Hey guys,

The only time I come to this forums is when I actually have a problem.

Long story short

I met this girl at school, she my first proper set since I discovered game.

So we started dating , not long after that I made her my GF. I have been staying at her place for the last 3-4 months or so. We enjoy our time together, have been to few holidays and it is all going fine so far.

The problem few days ago I discovered that she is flirting with some guys at her company. In fact, she recently started a new job. So, she is an intern (it's is a temporary positions) and it is quite important for her to impress all of the company in order to become a permanent employee.

So far so good, she is asking those guys for things(e.g reports, docs, ect) things that are important and add value to the job she is doing. -

However, I am really pissed off to discover that she is properly flirting with them. For example: she sent one of the guys a picture of her nails, and another picture whilst playing volleyball.

More shocking The guys who text her asked her who is she living with, and she responds - 'with my university housemates' - SHE SKIPPED THE FACT THAT SHE LIVES WITH ME !!!!!

The following guys, are proper AFCs in my eyes, they text her constantly and she barely responds, but when she does it is too flirtatious.

I don't fucking know how to proceed. I tried not to bring up the topic once I discovered this. I stayed in control of my emotion, but was really pissed.

So, I created a lot of drama, told her that 'we are moving too fast and we take ourselves too seriously, therefore we should slow down and 'keep our options open'.

Then she became too emotional stated crying heavily, saying to me 'Baby you are my harbour if I lose you my life is finished ect, ect). - She was crying fucking hard.

In addition. This girl had a boyfriend when I met her, she was in a long term relationship ( 5-6 years). I;m the second man in her life. I asked her to make a decision whether she wants to carry on with me or be with the same guy. So she decided to be with me, but she is still occasionally texting him (her ex, he is living abroad). I don't care about it, as I know that when a girl is in a long-term relationship it could be quite difficult for her to quit - straight away.

I don't really know how to handles this, I know that if I show her insecurity - I am FUCKED.

I don;t want to bring up the topic. I am at work SPAM and cannot concentrated still fucking thinking about this shit.

Yesterday, I told her 'We both know what the problem is and why I pissed off' then she said is it because of the messages, and I said WTF are you talking about ( I just pretended that I don't know) about any messages and made up a story that I pissed off because of something completely different.

She then explained about her messages and just told me that she is asking these guys for things.
They are fucking orbiters, proper AFCs, but I am afraid that they may build up strong rapport, isolate her and fuck her.... I know that I should be the Alpha male and not give a shit. But still it's quite difficult for me to figure out what is happening .

Any advice is highly appreciated .

Sorry for the long post .

You are showing her insecurity by being passive aggressive and instead of telling her that you are not ok with her flirting you act like it doesn't bother you but in reality it does and you say shit like "we are moving to fast".
First of all you can ask her why does she have to say to her colleges that she is living with roommates when this is not true ? Tell her that if she is in a relationship than act like it because what she does is disrespectful.
Second sending pictures of her nails is nothing. So you don't need to worry about that.
Third if she talks to her ex and it bothers you then tell her. I can tell it does bother you because you mention this in here. Doesn't matter how long was their relationship.
Being the alpha male is telling her what bothers you straight up.

Yeah man. Thanks for your response.

I have heard that if you share your feelings with a girl and fucking show her that your are jealous, you automatically become an AFC.

However, what you are saying does make sense, as long as it doesn't project insecurity.

I will talk to her tonight at the same time look for a back up.

I think one of the most important things for being in a relationship is being able to talk about everything..

Still quite confused.

Your girl is a cheater, plain and simple. Acting single = wanting to get fucked. You brought this on yourself when you chose to date a cheater. Did you expect her to be faithful to you when she wasnt to her ex? Did you think you were special? No. Odds are there's another guy already messing with her.

Sorry, but you picked a cheater. You know that. Please stop fooling yourself that she is gonna be faithful to you and that this nail shit and favors is her "flirting." You're rationalizing that her intentions aren't bad when her history is bad. EVEN if she didn;t have a history of cheating, if a girl is not telling dude's about you...she's looking for d.

Well basically, she did say to him that she has a BF, however when he asked her who does she live with she did not say that's she lives with me .


I think that girl love it when guys are hitting on them. There were few guys texing her before and she told me about it.

I will just have a conversation with her tonight .

Ok

First, guys, stop placing your gf's "orbiters" into the AFC category to say that she wouldnt fuck them. Girls rationalize who they sleep with based on emotions. You could be the biggest alpha and he could be the biggest wuss. She'll rationalize you're controlling, cocky and he's sensitive and listens to her. Look around. Girls aren't only fucking the most alpha guys. Most guys fit into the AFC category by PUA logic.

Second, this is just MY opinion and someone can disagree. But a girl who cheats with you will cheat on you. Ask yourself, what is different between you and her ex? You knew she had a bf. The new guys know. And guess what....if you say that well her ex was AFC, a jerk, bad in bed, or whatever, she is probably telling the next guy "he is pissed with me" or "he creates alot of drama." or "well he said keep our options open." I've slept with enough cheaters to know that as much as they could say the love me, they'd cheat on me just the same as their ex. So I don't wife them. Then they find the next guy, and they cheat on him with me again.

When a girl is a cheater, you can't believe any emotion she gives you. Tears, pleading, love talk etc. When she was with her ex, do you think she didn't LIE and CRY with him?

I'm not saying this to make you paranoid and maybe someone else can offer an opinion. You entered a messed up situation and it's showing symptoms of her old ways.

Insecurity: Normally insecure people don't have a sense of self worth. They need external validation to feel good about themselves. Which in you case might be your girlfriend. She makes you feel good. You don't want this to end since if it did you would be left on your own. And you think it's unpleasant since you can't take care of emotional and physical needs on your own. So here comes the mindset where you don't want to lose her. At all costs. You don't talk about something bothering you because you read on the internet that if you do she will lose attraction and dump you. And then you would blame yourself even more. You were the problem. You shouldn't have felt like you did. So you act like things don't bother you where in reality they do. You can do this for a while but don't think for a second that she won't pick up the clues. She will know something is up and will wonder why are you acting like a hurt child. Now this WILL cause loss of attraction since you can't tell you whats on your mind. Like an adult would.

Jealousy: If my girl sends a picture to a guy and being flirty with him I tell her that I don't like it. I'm not telling her that she should stop but I do myself the favor to let her know how she makes me feel. It's this simple. If she thinks it's ok then she just showed you how much she cares about you. You can do the same thing to other girls and see how she likes it, or you can just show her the door. I would vote for the second since life is busy enough already without playing games. But you need to know what is flirting and what is normal human interaction. In your case this is borderline so if it bothers you just tell her to stop.

When you talk to her you need to be calm. It's hard to do for some people but you have to try. If she is a decent girl she will understand and she will stop. If not then the question is whether you will put up with the behavior or not. It's your call but you need to know that there are many girls out there that are decent with a good personality who don't act like this. This is why you need to have a few girlfriends first because otherwise you won't know this.

Jealousy comes from a place when you are afraid of a loss of something or someone. Of course it will suck if she dumps you but you will survive and you will find someone else. Thinking that you won't is unrealistic.

About girls loving when guys are hitting on them: They do. They like to dress up look good go out and be told by guys that they look amazing and all the good stuff. HOWEVER. If they are any decent they stop the guy in his tracks and tell him that they are taken or any other reason (which here some guys think is a shit test). They won't lie about them being with a guy or living with a guy. If your girl does this then she might have emotional problems or you might not look after her well enough.

Hope this makes sense. You need to tell her what bothers you and straight up.

I forgot to ask you something. How did you discover that she is flirting ? I'm just hoping you didn't check her facebook / phone.

Mate what you are saying makes sense. However, I will give you an example, my mom and dad are divorced . My mom cheated on my dad with a guy who is now married to her.

Conclusion, my mom is a cheater,
Did she cheat again - NO .

So neo87, I think that you have end up in the wrong mindset. If you think that a girl with cheat on you , yeahhh she will.

As I said women love to be hit on and texted .. However, we haven;t had this type of conversations with my gf I will talk to her tonight and tell her what I think.

Finally, I will start looking for a backup, if she doesn't really understand what I am about

As much as I want to disagree with you I can't.

This is why guys should forget the whole boyfriend destroyer shit when they are looking for a proper girlfriend.

With the example of your mom, how do you know she didn't cheat again? Not saying she did, but women are able to hide things much better than men. Men are stupid and can get caught easy. Women are trickier. And I mean that with full respect for women. But I'll take your example as one where a cheater or someone who cheated stopped.

However, my longer response is a cheater will continue to cheat if their actions stay the same. If an ex cheater is still texting other dudes that's a red flag. Can an alcoholic stop drinking? Yes. But not if they're going to the bars and hanging out with other drinkers. And if they DO go to the bars and frequent drinking situations and they dont drink, they are the EXCEPTION. If you had told me, theres this girl who cheated on her bf with me, she chose me and now she doesn't entertain male attention...I'd be like...hmm risky situation but looks like she is being faithful. But when she is seeking male attention I gotta see it as her cheating.

I disagree with this "if you think she'll cheat she will" mentality. People cheat because of who THEY are.

I'll ask a question: what keeps this girl from cheating on you? Love? She loved her ex. Integrity? No, she has cheated? Fear of you leaving her? Easy not to get caught. If her ex and found her phone when you were talking together, he wouldve brushed it off the same way "she likes male attention."

Agreed.

OP, read your other posts on this girl
It sounds worse because of the way she cheated. I was hoping it was a "she says she's attracted but doesn't want to do anything because of her bf so all we do is just talk a little" kinda cheating. But no. It was full blown double life cheating. How can you trust this girl?

So all you are saying is that I am fucked.

The way I rationalize is that she she been with this boy for more than 6-years and she still feels attached to him..

Man when I think about things you are right.

But the problem is that we really help each other with this girl in terms of career and life development. Shall I quit with her straight away or find a backup first...

PFfff it's so fucking complicated .

This is just my opinion. Maybe more people can give their thoughts.

I was literally in your position. Just broke up with my girlfriend for a couple of reasons, she was a game player loved to be chased wanted to make me jealous fair enough at the start of a relationship/chase you can allow these things to happen but there is a point when you gotta stop and realise that a relationship is a team, you look after each other not try out do each other.

Can I ask a question, what does she think or say when you text other girls or if you are flirty with other girls?

Remember man at the end of the day you gotta look out for yourself to! She's not gonna be there for you when you break up. You can't let it go on if you know a couple months down the track you guys will break up over trust or because she did cheat.

Take control make her jealous if you have to.

She admited that she checks my phone all the time. At the beggining of our relationship she found out that I was gaming other girls and was really upset was crying ect.


Yesterday we had a chat and she acknowledged her mistake and said to me that what she was doing is inappropriate and won't happen again.

Was begging and begging me for another chance . saying that she doesn't want to lose me and she cannot believe what she was doing by exchanging these messages.

I was calm when I simply explained to her that what she did is not what a gf does and behave. I told her that I don't like it.

But you are fucking right best cure is responding with the same - flirting / texting girls.