My approach needs work



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 Post subject: My approach needs work
PostPosted: Tue Jun 17, 2014 5:21 am 
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So I recently approached an asian HB10. And from the beginning of opening that set, I was sure I lost it cause she said something like "I gotta get going soon" and was starring at her phone tomuch and even using it. I quickly got the hint and got the hell out of there. It was brutal.

Was there a way I could have saved things? I think I made a mistake by opening too directly with...

"Hey mind if I sit with you?". She hit me with a shy smile and said... " uhhh sure".
"yeah, I just saw you over here eating alone and you are stunning, I had to come say hi" --- and it went downhill from there.


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 17, 2014 5:59 am 
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Quote:
So I recently approached an asian HB10. And from the beginning of opening that set, I was sure I lost it cause she said something like "I gotta get going soon" and was starring at her phone tomuch and even using it. I quickly got the hint and got the hell out of there. It was brutal.

Was there a way I could have saved things? I think I made a mistake by opening too directly with...

"Hey mind if I sit with you?". She hit me with a shy smile and said... " uhhh sure".
"yeah, I just saw you over here eating alone and you are stunning, I had to come say hi" --- and it went downhill from there.

Well, I wouldn't bother telling an HB10 that she is stunning. She knows it already. Try just saying that you saw her and wanted to talk to her. She'll know why.


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 17, 2014 9:44 am 
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Quote:
Quote:
So I recently approached an asian HB10. And from the beginning of opening that set, I was sure I lost it cause she said something like "I gotta get going soon" and was starring at her phone tomuch and even using it. I quickly got the hint and got the hell out of there. It was brutal.

Was there a way I could have saved things? I think I made a mistake by opening too directly with...

"Hey mind if I sit with you?". She hit me with a shy smile and said... " uhhh sure".
"yeah, I just saw you over here eating alone and you are stunning, I had to come say hi" --- and it went downhill from there.

Well, I wouldn't bother telling an HB10 that she is stunning. She knows it already. Try just saying that you saw her and wanted to talk to her. She'll know why.
i agree - then just change the subject to anything else and get her to talk talk talk

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 17, 2014 10:29 am 
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Quote:
So I recently approached an asian HB10. And from the beginning of opening that set, I was sure I lost it cause she said something like "I gotta get going soon" and was starring at her phone tomuch and even using it. I quickly got the hint and got the hell out of there. It was brutal.

Was there a way I could have saved things? I think I made a mistake by opening too directly with...

"Hey mind if I sit with you?". She hit me with a shy smile and said... " uhhh sure".
"yeah, I just saw you over here eating alone and you are stunning, I had to come say hi" --- and it went downhill from there.
This is just criticism nothing personal, but I believe there are a few things you could have done better:

"hey, mind if I sit with you?" I think is a poor way of opening because it almost sounds like you half expect her to not want your presence. Pretend you're used to everyone wanting to be around you no matter who they are and before you know it you'll not be far wrong. Also, it shows a lack of self assurance and you're almost apologising for talking to her before you start. Also, try to think of how many guys have said that to her before, and she'll automatically group you with all of them. Just try saying something to her that is spontaneous and try make it seem like you aren't asking or saying something because you want to hit on her (that's why I personally love the opinion opener).

"yeah, I just saw you over here" shows how you looked over at her, then made a conscious planned decision to walk all the way over to her and hit on her. Try to use the least amount of "investment" as you can (this also is a way to completely avoid rejection in the opening lines if that sort of thing bothers you, which it certainly does to me but not everyone). Also, this "investment" shows you are automatically interested in her without even knowing her, therefore it's obviously because she's a HB10. It's especially important to show attractive woman that it takes more than looks to get you, that she has to be interesting. That'll make her work for it, she already knows she's hot but if you can make her question whether she's actually worth anything as a person well you'll find the experience much better for both of you.


I might mention I've not long been in the game so I may look like I'm trying to sound the pro but honestly just throwing my two bob out there. Interested to see what well known members have to say


Also, never compliment a girl on her looks. You might say she's "cute" but never "sexy", "hot", or "stunning" unless it's dirty talk. ESPECIALLY if you don't even know her at all yet, you'll come off as shallow and desperate.


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 17, 2014 3:58 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
So I recently approached an asian HB10. And from the beginning of opening that set, I was sure I lost it cause she said something like "I gotta get going soon" and was starring at her phone tomuch and even using it. I quickly got the hint and got the hell out of there. It was brutal.

Was there a way I could have saved things? I think I made a mistake by opening too directly with...

"Hey mind if I sit with you?". She hit me with a shy smile and said... " uhhh sure".
"yeah, I just saw you over here eating alone and you are stunning, I had to come say hi" --- and it went downhill from there.
This is just criticism nothing personal, but I believe there are a few things you could have done better:

"hey, mind if I sit with you?" I think is a poor way of opening because it almost sounds like you half expect her to not want your presence. Pretend you're used to everyone wanting to be around you no matter who they are and before you know it you'll not be far wrong. Also, it shows a lack of self assurance and you're almost apologising for talking to her before you start. Also, try to think of how many guys have said that to her before, and she'll automatically group you with all of them. Just try saying something to her that is spontaneous and try make it seem like you aren't asking or saying something because you want to hit on her (that's why I personally love the opinion opener).

"yeah, I just saw you over here" shows how you looked over at her, then made a conscious planned decision to walk all the way over to her and hit on her. Try to use the least amount of "investment" as you can (this also is a way to completely avoid rejection in the opening lines if that sort of thing bothers you, which it certainly does to me but not everyone). Also, this "investment" shows you are automatically interested in her without even knowing her, therefore it's obviously because she's a HB10. It's especially important to show attractive woman that it takes more than looks to get you, that she has to be interesting. That'll make her work for it, she already knows she's hot but if you can make her question whether she's actually worth anything as a person well you'll find the experience much better for both of you.


I might mention I've not long been in the game so I may look like I'm trying to sound the pro but honestly just throwing my two bob out there. Interested to see what well known members have to say


Also, never compliment a girl on her looks. You might say she's "cute" but never "sexy", "hot", or "stunning" unless it's dirty talk. ESPECIALLY if you don't even know her at all yet, you'll come off as shallow and desperate.
Omg, thanks for the advice. I don't mind the criticism. It's kinda what im here for lol.
Your right, I'm usto approaching HB6's and HB7's and they don't always have a guy to tell them their beautiful so they appreciate that and start being nice to you. HB10's however seem like their sick of it, they might even roll their eyes after you give them a compliment on their overall looks. (I think that's what she did with me).

In online dating, I realized that when I make a HB10 question whether shes that great and make her work for it. She tends to chat longer. It's almost funny, Like she has to prove herself to you. Your right, I shouldn't instantly give them what they want (Validation).

I still see this girl like everywhere I go because I'm at college and we almost have the same gym and study schedule. You think I can salvage this sinking ship?


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 17, 2014 4:03 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
So I recently approached an asian HB10. And from the beginning of opening that set, I was sure I lost it cause she said something like "I gotta get going soon" and was starring at her phone tomuch and even using it. I quickly got the hint and got the hell out of there. It was brutal.

Was there a way I could have saved things? I think I made a mistake by opening too directly with...

"Hey mind if I sit with you?". She hit me with a shy smile and said... " uhhh sure".
"yeah, I just saw you over here eating alone and you are stunning, I had to come say hi" --- and it went downhill from there.

Well, I wouldn't bother telling an HB10 that she is stunning. She knows it already. Try just saying that you saw her and wanted to talk to her. She'll know why.
i agree - then just change the subject to anything else and get her to talk talk talk
Yeah, should have just got a canned opener, to transition me into a smooth conversation.


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 18, 2014 5:50 am 
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Quote:
"Hey mind if I sit with you?". She hit me with a shy smile and said... " uhhh sure".

Next time, just sit down. Don't ask for permission. Just assume it's okay.

Quote:
"yeah, I just saw you over here eating alone and you are stunning, I had to come say hi" --- and it went downhill from there.
Why did it go down from there? What happened?


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PostPosted: Sat Jun 21, 2014 3:13 am 
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Quote:
So I recently approached an asian HB10. And from the beginning of opening that set, I was sure I lost it cause she said something like "I gotta get going soon" and was starring at her phone tomuch and even using it. I quickly got the hint and got the hell out of there. It was brutal.

Was there a way I could have saved things? I think I made a mistake by opening too directly with...

"Hey mind if I sit with you?". She hit me with a shy smile and said... " uhhh sure".
"yeah, I just saw you over here eating alone and you are stunning, I had to come say hi" --- and it went downhill from there.

Don't ask to sit with her... you seem like a pest right there. Sit there with confident and funny attitude without asking. Keep the momentum going to break her pattern. You weren't completely sold on yourself in this situation and she got the same vibe from you.

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PostPosted: Tue Jun 24, 2014 11:38 am 
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Asking her if you can sit there was OK. As long as you did it in a cool way, which you seemed to do
alright.

What I'm sensing happened is when you said the second line "You're stunning" etc. that you started
showing a lot of interest for her, and probably appeared needy.

Probably you didn't play or tease her, and you didn't make a conversation like a normal dude, but
you were stuck in your head, thought about what to do next.

That's why she got a weird feeling about you and she left.

You did OK, just next time chill, lean back, relax and make a NORMAL conversation.

Follow these steps:

1. Say something. You did OK with "Mind if I sit here. " You said something.

2. Keep saying something; Make a normal conversation. Ask normal questions
and it's OK if they're boring at first. She feels the excitement of talking to you
so you don't have to be a stand-up comedian here yet.

3. Play. Make a playful conversation. Tease and have fun. When you two
relax, start being more playful. Tease her about being weird for sitting
alone in the park and inviting you to sit with her.

4. Lead to the next step. Ask her for the number or make
an instant date. Say, "You know what, I got like 15 minutes
before I go, let's grab some coffee, it'll be fun..."

And most importantly, don't be harsh with yourself. Be OK with whatever happens and
if it doesn't work ok, move on to the next girl. It's going to be fine.

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