I can never open period



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 Post subject: I can never open period
PostPosted: Sat May 31, 2014 8:02 pm 
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I read some things about body language, but I am not sure if girls dont seem interested in me or if I am just not seeing the signals. Perhaps I am also not giving off proper body language. I go to malls or clubs just to stand around and look at people. Sometimes I see things that are very obvious about a girl being interested, but I still cant open.

For example the other day I was at a very crowded club. It was asian night and there were gorgeous asian girls everywhere. I dont have any friends so I was alone. I looked at this one gorgeous asian girl and she saw me, then she kinda turned to the side, and flicked her hair at me very much exposing her neck. She was with a friend, and she kinda seemed to be talking to her. I didnt want to interrupt. It just didnt seem opportune, and I didnt know what to say.

And thats what always happens actually, I never feel like I know what to say, even if I feel like a girl is very obviously calling me over.


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PostPosted: Sat May 31, 2014 11:57 pm 
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It's not uncommon for a girl to be at a club/bar with a friend or group of friends. I watched a lot of in-field game on YouTube. Some of the best things that helped me see what TO do and what NOT to do, was by watching seasons of Keys to the VIP. The commentators give you tips based off of what each person does, so on and so forth.

In 90% of those videos - each guy would solo open a set of 2-4 girls. All of which were talking to each other. It's just up to you to dominate the situation one way or another; otherwise you only let yourself down. Next time, what I'd suggest, is you go in for it anyways. You can do it with or without the kind gesture of "Hey, sorry to interrupt..." either which way, you're getting in there at this point. From the point of interrupting a girl who's already interested in what her and her friend(s) were talking about, you have minimal time to take her interest away. So whenever you're seeing the signs and feeling most confident (remember, the sooner the better,) get in there and say what you have to say!

Afraid that her friend may knock you down verbally? Turn her friend into the butt of the joke for a while. Take the blows, but deliver with impact in return. Show that you're dominating and that it doesn't matter what happens, you will walk away the winner. Just don't insult her friend or be rude... You got to maintain your composure and have fun with it; no matter how rough her friend gets.

Check out that show for a little bit and see how they do it. Believe me, it helps seeing in field game when you're unsure about ways to approach a set. It helped me quite a bit. Good luck to you!

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 01, 2014 6:22 am 
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Compliment the group, narrow into the girl, separate her, start gaming

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PostPosted: Sun Jun 01, 2014 8:10 am 
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Quote:
In 90% of those videos - each guy would solo open a set of 2-4 girls. All of which were talking to each other. It's just up to you to dominate the situation one way or another; otherwise you only let yourself down. Next time, what I'd suggest, is you go in for it anyways. You can do it with or without the kind gesture of "Hey, sorry to interrupt..." either which way, you're getting in there at this point. From the point of interrupting a girl who's already interested in what her and her friend(s) were talking about, you have minimal time to take her interest away. So whenever you're seeing the signs and feeling most confident (remember, the sooner the better,) get in there and say what you have to say!

Afraid that her friend may knock you down verbally? Turn her friend into the butt of the joke for a while. Take the blows, but deliver with impact in return. Show that you're dominating and that it doesn't matter what happens, you will walk away the winner. Just don't insult her friend or be rude... You got to maintain your composure and have fun with it; no matter how rough her friend gets.

Check out that show for a little bit and see how they do it. Believe me, it helps seeing in field game when you're unsure about ways to approach a set. It helped me quite a bit. Good luck to you!
I am waaay too inexperienced for any of that. I cant even open yet. But I will watch the videos, thank you. Are they on youtube?


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 01, 2014 9:52 am 
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You need to just go out and start trying to open the sets. 3 second rule. Count to three, and then immediately go to start trying to open the set. That's what I'm going to do. If you fuck up then you fuck up, but at least you took things a step further and started to talk.


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 01, 2014 9:58 am 
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I was in same problem before. I created confort in a way that my friends would met me with some chicks they know or even to random girl. Once they said "Hey X, this is my friend Sincord", there were no escape xD.


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PostPosted: Tue Jun 03, 2014 4:22 am 
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I think you should bring at least one friend with you. Or at least befriend someone at the venue so you arent the lone wolf stalking its prey so obviously.


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PostPosted: Wed Jun 04, 2014 11:01 pm 
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Open more socially with less intention. When you enter the club open the first person you see. The bouncer, the bartender, anyone. Just say hello. Do this with 'easy' targets first.

I would stop thinking of it as opening and just say hello to people who look like they want to talk. That pretty easy and can accomplish the same goals.

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 05, 2014 6:35 pm 
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Not with that attitude.
Just man up and do it.
Interrupt sets who gives a fuck

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PostPosted: Thu Jun 05, 2014 7:54 pm 
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Quote:
Interrupt sets who gives a fuck
EXACTLY! A cold approach is by it's definition an interruption. Having a kickass additude makes it a welcome interruption. Be an apologetic pussy makes it unwelcome. Simple as that.


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 19, 2014 4:27 am 
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You're waiting for a "perfect opportunity" and honestly, it's NEVER going to happen.

Just GET THE FUCK IN THERE and figure it out as you go.


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 19, 2014 7:59 am 
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Dude... All the advice here is reduces to having to approach until it becomes fun. And it will. KNOW that it will get to be like that and keep that in mind. I was a fuck'n shut in, pal. Approaches will change your brain. Trust me.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 20, 2014 1:08 am 
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you guys seem crazy to me I HATE the idea of opening. I can barely tolerate being in close proximity with a girl I wanna talk to, it already feels too obvious. And isint it? dont girls know the only reason I wanna talk to em is cause I wanna bang em?

I dont know if I can do this. I dont even have any friends or anyone to do this with. I dont even have anything to say except "hi." and I really hate how some of you think I should just dive in and deal with the consequences either you dont know what you are saying or you just want me to humiliate myself.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 20, 2014 1:47 am 
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you guys seem crazy to me I HATE the idea of opening. I can barely tolerate being in close proximity with a girl I wanna talk to, it already feels too obvious. And isint it? dont girls know the only reason I wanna talk to em is cause I wanna bang em?
It is clear that you don't understand where I came from. I would go weeks and weeks without a single conversation because I was so scared of people generally.

It's an over active "flight" response man, that's all. Earlier in life your brain realized that if you run from girls or do nothing, you don't get hurt. So you see them as a threat to be avoided. The idea you need to drive home in your intellectual brain is that your emotional brain is wrong. You need to KNOW that girls can't hurt you. You will not die if you talk to them. So feel scared, and do it anyway. As much as you can, and if it's hardly at all for now, then so what? Don't beat yourself up, and every time you say hi or even a few words be proud. It is easy for some people... those are the people who always did it. If you do it, it becomes easy and fun for you. It's science, man. You can change how you feel. Think of that feeling you get when you see a girl you like as "excitement", not "fear" or "anxiety".

The fear you have is just like the fear we feel watching a horror movie, or riding a rollercoaster. You are safe, but your brain is divided on the matter. That "cognitive dissonance" is why there are people who like scary movies, scary rides... why there are adrenaline junkies.

So, in short... you are going to be scared. That's ok... kinda the idea. That's when you need to do it because you gain experience and positive rewards for conquering a fear. Think of it this way... you may be a pussy now, but in no time flat you can have bigger balls that any average guy and you'll be 10 times as awesome because you had to work for it. You will see progress FAST man... I swear to you. If you are that scared then things will change quickly.

And yes, girls know if you just want to bang them, so hows about you dial it back a little to just wanting to talk to them. If you are thinking about fucking them, that is WAY ahead of yourself. But they like that you think they are pretty and like to talk to them. Just tell them, "hey, I'm just chatting you up". Shrug and don't fuck'n move! Hot girls are used to guys getting nervous, the fact that you approach, is respectable.

Just walk around saying "hi" to girls all day. Then at the end of the day you can think to yourself that "shit... I said hi to like 20 girls today! I guess I'm not really scared of that." You are scared because you are thinking ahead of yourself.

The first time I consciously did a "daygame" approach was at a starbucks. My hands didn't stop shaking for 20 minutes afterwards... but I felt like king of the world! Girls were and still are my greatest fear, and everytime I go a little bit farther, stay in set a little bit longer, I feel like a total boss. You are tough, you are courageous just because it is so so very hard for guys like us. And in no time flat you'll seem like the bravest guy to everyone who knows you, and you can be proud of yourself.

Focus on yourself and where you are going as personal development. Forget goals... progress is the only goal.


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 20, 2014 1:55 am 
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Quote:
I read some things about body language, but I am not sure if girls dont seem interested in me or if I am just not seeing the signals. Perhaps I am also not giving off proper body language. I go to malls or clubs just to stand around and look at people. Sometimes I see things that are very obvious about a girl being interested, but I still cant open.

For example the other day I was at a very crowded club. It was asian night and there were gorgeous asian girls everywhere. I dont have any friends so I was alone. I looked at this one gorgeous asian girl and she saw me, then she kinda turned to the side, and flicked her hair at me very much exposing her neck. She was with a friend, and she kinda seemed to be talking to her. I didnt want to interrupt. It just didnt seem opportune, and I didnt know what to say.

And thats what always happens actually, I never feel like I know what to say, even if I feel like a girl is very obviously calling me over.
Lol just say "what are you guys talking about? looks like a serious discussion about cats". This opener is probably shit but if u can follow up properly then it can work "idk, its probably cuz u both look kinda like crazy cat ladies".
Look i had to do this for about 2 months to completely get rid of AA, but i only do daygame. Once i got rid of AA it got so easy i started doing pick up everywhere i went.


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