their actions instead.

So my question, do I tell her straight up she breached our arrangement from start of relationship and break up with her on sight or do I accept she aint going (since thats whats gonna happen when I meet her today).

Thanks for suggestions

Neither. You let her make the decision because you don't own her, and you enjoy your time away from her while she is gone. Don't create a problem. Relationships have enough of them already. If the kid's mom is cool with leaving her husband with a babysitter and their kid, you shouldn't be worried about it. You're gonna have serious issues if you ever date a woman that has to travel for work.

I'm not making her decision, she agreed on my terms and she knows being week in appartment by sea with guy she hardly knows is a no-no.

Thank you for your advice but I think I will break up as I think she doesnt respect our agreement. Wont make any fuss about it.

If she is a babysitter I don't understand the problem. As the other poster said, if the mom is fine with it it's nothing. This is her job. I'm sure alot of the times she's alone with the husband and the kids at home. Sure, she could go porno style and fuck the husband if she's on vacation with him, but then again she could do that on a Monday night while the mom is at bingo.

Is she on vacation ALONE with them? Meaning no kids. In that case, I could see the line being crossed, but if the kids will be there it's her job.

She is not babysitter per se, she started working for them last week. There is only one kid and he is 2-3 yr old. Mother is fine with it , but according to her friend that babysitted their kid they are very liberal. As in changing underwear almost infront of her and father being very flirty without wife saying a word.

I just think this is the case of her not respecting our agreement. Im not really holding her, I would never say dont go, but I cant accept spending a week alon with a guy she hardly knows, thats pushing boundries.

LOL - why did you even ask for advice.

The above poster is bang on. You even said you trusted her. What the fuck are you worried about?

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So...she IS a babysitter. Anyway, the kid will be there? So is she going to take care of the kid? Will she be taking care of the kid while there?

If the kid is there...I don't see a difference between being alone with the guy at a beach house or at their home on a regular night. If she is babysitting. This sounds different from hanging out with a dude alone.

Its not worry, its her not respecting our agreement, thats all. She was very hesitant when saying she should be alone woth father for 5 last days and she knew I wouldnt like that but neither would she if she was in my shoes.

But anyway, I have gotten replies much different from what I expected and its nice to see other side of argument. BTW gf is solid 9, works out like crazy pretty much every day, every guys dream but I will have to drop it as I see this as disprespect from her side.

Thank you

How old are you two?

First, i've read the thread 3 times thinking maybe I missed something. So she is babysitting a kid at a beach house, and the husband, her and the kid will be alone for a week? Doesn't seem like disrespect.

Second, it's a year long relationship. Tbh you don't sound like you really care about this girl and have said nothing about her really as if you do. So if you want to end things, end them. But imo, her job would have her violating your rule many times anyway. The wife wouldnt always be there when she is watching the kid, and if she wants to fuck the husband, they can fuck anyday, anywhere. That's like my gf and I having a rule like no alone time with females, I get a job as a sales rep and have to take female clients out for lunch sometimes. And then she breaks up with me.

I'd guess there are some trust issues here or in your past.

I understand your perspective, but I'm not sure your wife would be fine with you taking a week in Greek island with your young, hot business partner. Going to dinner and taking week long vacation is quite different thing I imagine. Im also quite sure you would take a chance in this kind of situation if you ever get yourself in one.

Besides from her friends she clearly knows he has a thing for younger girls (altough he is in his 30s) and putting herself in such situation when she knows it is IMO dissrespectful. I guess I assumed she would politely decline.

I'm 24 and she is 21.

yea obviously op has insecurities. he way over reacted on this one and probably shows alot of jealousy with his girl. it makes no sense that your gonna break it cause of this when shes doing her job. if she was gonna cheat on the boattrip, then shes definately already cheated on op.

if I were a girl this would be a red flag that op had anger management issues. controlling behaviour

BIG insecurities.

You may as well drop her... cause you're gonna lose her in a much shittier way eventually!

Disrespect.... hilarious.

First I thought she did it as shit test since I have never showed jealousy or insecurity so maybe she wanted a reaction(she admited as much 2months ago), but im glad you know what Im like from simple forum post.

On its face, your g/f going for a work trip for one week with another male is generally not an issue. But as you stated in the original post, the couple seems weird. You also mentioned that the wife doesn't have any problem with him being very flirty to your g/f and even changing underwear in front of her.

I totally understand your feelings and frankly in my view it doesn't have as much to do with insecurity as it does with the the unique circumstance you have been presented with.

Go with your gut bro.

I think the flirty/liberal angle depends on your gf. Whether someone is changing in front of her or flirting with her she is the one who has to accept it. If the agreement is no alone time with guys, fine... But then don't date a babysitter because she will be alone with him constantly.