Alright, so I just came across a problem that I struggle with. I care too much what people think.

For example, just right now, a girl came into the room. She's not really attractive, but I wanted to test out my AA. This is a work environment, so I feel I can't just go full-blown Cassanova (at least that's the excuse I tell myself), and there are two other guys in the room.

My colleague and I were having a serious conversation regarding work (I made sure to maintain an Alpha frame and assert myself when talking). At the end of the conversation, I finally acknowledge the girl as she's browsing the internet on her phone. I point to her and jokingly say (with a serious face), "Are you guys hiring?" She then starts talking about why her job sucks and yada yada.

At no point do I ask for her name or introduce myself, I just continue to ask about her work (fail) until the conversation trails off. In my head, I know why I didn't introduce myself or ask for her name: I was worried that the other guys would think I'm hitting on her.

I do this a lot. I'll have some pretty girl in my vicinity, and instead of hitting on her, I opt out because people may see through me. I'd like to know how some of you guys would have handled the situation and give me some pointers.

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"You ain't accustomed of going through customs. You ain't been nowhere, huh?"

Because you were @ work, I can kinda see why you'd be reluctant to make a solid effort. If it fails, you get made fun of... And even if you succeed, rumors could get started by the observers.

Overt gaming at work is tough - and really not a good idea, IMHO. It handicaps you, not to mention shit can get awkward.

The question is - do you still get this anxiety when you're out at a bar? If you're still caring what people you'll never see again think, then, yes - that's something you probably need to work on...

If you're cool when you're outside work - and don't give a fuck, then I don't really see a huge issue.

Cool. Thanks for the response. I suspected that was the case, but I figured I'd ask you guys.

I have yet to try out my skills at the bar, but I feel I'll have less anxiety about it. On the other hand, do you think it should be a natural flow of conversation on both parts after the opener, or should I lead? I have a feeling I'm supposed to lead, but I couldn't even think of a transition to get off the topic of work.

I really hate this because I notice that if it's a total dude environment, I'm often looked at like "Hey, this guy's cool." But when a female comes in, she's like "Meh."

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"You ain't accustomed of going through customs. You ain't been nowhere, huh?"

Try exposing yourself a lot more in girl rich environments. Your testosterone will shoot up and you'll gain more confidence as you get used to being in environments teeming with girls.

For example, check out your nearest grocery store and scout the day and time where there are lots of girls in there. So if you're doing your grocery shopping once a week, cut your purchases into small tranches and do your shopping 3x a week.

You'll get the natural hang of it in 3 weeks or so until you're so used to being around hot women, you don't give a fuck what other people think. Btw, check out the Lay Reports section. Clozer does a few f-closes in groceries. I also sarge in groceries but haven't taken the effort to write lay reports on those. Hence, your best available guide on this sarging approach is Clozer's Lay Reports.

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Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

Girl rich environments are the dream. I work in a male-dominated industry, and I'm hardly home. I should've just gone into the medical field.

Anyway, you know, I've always heard that grocery stores are the spot to pick-up women, but not in the side of town I live it seems (suburbs). I'll keep at it, and try different stores in other parts of town.

On another note, I have taken some of your advice, Hellhound. I started hitting the gym and doing squats, as you suggested to some other guy.

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"You ain't accustomed of going through customs. You ain't been nowhere, huh?"

My bad. I forgot you're in the military.
You might want to look at Google Earth. Checkout the areas where there are lots of cars parked near buildings. Again, timing is everything. There are certain times in the day or night that an ordinary 7-11 store, for instance, is filled with girls.
Uhm. I think that advice was tailored to the other dude based on his circumstances. A general thing though about workouts is that you'll achieve more in terms of pick up if you firmed up your butt a lot more than bulking up on your biceps or chest.

_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

Not really important, but former military. I don't really like putting too much of my business out there on the internet, but the fact remains: I work in male-dominated environment (98% male).

As for the workout deal, I know that came out of left-field as it was not relevant to this topic. I was just trying to point out that I'm not dismissing your advice, and that some of what you have posted, I have actually followed. I'm pretty thankful for that, and my quads are definitely growing. I've lost fat and gained some muscle. Not a lot just yet, but I'm starting to see results and I don't want to stop.

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"You ain't accustomed of going through customs. You ain't been nowhere, huh?"

Cool.

Girls tend to touch you more when you workout. Kinda weird but you'll notice.

_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

Your sticking point is you are not putting yourself on the line.

Yes, when you put yourself on the line, people in general will judge you, either positively or negatively.
You will get judged like a popstar in newspaper.

Hitting on girl is put yourself on the line
Showing interest on girl is put yourself on the line
Escalate on girl is put yourself on the line

Do you think it's worth to put yourself on the line?

Do you think the 'happiness of your dick' is more important or judgement of people?

It's a choice to make here. Have a decided heart, do whatever you can to get what you want.

People will judge and will forget.


Carpe diam
Naughty Napoleon

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Nice. Something to think about.

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"You ain't accustomed of going through customs. You ain't been nowhere, huh?"