Basically she is testing you because she thinks you're bluffing. You've taken her back so many times, she thinks this is another one of those times. She is trying to see if you will suggest meeting up or send her something needy back.

Stop talking and start doing. Your priority should be getting your own confidence back. What are your goals in life outside of pickup? Follow your goals and focus on improving yourself. I strongly recommend fucking a newer hotter girl first and then seeing if you still feel the same way about this girl.

You've got one-itis and I fear it will end badly for you since you are so intent on pursuing strict monogamy with an attention-seeking drama queen.

As good as I am in hijacking threads, here I go.
This is also relevant for this thread but I have some questions / insights regarding the quoted sentence

Here is the drill:

From what I have learned on this forum, I can say that it is true that you withhold the whole power when she is coming back to you on your terms, and that is a good thing. But is it?

I have also learned on here, that if you let her come back even once, you show that she is allowed to fuck up so far, that you break up with her, but you are weak enough to let her back in (read: no real punishment for her, she is welcome to do the same thing again). Apart from that, it shows that your word to her (GTFO/lets break up) is not a mans word as you kind of take it back later. Shows your weakness.

I know those were 2 extremes but how to balance between them? I am in relationship myself and so is one of my friends, who I have discussed it with - we both have problems with GF's not complying with the rules. So according to the second theory, we are helpless as it is not alpha to break up but mean it as a warning. If you are real/alpha/self-confident man, you will be 100% sure before doing so with no chance for her to go back. So either you keep up with problems in the relationship or you create some drama with breaking up and taking her back, where neither is good.

So from what I have learned is that if you have already lost the power, there is no easy/fast way to get it back. So the only thing you could have done is not letting your power go in the first place or breaking up for good and finding a better woman.

Hunter or Heywood, please give me some insight about this. Am I right about the break up-take back therefore being beta. I know I have kind if gone to extremes, but.. you get the idea

I'm a bastard, so I'm probably not the right person to ask. But in my experience the best way to take her back without being beta is to fuck one of her girlfriends during the "we're on a break" period and make sure she finds out about it 2nd or 3rd hand. Seemed to work for me thus far.

But I'd say more often than not, when I bail, I bail for good. I prefer the challenge of pursuing new girls, so unless an ex is particularly hot or particularly good at sucking cock, there's no need to keep stringing her along. Let her move on, so you can move on.

nice one.

But do you agree that taking her back is giving her a nasty little message, that you are welcome to fuck up again?

edit, sorry got confused with you and the OP

Not if you clearly fuck other women in between, no. If you don't fuck other women, then yes.

The most powerful emotions you can use against women who dick you around:
1) Jealousy
2) Fear of abandonment
3) No contact

You seem very attached to that girl. That's your weakness because she is the only woman in your life. For the good sake of your mind health I recommend you to look for other girls even if you want her! I understand it's not your thing to sleep with someone else. But try, you'll feel different and that girl will feel that and ironically she will smell it and get attracted to you. Don't even worry about getting caught, because you were not even supposed to be exclusive.
You have to remove her from your mind. If you really like her and you want her back.

Then I would suggest you go on the best strategy to get her back as a FWB.
Then you remove the "friend" part and basically you just fuck her when you want (text her, go to her place, cuddle after sex but then go away).
You do that, and then when she text you or whatever be cold and keep yourself busy. If she texts you that she wants to see you, say you can't. She needs to know that you are in charge, you are the leader; not her. She has sex whenever you will want it and decide it. Refusing a girl pussy is hard, but sometimes it is a risk to take to make her think about it, wonder, and then... she will feel like "in love" because you will be omnipresent in her mind.
She is driving you crazy, reverse that. She is a drama girl, give her some drama to make herself busy. She just wants to suffer to feel alive. Some girls are like this because they're bored.
Stop worrying about the other guy. She is bored, that's a distraction for her, a tamagoshi she texts to feed him with some brainsturbation and keep him around in case of boredness. Of course the guy wants to fuck her, we all have HB female friends and we all at some point want to fuck them. Just make sure you give her the best sex ever all the time, lead, be the man and you'll be fine to get her back.
Don't forget to be cold with her except in bed or if she do something for you (like a reward).
She really needs to think that bed is not enough for her and she wants you more in her boring life because you make it better. That's how she'll come to you saying "I'm not sure I want to be FWB anymore".
Another thing, I think the behavior she had with you while you "were" together is the behavior she indirectly expects you to have. She tried to show you the behavior you should have adopt. Replicate that in much stronger.

That was my POV I don't know if the other guys would agree or not. Good luck anyway either if you decide to get her back or get rid of her in your mind.

i'm no expert but this sounds like very solid advice and a trenchant analysis of the situation. thanks.

i know it sounds like i was just catering to this chick but honestly i played things perfectly outside of this one obstacle of the jealousy, however that in itself is a monumental fuck up. but i really controlled things the entire time and let her know i have plenty of options (i do) so she better not fuck up. that's why she's texting me two days after saying i should find someone else.

i've got another chick hitting me up i guess i'll work on her for a while so i can clear my head.

as far as the first girl goes, again i need more concrete help on when and what to text her after she just texted me that apology today... any ideas?

thanks everyone, helping me out big time

_________________
You must be overconfident and cocksure, even if you haven't got a god damn thing in the world going for you. And you must fail with women until you do not fear the possibility of failure, whereupon you will succeed wildly.

so basically just next this chick. don't reply whatsoever. fuck other girls. forget about her.

that makes sense from a certain perspective but you gotta realize it's getting old making progress with a chick and then having to start from ground zero time and again. i'd rather just train this chick as she has a lot of qualities i dig and she's right here coming back to me after i left her for not fucking me (at least that's what she thinks, since i have not brought up other dudes). i guess you can call that oneitis but it's also annoyance with the thought of having to find another chick i actually am interested in, see if we connect, game her, fuck her, do all this shit over and over ad nauseam. a bona fide pua gets a rush from that but to many guys it's just shit in the way of other projects (bit of a contradiction interestingly)

don't worry i have my eyes open at all times for a better prospect i'm just very picky and am not overly interested in fucking random hotties with no longterm potential at this stage in life.

i guess i'll just not text her for a while and talk to this other girl and see how i feel but seriously this is getting old... she might not be the most selfless woman but she can take d and she doesn't bore the fuck out of me or annoy me with her personality beyond these mixed signals which hopefully can be stamped out. seems a little hasty to throw all that away just because she didn't want to have sex and is not a great communicator (something she apparently seems willing to work on judging by that text)

_________________
You must be overconfident and cocksure, even if you haven't got a god damn thing in the world going for you. And you must fail with women until you do not fear the possibility of failure, whereupon you will succeed wildly.

ok i think i managed to salvage this and get us back to basically fuck buddies without communicating i have any interest in a ltr or any concern about other guys. i just framed the entire exclusivity issue around me not being comfortable sleeping w someone who is not exclusive for safety reasons and she bought it and quickly assured me i am the only one she's been sleeping with (/paranoia). she also said she didn't have commitment issues due to a fear of exclusivity but because she has been too dependent in past relationships and is not sure if she can handle it emotionally. i made sure to tell her we were nowhere near that kind of relationship at this point and i am just trying to keep us both safe sexually. she seemed very relieved.

hunter you are right. i made her run for the hills w relationship talk. from now on either she brings it up or we never discuss it again and i switch to someone else.

i am thinking i need to be a little more fun and sexual after going through this bs. don't want her associating me with squabbles and serious discussions. thoughts?

_________________
You must be overconfident and cocksure, even if you haven't got a god damn thing in the world going for you. And you must fail with women until you do not fear the possibility of failure, whereupon you will succeed wildly.