Hey all!

After spending too long being an AFC, and finally getting sick of my "why bother, she'll just reject me like all the others" attitude, I have finally taken the step towards learning the rules and playing to win the game.

I'm not hideous (i don't think), I've got a good job, and I can charm, my big issue is the close. It's gone from something that is a subject of ridicule at work to something I am pitied for, and this is something I cannot abide. Help is needed!

I hope you all can give me some pointers, and I hope in time i can help those less fortunate...if anyone's over in Madrid and wants to wingman/sarge, shout me up!

Thanks in advance,
D'Arcy T

Yo,

Something I always think about is the idea of enjoying the journey. It’s a bit cliché, but its exactly what this is all about. There are no quick fixes or miracle formulas or perfect openers. But there is a lot of LUCK…both good and bad. The key is to chip away at your game skills instead of trying to read message boards for 4 hours. Definitely read message boards and attain your own information and apply them as much as possible, but DON’T expect instant results and lose motivation.

The biggest sticking point throughout history is fear of being rejected, and then letting rejection bog down your motivation. It SHOULD be the opposite: failing/rejection isn’t that bad. Its like a callous on your hand, built by years and years sports/work/experience. You can now put your thumb over a flame and you can manage. Eventually, being rejected or ignore or flaked on should cause a shrug moment of “well, that sucked but oh well.”

What is probably happening is that you have all kinds of new information in your arsenal that you aren’t sure when to use and how. Don’t try everything at once. Pick one or two skills and focus on those (whether its kino/rapport/bantering/approaching). Even if you pick one, the other skills will be used, kind of like doing pull-ups and it works not only your arms/shoulders but your core as well. This way you can be a lot more well-rounded when you do get the hang of things.

If closing is your main issue, you are in a good spot in terms of taking the next step. Closing is actually a lot easier than people think because its all predicated on what happened prior to that moment. If the date was good, the conversation/banter was good, then a kiss should be the easy part. The key is being able to, through the date, determine where she’s at with you in terms of attraction. This is where you start identifying and mapping all of her IOIs so that you can make an informed decision to give her a hug and call it a night, or walk her home and eat her face.

Good luck man.