Quote:
Note: This is about opening, so I put it her, even if it's a sticking point.
Building attraction seems a sticking point with me, and that's because I can't seems to loosen up, or make her laugh. I know about kino, and I do it, but though I seem to be able to qualify and comfort, attraction seems my big problem, at present, and I cant seem to move beyond it.
The one time I effectively built attraction to get a number was when I went cocky-funny, but I haven't been able to build on it, so I'm trying to find an effective launch into attraction-building when I open.
I'm thinking of greeting, and then going in, ala, "Hey, I just wanted to say, for some reason, your name strikes me as a Jessica." I could then go into cold reading, joke about how I'm practicing, something like that.
I don't think what I'm suggesting is technically a direct opener, is it? I'm just trying to open being funnny, as opposed to asking a question, or stating intent, though I could go, "You're so good looking, your name has to be Jessica, isn't it?"
Thing is, I'm just looking for a comedic leadin, because I've been too serious, but don't feel quite comfortable to get into the right frame of mind consistently. I'm thinking shtick like, "Lemme guess, you're an angry lesbian, who changed her name from Stephanie to Steve."
The issue, repeat, is attraction, repeat, and I'm trying to get up for it, or get comfortable, or enthusiastic, or something. Once she gets laughing, momentum should take over; right now, my "momentum" drifts.
PS: Looking through the lit, cocky-funny overlaps with negs, but with a slightly different purpose, it seems.
Okay, here's my take on it. First, I hate "cocky-funny," as a concept, because it's better called teasing. Anyway, that being said, if you're trying to make her laugh, you're doing the wrong things. Some guys call this being reaction-seeking, I just think it's bad form in any social situation.
You need to say things YOU find funny. The first girl I slept with I introduced myself with "Hey, I'm
my name, who are you." I told her she was WAY too tall for me, which I found funny (she's 5 foot 1 or so).
Also, I'm going to lay down a bit of harsh truth here. If you're 35, unemployed, and have Asperger's, you need to get your life in order. Game should be the LAST thing on your mind. Try to find a job and go out and socialize with people. Game is another form of social skill, regardless of what the gurus will tell you. All the naturals I know are tremendous with people. All the best guys with women are good at talking to people. Conversational skills are a foundation of game. If you can't hold a normal conversation, you can't seduce a woman. It's that simple.
As a natural introvert, I really had to push myself to become a social guy. I still have trouble with it sometimes, but it's a lot easier for me now than it used to be. I used to go to parties and sit in the corner not talking to anyone. Now, I go to parties and I talk to everyone and I enjoy myself. Then, if I see a woman I'm interested in, I go over to her and I introduce myself with all the good emotions and stuff that I've built up. It makes an approach more natural if you're talking to everyone and having a good time than if you simply walk into the room and start picking off the hot girls. Women aren't stupid. They do notice this kind of stuff.
It's just like something like an opinion opener. Women know why you're talking to them. They know you don't give a fuck about their opinion on a dog's name or something. Again, women aren't stupid.
CHAT