Hey there guys. First time around. I've read a lot about gaming and I know a few tricks here and there.

I just went through a breakup in a relationship that was a little over 4 months. Basically, my ex girlfriend complained that I was cold sometimes and that she did not feel she was getting what she was contributing (which i thought was bs, but girls logic never ceases to amaze me). She texted me in the morning and left a long text about how much she cared about me and how much she loved me but that she thought i was not ready for a relationship and she had to end things with me. I did not try to argue with her through logic so i let it go. We texted back and forth and I told her that since she made her decision, it is what it is. I then told her if we could cut contact.

She went on a tantrum about me not caring at all about the relationship and that how could i just let it go like its nothing. She continued on about her wanting me but knowing we were not right for each other or some emotional bull like that, cant remember too well. Then she said "fine i wont contact you anymore". I replied to her that breaking up was her decision and that she did not want to be together anymore, and not to blame it on me for her decisions and she has not replied.

A few texts before this I decided to no contact her, which is why i said i wanted to cut off contact. But i replied about two more times to two of her texts and i dont know if that messed up the no contact but basically, after my last reply, the no contact began.

I will admit, i still do want her but i know there are other women out there. Its difficult to erase the feeling of things sucking right now, but Im not sure if maybe perhaps it was my fault that the relationship failed. Maybe i was cold sometimes and too secretive. That was her problem, she thought i was too secretive and cold sometimes, although i disagree with the cold part, As the relationship was very passionate. I dont think logic works with women.

Any tips guys? Should I keep this no contact? Did i really mess up and should i contact her?

an update: She posted a quote on instagram that to not think, breathe, obseess and have faith everything would work out for the best. So this is confirmation for me that the stressing is not one sided

Similar thing happened to me. When I think about it I refer back to this post by Rollo T.

http://therationalmale.com/2011/09/08/r ... h-garbage/

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The ultimate lesson of psychoanalysis is that human life is never "just life": we are possessed by the strange drive to enjoy life in excess, attached to a surplus which derails the ordinary run of things.
-Slavoj Zizek

A breakup can be the greatest thing to take your game to the next level.

Watch this. Helped me greatly.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=06UnHtD1ZbY

Did you enjoy spending time with her & what did you learn in your 4 months in dating her?

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If you want an amazing life, learn to be an amazing man.

Michael Van Marco

http://www.michaelvanmarco.com

I think this may be a common problem for guys in relationships. Once we got it, we feel like its mission accomplished, but it isn't over. Even if we still have feelings, we have a hard time expressing our feelings, so some women will start to think you've lost interest in her.

Anyway, don't let those rape counselors steer you wrong, when women say no, they really mean yes. (JK)

But really, women do use reverse psychology and it can throw us in for a loop. As you can see, OP failed. She pointed out the problems you needed to work on but you just didn't. You felt you didn't have to do anything since she initiated the break-up, but it may not have been a break-up at all. She just wanted to see if you cared and instead of showing her you do, you were cold.

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"You ain't accustomed of going through customs. You ain't been nowhere, huh?"

Shit test dude, she wanted you to tell how much you wanted her and to suck up to her i had a similar break up a few months back and she actually admitted thats all it was a few weeks later when she tried to get back together with me its all a head fuck if you want her back wait with no contact or at the very least friend banter 1-2 texts a week or a more effective method start seeing other girls you dont have to do anything with them just talking will work aslong as she knows that your happy and moving on she will make the first move and then the choice is yours to make

Yeah, it was definitely a test. And it may or may not have been your fault (that you guys have broken up) depending on the circumstances and dynamics of your relationship.

It depends on what you want. If you're willing to just let her go like that, it's probably better you leave it and move on. If, at the time, it was really hard on you but you went along with it to respect her decision (rather than just not caring) you should probably have a talk with her. None of that PUA hot/cold passive aggressive bullshit if you choose to talk, though. Just be honest and tell her how you feel/how you've been/what you want. And if you see her start playing games, tell her to stop rather than 'out playing' her.

when girls get mad at me because they think I don't like them its normally because they are right. Had a long girlfriend as a college student and she got all pissed because I wasn't showing a lot of interest. Its because I didn't give a shit I wanted to fuck lots of women. New girl is mad that I don't show enough interest because I don't give a shit. I give not two shits.

So maybe its because you really don't give a shit. Or if you really have been pulling your weight maybe she is just a girl who always wants more. Its most likely one of the two.

In my personal opinion I would reply with the same shit.

Glad you'd posted this.

I got out of the nastiest relationship of my entire 30+ years on this planet. 5 months later I'm still recovering...

Owen is dead on when he says wanting to go back to the relationship is like becoming unconscious again. He's invoking what he'd learned from Eckhart Tolle. Basically he's saying the ego the driving force to wanting to be back in a drama filled situation; the ego needs resistance to survive.