Hi everyone,

This evening I got friendzoned by a girl, from who I thought she was really into me.

We went on three "dates", I will describe them briefly.

First date
We met somewhere in a bar in the city we both live in. We sat there for about 45-60 minutes. I paid for her drink (bad move?) and we just talked about random stuff like work, friends, how she spends her free time etc. I was applying kino where possible (without creating a situation that is weird as fuck, and made some (not too harsh) negs on stuff she was telling me. After a while I felt like taking a walk and she agreed on it. During our walk through the city we kept talking about random things. I continued to apply kino and negs where possible. At the end of the night I drove her home and kissed her goodbye on her cheek.
Total date time: about 3.5 hours.

Date two
This time we agreed to watch a movie. I let her make the decision what movie we were going to watch. Before we entered the cinema we ran into a supermarket and brought some food and drinks (since they charge you about three times the price as soon as you entered the cinema), for which I paid. She insisted to pay to her own ticket for the movies, and I decided to not make a big deal out of it.
Before the movie started we talked about random stuff and made some selfies and she send those to some female friends of her. All her friends were like: "OMG, who is he?" and "you are so cute together blablabla". As soon as the movie started we just enjoyed. I tried to apply some kino, but was not able to without creating a REALLY awkward situation. During the break we short tlked about the movie and some other random stuff. As soon as the movie finished I drove her home. We both were very tired and didn't feel like grabbing a drink. I kissed her goodbye on her cheek and left.
Total date time: about 2.5 hours (Including 2 hour movie time).

Date three
Today was the third date. We decided to go to the beach and walk around a little, grab a drink and go back. We went by bike, son it took us about 1 hour to get there (single). During the bike we talked about things we saw on route and other random stuff. As soon as we got there we parked our bikes and headed for the beach. We were walking in the water and made fun of other people we saw and other random stuff. Halfway we got some ice cream sat down on the beach and watched the sunset, which was totally ruined by the clouds just above the horizon. As we finished our ice cream and got up to walk back, I offered her chewing gum. She wanted one, so I decided to try something I saw in my dreams. DO NOT TRY THIS, IT DOES NOT WORK..
I asked her I she trusted me, she said yes; so I placed her chewing gum between my teeth. I told her to come and get it, but she looked at me like "what the fuck are you doing". So I quickly swallowed the chewing gum and offered her a proper one. We started walking again. Luckily it wasn't awkward or anything. We didn't mention it any further that evening.
We walked back to our bikes and started to cycle back to our city. Halfway we stopped for half an hour to get a milkshake, and continued cycling afterwards.
Once we got to her home, I kissed her goodbye. I was aiming for her lips, but saw there was no reaction coming from her so I changed to her cheek in the middle of the motion.
I was applying kino and negging her the entire evening and did it on a stronger level than the first two dates.
Total date time: about 4 hours.

All these dates were planned in range of about 25-30 days.

So I got home about an hour ago and received a text saying:
"Hi Henk, I had a really good time tonight! I would love to keep you as my best friend, and think I should be honest to you. I'm really sorry if I'm hurting you!! Xx *name*"

My responds:
"Hi! It was really good!! No you're not hurting me, don't worry about it!! I wish you a lot of fun on your holidays and will talk to you soon!! X"

For the rest we were not texting a lot, except when we wanted to meet. We both prefer face to face contact over texting.

So the truth it that she didn't hurt me or anything like that, but it is already like the third time this happens to me. (Yes, I actually got three girl friends I'm really close with)

Does anybody see anything I could have done better? Some feedback is welcome as well!

Looking forward to hearing from you!

Henk

Judging from what you wrote here, it seems like you're not sexualizing your interactions enough. You say you "try to apply kino" during your dates, but I'm skeptical about just how much you are touching this woman, and how platonic and minimal the touching is. Furthermore, you're kissing the girl on the cheek and not the lips. Come on man, you're not in middle school. Kiss her like a man. Or at least make an attempt to.
Everything about your behavior seems to scream "I'm a provider!" and not all saying that you're a lover. You need to communicate in one way or another that you want to have sex with her. Hell, even flat out saying it would have been better than the route you were taking. You need to get physically close to her. Compliment her body, tell her she has a great ass. Make out with her. Basically, you need to take the wheel and lead the interaction down that road. And you can't just continuously drive her home kiss her on the cheek and expect anything to happen. You need to get her home and into your bed. I know it sounds like I'm oversimplifying here,
but in a lot of ways it actually is simpler than we build it up to be in our heads.
So remember: try to have a plan to pull her somewhere to have sex, like your place. But obviously this will be done at the end of the date, maybe middle depending on how well things go. Take more chances, be more risqué with your conversational topics. Be the lover, not the provider. Touch her back, her legs, gauge to see her reaction and so on. I could probably give you advice on this topic for an hour.
Also it's my opinion that if you haven't had sex with her at least by or on the third date, you're probably not going to after that. Or at least it's becoming such a waste of time that it's not worth it (in my opinion). I'm sure super religious people would disagree with me, but whatever. The best way to avoid the friendzone is to fuck the girl, the earlier the better.

I didn't read the whole thing (sorry) but a couple of points that I want to make...

1. You kissed her on the cheek? I like to call that the kiss of death. Should've gone for the kiss on the lips.

2. The guy on the other reply is right, you're not sexualising it enough. You need to flirt a lot more

3. Movie date, already? No! You can't judge body language on movie dates, and you can't really talk to her much at all

4. Girls sleep with guys after 2-3 dates on average, so you need to make these dates special and unique. Take her to 2-3 places in one night - it shows effort, and makes her feel like you're closer to eachother than you are. It massively increases your chances of getting sex on the first date. Trust me on that one.

Check these articles for help with friendzone, and good dates.


Good dates: http://ipickupwomen.com/good-first-date-ideas/

Escape Friendzone: http://ipickupwomen.com/easily-escape-the-friend-zone/



Edit: I've now read it all. You've probably acted too much like a friend, and confused her a little with the gum thing. You should be flirting, calling her once a week for an EVENING date that can lead to sex, planning it 3-4 days into the future, and getting off the phone after setting a definite date. When she friendzoned you, you should have said "Just friends? I'm not interested in that. I think you're an amazing girl. I don't think I can be around you and not be able to touch you, or talk to you about other people that we're dating. Give me a call if you change your mind" then never talk to her again. Either she calls, or she doesn't.

Instead you just went along with friendzone. Why? It's not what you want? Thats why it happens; you let it happen. People will only ever treat you how you allow them to treat you.

Sorry to hear the situation. It happens to the best of us from time to time..

Hope I helped.

_________________
I grew out of the dumb shit I used to say on here. Most of my posts don't represent who I am today at all.