so im sargin this HB8 and every time i try and neg her or go C&F on her she lashes out and gets defensive.. or just shuts me down.

[the following convo took place via txt msg]:

(conversation about college)

HB: blah blah blah.. i got no idea what i wanna do in college.. hey i g2g cuz i wanna go dance in the rain! lol jkz i gotta go dinner now so ill ttyl =]

BM: lol wow i almost believed that.. i dont know u that well yet so who knows how weird u cud be..? =P ok take it easy ill ttyl

(back from dinner 15 mins later)

HB: haha well then i should let u know im no way near as weird as u are lmao =P

BM: lol someones gettin a bit defensive - its ok i dont think ur weird.. although u do kinda lack direction if u dont know wat u wanna do in college yet =P
(we're both in our final yr of high school)

HB: well at least im not insecure like u who keeps baggin me out 2 make urself feel better lol wen in actual fact u know im perfect haha

BM: haha ur so cute wen ur mad lol and it looks like my cockiness is rubbin off on u.. =]

HB: dont compliment urself, i already had that cockiness lol k i need 2 study for a chem test tomorrow so ill ttyl

BM: actually i was complimenting u by calling u cute but i take it back now.. =P see thats why it would never work out between us- we're too similar. (referring to our cockiness) anyway ill let u study now, good luck with ur test =]

==============================

so far it seems like she doesnt respond too well to that kinda thing or maybe she likes playin around like that but its very hard to tell how shes actually feeling wen the conversation is through txt msg..

could i have played this situation any better? and should i just avoid using negging or C&F on her? any advice would be much appreciated.

_________________
"Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."

www.attractwomen.com.au

I see a few things in your convo that could use some tweeking. I mean this to be constructive critisim. Im also not a mPUA or anything, i actually consider myself new...but her it is.
Its VERY important when texting/writting to be very careful. Remember that when speaking to someone they can see your facial expressions, your posture, hands, and other non-verbal communication. For the most part more then 50% of what we say is done without speaking.

A good remedy to this is to over do it with emotes/smiley's. It will show the reader when something you are saying is meant to be taken as a joke.
This is the girls way (and many girls way) of showing you they are spontaneous without putting themselves at risk. Its also mildly flirty. Consider it S&F (spontaneous and funny).
This went well, np's so far. You setup banter and she ate it up. You used an emote smiley to show you were playing around and she returned it (mirrored your behavior).

*more about the above exchange at end of post
This is where you lose your frame and things start to derail. You called her defensive for seemingly no reason at this point. Then on top of that you flat out insulted her about college.

For some reason you went from funny and flirty to jerk in like a second flat. You shoulda escalted the banter and moved it into a more sexual frame, or at least amp up attraction and work towards a number if you didnt have it yet.

On top of it at this point telling her you dunt think she is wierd was completely AFC. Its essentially apologizing for your C&F. You coulda used that to make fun of her and keep the banter going later.
By now her bitch shield is back up full force, then she ejects. Your not different or entertaining anymore...now your an ass, just another guy.

Your first comment was a reach to save frame, your second comment is another stretch after she has already shot down your first comment and ejected.

_____________________________________

All in all you started very well, but then derailed yourself by not sticking with the flow of the convo. You NEED to be in control of the frame, you should have a preset idea of where you want it to go and lead the convo that way.

* At this point you should have escalated the banter, humor, and even sexual tension.

you coulda responded something like..."Ha, so we are both wierdo's then...thats why we'd never get along..."

This statement would disqualify her.

Then you could time bridge by going, "I can just see it now, we would go out and try to out wierd each other. We'd be in the mall and youd be saying to people 'im marvin martian, whats your favorite flavor of bowling ball?' and then id be walking around pretending to be a lost 5 year old kid tuggin on peoples sleeves asking them where my parents are."

You know something like this...Kind of a role play/time bridge. Or you could go in whatever direction you like, just something that maintains/escalates the mood. Negs are meant to break down a bitch shield, you had aparently already done that for the most part and then you slipped and insulted instead of negg'd.

Hope this helps.

_________________
-Ka-
"Be the same, only better."

thank u SO much man that made a LOT of sense..
i really appreciate it - u'll be receiving rep pts from me for this.
=]

ur completely right i really didnt mean to insult her and my intent was to get her to qualify herself to me [by saying somethin like "no im not like that.. etc"], which pretty much failed and she prob took it as a direct attack.

btw i do have her number (otherwise i couldnt be txtin her in the first place =P) so im thinking of starting my next txt msg convo with her by using an opinion opener and asking how she went in her exam.. wat do u think?

_________________
"Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."

www.attractwomen.com.au

Thank you much, im glad i could help.

You could be texting on AIM or something, right? Also why would you have a convo in texting when you could be on the phone with her?

Your goal (unless you dont have the time) should almost always be to escalte a target from text < phone < in person.

I do NOT suggest asking her about her test or showing any intrest in what she is doing. Your a busy guy and havnt been sitting around thinking about her.

I suggest that after about 2 days of not talking to her (im assuming you havent spoken to her since the messages above), you send her this text message (if she has a sence of humor, and isnt sensitive to racial humor)...

YOU: "What do you call a black guy who lives in Canada and flys a plane?"

Her: "blah blah" (anything positive, any response asking you for the answer)

YOU: "A pilot, gosh what are you racsist . haha i got a kick outta that, maybe ill call you later with another GREAT joke."

Make sure you wait to respond like 15min or more. Also you told her your gonna call her later, shes gonna assume that day, YOUR NOT GONNA CALL HER! You are gonna have another joke ready, this one will be upto you to find.

If she doesnt call you that night maybe call her the next day or the day after. Start all over, ask her opinion on something (opener)...neg her on her response maybe(be careful), DHV a bit..etc.

If she calls you, or if you have called her, and she wants to hear the other joke...do NOT give it to her right away, make her work for it by being playful and C&F...when she is complying with you and your feeling the positive energy then give it to her.

These of course are all ideas, you dont have to do them exactly as i suggested. However your goal now is to re-establish a connection, bust down her newly built bitch shield, and re-establish yourself as the intresting guy, the different guy. All while maintaining your frame and controlling the flow of things.

Hope this helps

_________________
-Ka-
"Be the same, only better."

thanx again man - i forgot to check this thread before i sms'd her again but i did pretty much what u said except i made the mistake of asking her how her test went in the middle of the convo wen it was getting a bit slow..

and btw i have called her a couple of times but my msging game is much better and im usually doing something when i msg HBs so i kinda multi-task. like i said im in my last yr of skool so im usually too busy during the weekdays to have a proper conversation on the phone.

hahaha but im definitely gonna use ur suggestion with the black pilot for next time and yeh ur right i really should aim to re-frame myself as the new and interesting guy. my weakness is when i let her take the dominant frame and give her control so i gotta work on this.

cheers for all ur advice man,
peace.

_________________
"Losers always whine about their best. Winners go home and fuck the prom queen."

www.attractwomen.com.au

No problem glad i could help...the last thing i will say though is that you know, and i know, that the too busy for phone convo is just an excuse.

Sure sometimes its accurate, but the real reason is because its a non commital way of speaking with her, where you have time to think about what you say all while staying in your comfort zone.

If your msg'in game is strong, and your phone game not as much, which one should you be practising more?

Hope this helps, gl.

_________________
-Ka-
"Be the same, only better."