So, the thing is that for the last 10 years or so I've had HUGE anxiety about sex. Learning game was so that I could create opportunities to work my way through it. Well... that part of the project is successful, but I'm still not picking the fruit. At this point it is far beyond something I'm embarrassed about. I'm basically a sexual cripple, and no one with any sense would mock a man in a wheel chair. I chicken out every fuck'n time.
It was so bad that less than a year ago I was sure I'd never even hold a hand again. Now I'm throwing away pussy the likes of which would make most PUA veterans marvel. I did 92 days of straight nightgame in order to calibrate, but mainly it has just allowed me to see all the places I have and do run from what I want. I gather flocks, and know full well when I can point my finger and take the hottest girl home... as in most nights, most places I go. It is freakish, and I know a lot of it is due to my lack of outcome dependency. I know I'm not fucking anyone, so I just have the most fun and open lots. But when I get the exact reaction I'm supposed to be looking for I generally get nervous and walk off. I'm a frustration to myself and all these great girls that simply don't understand what just happened.
I can't just fuck an ugly chick in order to get my mojo back. Firstly, I just won't be into it. They can tell. Secondly, I know what I can get... turbo hotties 15 years my junior, routinely. I want girls that are gorgeous and confident and experienced at sex... but they obviously expect the same confidence in bed that they see when I'm walking around, being social, breaking the seal on the dance floor which promptly fills up with a dozen girls orbiting me in groups.... plus a couple chodes standing in between me and their dates. Staggering... which makes it all the more depressing. I don't expect you all to believe it, but it turns out I had all the gifts of a natural only with some crossed wires that stopped me from seeing it and acting on it.
Guys... girls... I need help. I'm hurting. I'm trying, and I feel lost. Before game I didn't mingle or talk to anyone... solved. At least good enough to get all the sex I could want... if I only took it.
How do I build my own comfort in the same way we are supposed to build it for the girl?
What would the baby steps be? Silly question, but when you go home with a girl is intercourse expected? How normal would it be for me to just do the other things I'm more comfortable with when I'm with a girl? I basically just have profound acute performance anxiety related to intercourse, and even more specifically to the use of a condom (which I don't want to do without for hookups). Basically I just had a string of LTRs when I was younger. Not much help for this. I don't really know what normal hot girls expect when you hit the sheets. I'm still retarded.
All of the material related to performance anxiety or sexual confidence is related to working it out with a partner. But I don't have and can't get one until I have at least a little confidence, or was at least confident that I wouldn't feel pressure that would take the joy away from me and then obviously the girl.
I'm fucked... metaphorically.
Input. Please. Just don't tell me it's not a big deal...
CHAT