Dear PUA's,

It is always bad when people talk shit about you, but especially in front of girls you are hitting on.
Things they say:
- How is you girl doing you kissed yesterday? (in front of the girl and me)
- Is everything okay with your girlfriend? (in front of the girl and me)
- He is hitting on every girl, he is dangerous. (when I was not there)

The next day my AFC friends didn't talked about it. So I didn't make any big deal of it.
But the intensions of my friends are there: I will talk bad about you, so I have more change with the girl you are hitting on.

How do you PUA's deal with this?

Dzifa

He's not your friend, plain and simple. Find new friends that reflect your values and are respectful towards you.


ANYONE who detracts/takes away from you is NOT your friend. Even if it's intended as a 'joke' they are still a negative presence and will reflect badly on you to women ("Why does this guy tolerate this crap?!").

Having boundaries with people is important. Think of your life as a house. The house has a pretty picket fence, a lawn with flowers, and beyond that a street. Be very selective of who you let into your house, some people you may just want to keep outside in the garden/lawn, and others on the other side of the street. If you let anyone who 'seems nice' into the house you may find yourself having these issues in which case you need to push them out and back into the street (maybe they'll get hit by a car in the process, who knows, who cares). Point is, if you surround yourself with this you'll soon start adopting a negative self view, rather than building something positive and empowering. Don't let toxic people into your home, plain and simple.

Dear n2thevoid,

First of all that friends are very close friends, they just are very jealous because I get girls and they don't.
But I think you are right about your example with the house.
If you have a lot of AFC friends around you, (Because what they did was just a PLAN B AFC move) the women that are in your life will see you diffrent, instead off having PUA's as friend.

Thanks for your reply, so in short your answer is: Search for more respectful friends?

Close or not you made them that way.

My analogy stands, my advice stands.

Find new friends who'll empower you and support you in your quest for the kinda life you want to lead.

Wise words, I will think about you wrote down.

Thanks again,

Dzifa

Horrible advice.

Just because your friends are rude sometimes doesn't mean they shouldn't be your friends. That's like breaking up with your girlfriend because she keeps salting her corn after you told her not to. It's in their nature. OP, your friends are AFC, this is a fact. It is in their nature to act this way, it is not because they're bad friends.

Tell them off, don't just brush it off. If it happens again, THAN you should start reconsidering the relationship. I used to be much shyer. My friend, while AFC and gets poor results, does though have confidence to approach girls. When he'd do this, in my mind I'd have the urge to toss him under the bus because I felt the girl wasn't deserving of this fool. We were both AFCs, me for trying to bring down others to boost myself and him for just being plain bad with woman

Really? Your friends telling your girl he's hitting on every girl in the bar?

You consider those friends? You must have extremely low self-esteem.

Tell me, would you insist on keeping a cancerous appendage because, well, its your appendage?

Drop em dude, you can make new close friends easily, people like that slowly leach at you, the mere fact that you had to post this issue online is already mirroring the fact that its getting to yur emotions

_________________
When you do the right thing, you will be shocked at the things that will happen in return. When you do the right thing, it always comes back.

I wouldn't drop them. If you drop friends only because they fuck you up around girls then you're valuing getting girls over close friends ie putting girls on this pedestal because you're saying getting girls is all that's important to you. If these are close friends ie they have your back, if you are sick they would give a fuck, if you're in jail at 3am they'd bail you out, keep them. Ditch them and those girls you get at the bar will send your call to vmail when you need something. If they don't have your back in other aspects ditch. "Close" friends can mean they have your back or it can mean you grew up together and you hang out a lot. Assess if these friends really care for you despite trying to get girls from you.

Talk to them and let them know it's not cool. Also are you being a good friend yourself? If they are desperate for girls as a friend you should help them.

Those are not your friends man.

I second n2thevoid's advice.

You don't have to "tell them off." Just stop hanging out with them.

They will get the picture and either cut it out or get lost.

You can sit there thinking these guys are your "friends" or you can accept the fact that what they are doing is looking out for their own interest and sabotaging you in the process. Don't be stupid. You can always make new friends.

"- How is you girl doing you kissed yesterday? (in front of the girl and me)
- Is everything okay with your girlfriend? (in front of the girl and me)
- He is hitting on every girl, he is dangerous. (when I was not there)"

What is your definition of friend? For me one of the criterion is that they have my back. Assuming these are grown men, you can't pass this off as ignorance, their behavior has intention behind it, and that intention does not serve your best interest. To me these are clearly not friends.

Seriously stop acting like George McFly getting clowned by a group of Biffs.

I'm liking Neo and Bender's contribution. Manage the situation, don't run from it. Everybody fucks up. . . manage them. If they continue to be unmanageable in pick up situations, then don't go out with them to pick up joints. You can still play pool with them once in a while.

*By the way, that whole thing about ditching friends because you don't like this or that or this?. . . come on. . .that's what chicks do. Gives me the hibby jibbies every time I see a dude behave like a chick . . . "BFF like foooooooorev... fuck you bitch! No, I no you didn't just wink at my boyfriend bitch!" (Read it in the valley girl voice or if you're a dude, in your best stereotype gay dude voice) - go all out. Do that head shake and finger pointing thing. . . it's the image I have in my mind when I read these, "Get rid of your friends" advice.

Also. . . if you ever get to hooking your friends up with chicks as Neo suggests, you'll find that you will fare even better with the ladies. Your friends will suck up to you so that you will continue to send chicks in their direction. . .and women can sense this like they can sense a gay dude from across the room. They'll know who is leading this band. . .

If it happens again, I will do this.
It is difficult to see the whole picture, because you weren't there at the moment, but it are friends for real. They just are AFC. We know eachother six years and go on vacation together.
But if the spoil the moment more, I will take other friends when I am sarging.

Thanks for thinking with me guys.
I love the PUA community.
I know enough and this topic could be closed.

Dzifa

You totally took that the wrong way...

I wasn't suggesting "being a little girl about it."

I just said stop hanging out with them.

If they call you to go out, tell them you're busy. They will eventually get the picture and you will eventually make new friends. Relationships/friendships aren't meant to last forever.

Friends are not selfish. Friends will not hold you back from living the lifestyle that you want.

You can easily replace these assholes who keep cock blocking you with REAL friends who will support you in what you want to do. You can meet guys who will HELP you get laid instead of stopping you from doing so.

Keeping someone in your life because you have some stupid "bromance" with them is just... well, stupid.

It would be like keeping a girlfriend around who holds you back in life because she has a vagina... There are plenty of other girls out there with vaginas who will support you in your life instead of hurting you.

Life is like an elevator. You've gotta stop and let some people off on your way to the top.

lol am i the only one thinking somebody saying that stuff (other than maybe the gf comment) actually helps you when picking up? yeah, i kissed a hot girl yesterday. yeah, i'm hitting on other girls besides you, you're not that special...

i mean what's stopping you from rolling your eyes and saying "nice try" to your friend in front of the girl? what's stopping you from saying "hey my friend here really has a crush on you so he's making bullshit up about me... let him buy you a drink and then you can buy me one with the money you saved."

always look for opportunities to increase your status and value in the eyes of a woman when hitting on her. be quick to improvise on the spot. take what your friends say and use it to your advantage. very possible in this situation.

now if your friend tells a chick you're bad in bed or are a criminal or something... then you definitely need new friends. but them telling other women you're a ladies' man is actually helping you out.

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You must be overconfident and cocksure, even if you haven't got a god damn thing in the world going for you. And you must fail with women until you do not fear the possibility of failure, whereupon you will succeed wildly.