How do you deal with guys constantly hitting on your girlfriend when you're out? And how do you stop your girl from getting too emotional connected or interested in another person?


Let me first say that I am not in fear of losing this chick, this is for future reference and to help me understand and learn. Recently, I've been asking a bunch of dudes about what they do when Ryan Gosling & Orlando Bloom walk into the bar and start getting real flirty with your girl. Their responses (and others on this forum) have drawn me to believe the following two actions are best suited.

1. Be assertive and send the message to the dude / chick that you are NOT cool with what's going on and maintain a dominant / aggressive stance through body language or through direct conversation to make her feel protected, appreciated, loved or whatever else.

OR

2. Forget about the chick, let her have fun & do her thing with whoever, because truth is you could get another girl tomorrow or the day after and your attitude shows that, any other dude won't stand a chance.

I have my money on 2. but think 1 may be better for dealing with girls with daddy issues and attention seeking problems.

After reading Tomtom697's post (really enjoyed that post, thanks for those who contributed) about best friends trying to steal chicks, I think it's important to know how and when to act appropriately.

Cheers,
I want to know how you all act/feel.

Mellow

have you ever try just to be open sexually and join the fun and play on the befriending level.
Most of time that how to pull threesomes with your FwB or GF.
Come from a frame that every one can have a piece of the action.

Also Dominance is really over rated, if you really want to totally control someone, I suggest you experiment with drama at your own risk.
Basicly starting arguring with your girl about small thing and let all the negative emotion out on her and call her all sort of name then going into like a romantic vibe time to time.
That will make the girl become a psycho that is constantly obsess about you but a pain in the ass to deal with in long term.

Total control is not a fun thing to have. most of time it comes from a place of fear.

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Or maintain your frame and be sexually physical with your girl as if it doesn't matter who is or isn't around. That's probably the best way to handle it.

Honestly, it depends. I think option 2 is the pussy way out but that's just my opinion. It's like you've already given up. The whole idea of being the alpha is exercising that dominance and letting some tosser walk all over you by extension of your girl is nothing but disrespectful and a firm reflection on the kind of weak individual you actually are. Fuck abundance and being able to get another woman: Fact is a guy is or will steal your girl from under you and you're just going to move on like a pussy? It just says you're a pussy and not truly alpha.

Option 1 is the correct way to go but only if you have a strong frame to go about it and don't act phased regardless. Be dominant, sexual with your woman but don't be confrontational. Explicitly show, through physical interaction with your woman in public, that she's yours. Draw her in, get her hot and horny being with you and she won't look at another guy twice. The dude who wants your chick won't stand a chance and look like an idiot trying to hit on a chick who has a boyfriend who is extremely sexual with her. If you lose your cool, however you've just lost. This option requires you to be the dominant force in the relationship and be that way in general, or at least when you're out in clubs and what not. If you just randomly start acting that way it's going to be weird and alien and she will question your moves.

My stance is option 2 is for defeatists, aka pussies.

I have never really experienced anything like somebody is actually hitting on her intensively in front of me, but there were some questionable situations with her old friends and orbiters. If they have a weak status and she is okay with communicating/having fun with them, option 2 is okay imho.. But if the SPAM is more steamy and a guy is attacking her, what other guys posted is the way to go then.

Yea I agree with option 1. I'll just have to keep the vibe sexual when we go out and meet other people and keep cool. She just loves attention. Typical bad girl.

Man the more and more I hear from people on here the more I want to start talking to other women or maybe setting up threesomes. I'm 23 and never had one. What better time than now? Fuck man.

Option 3: CHOOSE a girl who respects you in the first place. Sorry, these kind of threads are typically like how do you protect your house if I have a shitty door lock? Answer, make sure your lock works in the first place. If you have a girl who would talk to a guy in front of you for attention...guess what...she will fuck a guy for attention.

The "she just likes attention so she flirts" thinking is just a way of deluding yourself (not directed to OP but in general) that she's faithful. It's ok for the majority of guys who hit on her, but when the guy comes along who doesn't give her that attention, she will have to work for it, and cheat.

Your girl should be turning down guys at the bar, you should not have to get involved unless it gets crazy.

3. Unwanted advances.

If you’re in a club with your steady girl and a dude grabs her ass then you have every right to drag him by the throat into an alley and proceed to kick his ass.

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Hey Mellow..


Bottom line is; a girl is only going to do what she thinks she can get away with doing. Girls are a lot more likely to cheat on a guy that she knows will stay even if she cheats, than a guy that she knows will be out the door.

Your standards and boundaries determine out the people around you are going to treat you; its just a feeling. You get into the best clubs when you look the part and act the part. When you expect to get in.

If my girl flirts with orlando bloom.. She's out at that moment. I won't even think twice about her. I'll grab another girl at the club; and if i can't then fuck it, I'll go home and get one tomorrow or the next day. But because this is my attitude and my girl and sense that; her odds of flirting with another guy are slim.

I've very loving and kind; but cold when I'm crossed.

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Thanks Ed,

That was a good response. I agree about giving off that vibe and knowing how to move on swiftly and not get too caught up in emotions. I was talking with a friend the other day and I said. "Even though I'm in this relationship dude, I would feel completely fine just leaving and moving on, maybe it's a self protection thing." Somewhere inside me I know it's important the second we're not completely happy with someone or start putting up with unnecessary bullshit, then it's time to move the fuck on.

Somebody recommended The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle to help deal with these situations and that has completely helped me dissolve my ego in situations like this, making me feel much more calm and collected. Brain food.

I was wondering about this. It actually happened once but I didn't wanted to get banned from the club. But later on I was thinking wtf I should have punched the cunt in the face.

But on the other hand again...if you walking thru the club with your chick and some guy randomly slaps your gfs ass, do you guys start a fight, get thrown out of the club and get your night ruined? Or...any other options lol?

Haha...I remember once a few years ago at 2am my gf at the time and I were walking down an MLK road. If you know anything about MLK's they're dangerous areas. Anyways, as we passed these 3 guys she spun around and cussed one. Turns out one grabbed her ass. My response? Kept walking lol.