Have you ever been chatting with a woman having an awesome conversation, you can sense she’s attracted to you, and then out of nowhere her mood shifts and she starts acting like a “bitch” toward you?

For example, I’m extremely “edgy” when flirting with women. I love to tease, and most of the time my attitude and demeanor borderline on arrogance (I say borderline because I balance this edgy attitude out with humor so it’s kind of clear I’m not being serious).

Women love this attitude and are turned on by it because it communicates charm, charisma, confidence, and comfort all in one tight package. Most of the time, this style of flirting brings a subtle sexual dynamic to the conversation and flies under the radar. Occasionally, however, I’ll come across a woman who seems to disapprove of my attitude and calls me out on it by saying, “you’re really cocky”.

This is where many men slip up. When an interaction is going well with a woman we never want to mess things up. In the above scenario, when the woman has just called me out, my initial reaction used to be to worry about what she thought of me, and in response I would tone down my teasing to appease her.

<Insert loud buzzer noise from “Family Feud” here>

I just failed the woman’s test. Through her test, she was assessing the strength of my reality (aka my frame) to see if I was the “real deal” or not. A man who was being totally authentic in the interaction and was truly comfortable in his own skin wouldn’t have reacted the way I did. She’s now exposed the truth that on a deep level I’m seeking her approval.

That’s definitely not attractive.
Tests are Opportunities

So, what’s the proper way to deal with a woman’s tests?

The first step, I realized, is to stop viewing these challenges as tests and, instead, begin to view them as opportunities.

In part 2 of my interview with Antara Prakash she and I discussed the topic of testing in-depth, and we came to the conclusion that women test hoping the man will pass her test. It’s a counter-intuitive concept, but it makes sense when observed more closely.

When a woman feels deep attraction for a man, she’s ecstatic. Attraction is not something she experiences on a gut-level very often (especially if she’s an attractive, high quality woman with a ton of options), so when she does feel it she subconsciously begins looking for a way to take her attraction for the man to the next level.

This is when the “test” comes in.

She directly challenges the man hoping he will maintain his composure so she can feel his masculinity, power, and dominance on a deep level. It’s her way of taking her attraction to the next level while concurrently assessing whether or not the man is the real deal.

Be excited whenever a woman who is clearly attracted to you throws a test your way. It’s a golden opportunity to demonstrate what kind of man you really are, and to ramp up her attraction for you.
The Proper Response

Nowadays, when I’m chatting with a woman who’s clearly attracted to me and all of a sudden she says, “You’re really cocky”, I get excited. I know I’ve just been presented with an awesome opportunity to demonstrate my masculinity and to take her attraction for me to the next level.

Instead of worrying about what she thinks of me and toning my teasing down in an effort to appease her, I actually kick things up a notch.

I look her dead in the eye, maintain my composure so she can feel my masculinity, and respond with, “I know… you love it” with a sly smile on my face.

Based on what happens next, it’s quite clear she does.

The next time you’re facing a test from a woman you believe is attracted to you, maintain your composure and see her “test” for what it really is.

An excellent opportunity.