I am a College student. I am an introvert. I cannot talk with people, even male students. When I meet anyone all I do is ask a few initial boring questions and then remain silent which feels very uneasy. I can't find any topic which seems to keep the conversation flowing. I have tried newspaper topics and other hot topics. But I can't seem to be able to keep a smooth flow of conversation. In this situation, please help me. Please advice what I am supposed to do.

to have to force yourself into more situations like this.
join an improv class
join toastmasters

anything to get your used to being in social situations.

learn conversation threading

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I agree with what KD-manc said. Join an improv class. Also take a few basic communication courses, ie. intro to public speaking and intro to interpersonal communication.

Maybe some improv classes or toastmasters will help, but I highly doubt it. You may learn to formally communicate but your issue is with personal communication

Stop trying to force conversations with people. Pressure busts pipes. Especially when it comes to meeting new people. Realize that most ppl are happy with their social groups as they are, so to enter someone else's new social circle there has to be a reason. START THERE.

Involve yourself in groups/ outings and social situations that fit your interests. Now you dont have to manufacture any new material. Talk to people who you find interesting.... stop trying to BE interesting and be yourself.

Put yourself in environments where you are most likely to succeed, build your confidence then venture out of your comfort zone.

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Some great advice so far, on how to get used to talking and to meet new friends and earn new social muscles. This is big because I have a little secret not many PUA's talk about: Extroverts get laid more.

A lot of guys will teach you that you can get laid being an introvert. For PUA's this is the 'off night' they talk about where they were not in state or did everything wrong and go the girl. You can get laid being an introvert. Do not get me wrong. Their are methods that teach that and have validity. But Extroversion is one of those traits that is tested in social psych to get more friendships and sexual partners.

The line of Extroversion and Introversion is marginal. The thin line between outgoing and not being outgoing is so small we dramatize this issue. You are an introvert? But you open? If you open you appear to be an extrovert. If you run out of things to say that is another issue.

A lot of introverts have a few common problems. They normally just do not have enough positive reference experience in social interactions. They often run out of stuff to say, which is either a mechanical problem with not planing out safe conversation topics, having an unrealistic bar for what you can say to a girl (As in thinking you need super cool stuff to say), or being nervous. I may be reaching, but I bet one of these problems are your own.

A few tactics designed to help get things going would be: Cold Reading (Being Observant), Plowing (Keep talking no until it hooks), re-frame questions as statements, and canned - material. A joke or line to spark conversation, or practically any opener you have ever heard, is often a better way to spark conversation than typical rapport questions.

I would also like to add, I would bet your body language is poor. A lot of attraction can be done with body language and with body language that IOI's, IOD's, and calibrates to the situation you can keep in a conversation far longer.

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I had trouble with approaching people, regardless of them being male or female. I had an average sized friends but I wanted to meet new, better looking people. I got into magic (card magic specifically since cards don't need much preparation). Knowing from all the reactions from my friends saying that my tricks are crazy I gained confidence that I can approach people with a high guarantee of a positive reaction. The thought of sarging scared me so when I approached I just kept in my mind that all I wanted to do is entertain. Eventually my entire school now knows me for magic.

I got rid of my approach anxiety by this and now I can approach without cards. But they are good routines if the conversation dies, so I keep a pack in my back pocket just in case.

Try not to use openers that are boring. People like to gossip or talk about obscene things. So do an opener that does not just get them to talk, but something that shocks/funny them.

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Really really great advice from Life PUA here.

As mentioned, joining toastmasters and improv classes do help you overcome introversion. (I myself recently joined a toastmasters club early this year) however, it doesn't help you enough, albeit rather slowly. The reason is because they help you recondition yourself to talking a lot and become more outgoing. Your introversion came into your life because of a particular social conditioning you had since you were a child. (Blame your parents for this)

I'd advise you to look within yourself. Find out what makes you an introvert. You have close friends yes? Are any of them extroverts? If they are, then find out what makes them tick. Notice behavioral differences and patterns. All answers you seek are always found within.

Be observant. Be more spontaneous. Notice your tone of voice. Notice your body language. Once you wholly realize the patterns, you start becoming more understanding of your predicament. But knowing isn't enough. You have to keep practicing. If you ever have a chance to go out for some drinks with some friends (or a friend), then go for it. Don't skip this important opportunity. Keep being out there. You find yourself at home doing assignments and you feel so bored or emotional, call up a friend and ask if they'd wanna go out tonight.

But I really can't stress this enough: Knowing is not enough. Being out there with a social group isn't enough. You have to realize things, you have to observe. Observe how your body is reacting etc..

You mentioned that you don't know of any words to say. Well here's the thing. I'm an introvert too, and I used to be on the exact same page. Try to make suggestions and statements, instead of questions. Anything comes up in your mind, you say it. Don't try to evaluate and decide if it was funny enough or good enough to say. Just blurt out. You're in a group or with a close friend, you saw something stupid happening in the corner of your eye, you point out to them and talk about it.

I'm guessing you have quite a lot to say with your group, but you don't say it because you don't think it could hook. Start using more interesting first liners instead of just saying your words out. Things like, "Hey funny thing happened..." Or "Woah did you guys know..." Goes a long way.

Hope this helped you in any way possible. Take care

With love,
Matt

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"Don't try to change who you are. Don't even think you're not good enough right now. You ARE good enough being who you are. Women can smell a fake man the same way you can smell cheesecake."

This.

The only way to not be introverted anymore is to not be introverted anymore. Stop letting some word define who you are and how you act. Change yourself.

Do you not want to talk to girls? Cause if you're a cool, normal, not creepy guy... Girls will want to talk to you. Go talk to some of them and you'll see this.

They call them "social skills" for a a reason. You've gotta practice to get good at something.

You don't need to talk about newspaper topic. The topic that people in general are most interest are - themselves! Peoples love to talk about themselves, especially women.

I am an introvert too, the good things about intorvert is we are really good at creating sexual tension, which is very important for ONS.

Handle your fundamental(you can check at my blog about fundamental) well first, and get used with sexual tension then you are good to go!

Hope this help,
Naughty Napoleon

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The thing that most people in the PUA community just don't understand is that you don't have to be extroverted to be an incredibly potent seducer.

I am an introvert and I spent over 10 years learning everything there is to know in regards to pickup, attraction, seduction, dating, etc.

I was constantly frustrated because no one really understood the needs of introverts, or what being introverted even meant!

Well, after 10 years of getting really good at this pickup shit, naturally I got lazier and found shortcuts and found that I could just be my naturally introverted self and STILL do pickup and seduction even more effectively than when I went about all the extroverted ways.

INTROVERSION IS NOT THE PROBLEM. The limiting belief that introversion is an obstacle IS a problem. Introversion can actually be used to your advantage.

For example, introverts are better active listeners in general. You can actually use that to your advantage to be a better PUA than an extroverted guy. Extroverted pickup methods will emphasize things like "holding court" in a group approach and storytelling, but you can bypass all that shit that doesn't suit you.

In a conversation with a girl, other PUAs will tell you some ratio numbers like you should be talking 50/50 or 80/20 or some other bullshit like that, but you can actually have the girl be talking the majority of the time and still have the most enjoyable conversation she has ever had.

You don't have to try and force yourself to be extroverted. That's fucking exhausting and not worth the trouble. The problem you have specifically is that the questions you ask are BORING.

I already have a pretty good idea of what kinds of questions you ask. They're pretty topical and your aim is to get "what" information like their major and where they're from, right? And they usually just fall flat there?

Try this out: the next time you talk to someone, focus on the "why" with your questions. Try to find out their values and motivations instead of trying to just fill out a topical profile of them in the database of your mind. That should make your conversations a hell of a lot more engaging. And guess what? Once you start doing this, it'll come a lot more naturally for you BECAUSE YOU ARE INTROVERTED.

Let me know if you have any other questions on how you can use introversion to your ADVANTAGE. I'm the resident Seductive Introvert here.

I can concur Chief. For those of us who are naturally extroverts, and charismatic, there is a very exhaustive process of just being ourselves, as reported by studies on Charisma. If you are not naturally Charismatic, that effort and eventual dump from putting so much energy out can be crippling to guys new to the Game.

I would also like to add, Extroverts have an advantage at first, and Introverts do later on. It is MUCH harder to learn as an extrovert to be quiet and actively listen and not hold court after you learn it, as opposed to an Introvert to in a typical seduction just needs to learn to get Attraction and then revert to normal to build Rapport, Investment, and Comfort.

By the way, you have a great blog.

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Thanks, LIFE PUA