I had always been a normal person, I had friends, hobbies, good family, etc. I didn't have a girlfriend, which would make me a little bummed, and I thought that was the only thing missing for me to be happy. Im just finding out right now that actually I was really happy at that time, compared to my current life. And what ruined it seems to be the most idiot and retarded reason ever.

I started watching RSD Tyler videos and I would think that he was the most smart, pimp, powerful man on Earth. I was fascinated by him and his knowledge, I wanted to be like him somehow and someday. Which kinda weird cause I actually like myself (but its kinda the same feeling as a kid when I wanted to be like my old brother cause I thought people liked him more than me). Alright, here it goes: Tyler said in one video that once you're in the game you gotta be ready for a really slow process and he is what he is today cause hes been doing it for 10 years. He also said in another video that emotional crises make you stronger when you get over it, and that he was a very depressed at the age of 18, 19, i guess. So unconsciously I thought I had to be depressed for some good time so that in the future I could benefit from it by being a stronger person (damn, i feel so ashamed by saying this but I gotta go for it, i need help) and whenever I felt confident and able to pimp around there would be something wrong cause the game was a very slow process in which you have to think a lot about it and work on yourself to be able to do all the great stuff. And thats what has been hapenning to me IN THE PAST SIX MONTHS, my mind has been finding all types of reasons for grounding me and making me depressed - I even broke up with my hot girlfriend.

And I know I can be awesome today, I have a perfect life, I actually dont have any real social anxiety, Im not virgin, I know some girls like me (including my ex) and that Im able to fuck or date any girl I want. But FUCK! Tyler's image in my mind is so strong that it seems like its worth giving up all this for maybe being like him one day, if it is that being depressed for months or years will actually lead me to that. I know one day I will laugh at this, but i feel like my mind is blocked right now and beeing depressed is a normal thing in my reality right now, like a good thing. I gotta find some other way to be happy. fuckk this is probably the most retarded thing ever posted here...

Right on!

Tyler is my first true inspiration. I don't want to be "like" Tyler, but I want to change myself to the same degree. My depression was actually much much longer than tyler's and as a whole, I have farther to go than he did. But the inspiration is that with time and guts I can make the change and be a person I am happy to be and has the kind of success with woman I want. My depression is a result of paralyzing social anxiety, particularly associated with woman and sexuality. Slow progress is right, but I'm at the point where I can get girls... lots of them... and really what I'm practicing is my skill and comfort so that I can start "pulling the trigger" and getting physical. I have another anxiety trigger (and this may seem silly), phones/phone calls/phone numbers. So basically, I'm collecting almost no numbers from the scores of supper HBs that I've been able to charm. I'm really good. My approach is bang on and I don't know if I've ever had a harsh blow out yet. But I still don't go for closes. I'll get there, and my life and mindset are 1000% better just because I know I'm doing the work.

Both of you have to go out more often.

It hurts to say that, but it's the truth.

I don't see how "depressing yourself improves you later on". Just go and meet other girls, make new friends and you'll be fine. Don't listen to people marketing themselves to sell products or advice. Live your own life to the fullest. That's my opinion on the matter.

Desensitization. Shyness is manifest in an overactive "flight response". You go out to actively exorcise your "fight response", and to gain social reference for doing so.

And I do go out, often. very. I just haven't been doing it long considering just how far behind I'm coming from.

At first I wanted to skip over this post, and not respond to it. I actually got up
and went to the other room. But then I came back to write you a response,
because I feel I have the responsibility to pass on my knowledge about
what you said.

Trust me, I would rather not do this. Your life, your concern. But I feel it's
my responsibility to at least say this.

Let me start out this way:

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Couple of years ago, I started out in insurance business. As I went to the meetings
I sat there and listened to guys talk about how long it took them to achieve
"great" financial success.

They talked about their struggle, how they were suffering in having little income
or no income at all...how they went through all this hardship and effort
BEFORE they achieved success.

And I hold onto their story so hard - I started doing bad financially (although I was
never bad financially) because I thought this is what you gotta do - you gotta
go through little income.

I started getting depressed and living out the story of guys who told me
how they achieved success, because I though that was a part of success.

I think there is something in our head that when we hear a story of something
we want, we connect with it and we start thinking that this is how it's gotta be.

But then this weird thing happened:

Couple of months into this, a new guy came into the company, and in his first month
sold more and did better than the guys who talked about struggling for years.

I was frustrated - and kind of angry at myself for listening to anybody.

Long story short, what I learned from that experience was that other people story doesn't
equal your story.

Here's how I eventually succeeded:

I started observing what they were doing that was right, and I ignored their story of "struggle".

For example, they called clients every morning and set up meetings, so I copied them.

They did better presentations so i copied them.

They had more confidence with clients, so I copied that too.

In like couple of months I was making more money than some of the "struggle" people.

Fuck them and their story.

So here's my point:

You are NOT Tyler.

Tyler is a different person than you. He has a different past. The reason he was
depressed and it took him that long was because of his personal shit.

YOU are a different person. Your biochemistry is different, your mind is different,
your childhood and your childhood memories are different.

Everything about you is different.

And you don't have to live out his story, because you have your own story.

If struggle is necessary to get what you want, it will come in a form of frustration
while you really want to do something - and not because you think that's what
you need to do.

Your abilities and talents are probably much higher than those of Tyler, and if you
work on them and what you really want from your life, you will become like
Tyler - but through your own story.

I wrote about this in 2009 in the "How to Find Yourself" post, where I talked exactly about
what you're talking about here.

how-to-find-yourself-vt56353.html

What you're doing is bullshit and it will not lead you to where you want to be.

Go back to being you and being happy - that will lead you to where you want to be.

_________________
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in UNDER an hour (2022 updated)

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Depression is an illness. It isnt a lifestyle choice. It's like saying you need to have cancer to be able to write a good book.

If you're depressed then get SPAM and make lifestyle changes. Embracing depression will just fuck you up ling term.

Trust me, I had depression for about six months. Real depression, coming close to suicide depression. It's a fucking illness and one that can easily become terminal. It wont make you a better person any more than cancer or HIV will. It will just fuck you up more the longer it goes on.

Fix your depression before you do anything. Doesnt mean therapy or prozac, I never used any of that shit. Sort out your lifestyle. Black Phantom's advice is good. Be yourself, fix you. Emulating people at the top of their game is good training, obsessing is not. If you act out someone else's life then what have you got to offer anyone, yourself included?

Stuff like exercise, cognitive behavioural therapy and mindfulness have been proven to be incredibly good SPAM and you can do all of them yourself without spending a ton of money on therapists. Spend a couple if months doing that and you'll be investing far more in your future.

Fix all of life's bullshit THEN go out and meet girls? Fuck that. Walk up and talk to them, who cares, they'll be fine. It is good for you. Good for your mindset. Gives you great things to think about rather than feeling dumpy. Feeling better about yourself in general and being more confident about interacting with others. Collect some fucking smiles! That's good for depression too. And enduring the trauma with purpose makes you feel tough, and brave, because you are. And that's a first for a lot of people... or at least that they remember.

I would NEVER discourage someone from doing approaches. Being horrible at it is only a reason to do it more, not less. Approaches, as hard as they are, make for the best cure for depression imaginable. So what if a guy sucks at it?

I think we're saying the same thing. Take charge and go out and do some good shit for yourself.

The OP is talking about needing to go through depression to make him into someone else. What he needs to do is stop being depressed and be himself. Absolutely approaching can be part of that process but the key thing is to get out of the depression. Depression is an illness and it kills as dead as cancer. Fixating on becoming someone else is a symptom, not an ambition.

The biggest step you can take is realising you arent as shit as you believe. Becoming you again is a hell of a lot healthier than being someone else. That's kind of like saying to every woman you meet "I'm not good enough so I had to assume someone else's persona". Eventually the gig is going to be up. If you cant be you then where does it leave you.

A. You need to meditate (Control your thoughts, Isolate what's causing you the stress, Remove it from your life) Your health is number 1
B. Learn to Ignore negative thoughts and focus on the positive. This takes massive discipline, but it gets easier. I suffered with mild depression. It's like a constant voice in my head telling me what's wrong with me, my life, and everything in general while making it seem like there's nothing good in my life(It's a special type of hell).

C. See a therapist, they can do wonders if it gets to that point. They can also prescribe drugs that can actually be helpful.