This what last nigh a french girl told me. We know for about a week from a social circle and keep the things superficial, funny and playful, but she told me there is something that makes her not trust me.

And this happens occasionally with some other women too, some even I know for years and our relationship is still the same - playful C&F (from both sides) and kind of superficial.

I should stress on comfort building more I suppose. If I just switch into more friendly mode it will come accross as I do it on purpose, or is it like that ?

What are some other ways women (and ppl in general to trust you more) ?

I keep my integrity in most cases and hold on my word with friends, but with new women i just don't want to do it initially. I know from experience starting out being too nice and open with them is not good strategy.

But beeing on the funny, teasing edge seems like not going anywhere neither...

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"Tell the world what you intend to do, but first show it."

You're going to need to bring more context with this question. But generally if a woman doesn't trust you it's because you're giving her vibes that make her think you're a rapist. Here's a good guide on how to be less creepy.

http://www.wikihow.com/Not-Be-Creepy

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The ultimate lesson of psychoanalysis is that human life is never "just life": we are possessed by the strange drive to enjoy life in excess, attached to a surplus which derails the ordinary run of things.
-Slavoj Zizek

Women are VERY observant creatures. If she doesn't trust something about you, then tehre's something about you not to trust.

9 times out of 10, when she's subconciously sensing is an incongruency. Something about the way you behave around her is incongruent with who she feels you actually are as a person.

A good way to build trust is to openly share some weaknesses or character flaws. We don't trust people who pretend to be perfect.

If you are really consistently stumped, put a voice recorder on yourself next time you're talking to one of these girls and listen to the interaction afterwards. You'll cringe, but you'll also likely find what she's talking about.

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Damien D
Head Coach - The School of Attraction
The School of Attraction

I don't think that i'm creepy. Usually most of the time I am direct and speak what is on my mind. (which in some cases maybe is not that good)

I met all of those girls via social circle (in which social circle I'm well approved - I suppose my male friends enjoy my company).

Anyway thanks for the website i'll look through it.

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"Tell the world what you intend to do, but first show it."

I think this might be the case. I haven't done this in most of my interactions with women, and yes I admit sometimes I maybe try to show off how "good" at many things am I. I'll be aware of this further down.

But what is the best way now to introduce some flaw or weakness of me? It will be kind of weird just going to her and saying: "You know what I think I have to tell you for some of my weaknesses"

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"Tell the world what you intend to do, but first show it."

Pretty compliment her and then just say something like you are very beautiful then say I don't know why you are with me because of... enter flaw here. I mean not sure this will work 100% of the time but hey it has worked for me.

I'm not sure if I like that so much.. Then it sounds like you don't hold yourself in high esteem, and we still want people who hold themselves high. Heck Ive had girls say similar to me, and I instantly lose some interest in them. I mean they don't call me pretty, but they say 'wow you do x, and your life is y, don't know why you like me with z flaws'. It's instantly a bit of a attraction killer.. not completely but it does detract some.

So the key is to put your flaws out there, but own them at the same time. Don't be like 'oh poor me flaw x, and flaw y, life is hard on me'. You want to be like 'yeah flaw x, It's something im continuously working on, we try our best to be perfect but heck, who is'

e.g. I'm talking to a girl about the friends she is out with that night. I say to her "That's really awesome that you have such close connection to your friends. I have absolutely amazing friends, but I'm really struggling to balance friends and work right now.. I find that I'm so focussed on trying to build a career for myself that I've completely ignored my friends a lot, and I feel really guilty because they stick in there being my friend and I'm giving them nothing back. I don't mean to be selfish, but its' tricky sometimes you know' (real thing I would say because that's a real thing for me right now).

OR

A student I have currently, always comes accross as a bit cocky and is struggling to reign it in, so what he says to girls at about the 5 minute mark is.. "You know, I gotta tell you something, I have this thing where if I feel nervous or insecure then my way of dealing with it is to become cocky and even arrogant, and Im actually trying to let go of it because the last thing I ever want to seem is insencere, especially in moments like this. So my apologies if I've come across at all like that" In that moment, you see the girl suddenly look at him differently (in a good way) because she had assumed he was just another really cocky guy, then suddenly he became 'real' with her.

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Damien D
Head Coach - The School of Attraction
The School of Attraction

That rings kind of close to my own case. Its just that I already passed way more than the 1st 5 minutes.

Actually how further in the interaction should you introduce that mode of communication ?

I suppose starting with a bit cockiness (or C&F) and then switching into something sincere like this is OK, isn't it ?

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"Tell the world what you intend to do, but first show it."

Yeah playful cockiness is always good, and definitely should be a part of what you do.

But at some point in the first 15 minutes, you also have to make clear that you are 'real', and that you aren't really stuck up. If I were you though I'd try to do it in under 10 minutes. OR if you notice you went too hot too quickly with the cocky stuff, then bring it out earlier than that as a form of recovery from over cooking it.

Cocky and Funny is another descriptor for 'teasing'. Just be careful as thinking about and trying to be cocky can sometimes just make you look like a cock if it isn't calibrated well. And maybe it's just a matter of practice to hit the right notes.

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Damien D
Head Coach - The School of Attraction
The School of Attraction

Yea... calibration e.g. timing is very important.

I stress on C&F because i don't want to look like all the other guys doing compliments and kiss assing, but perhaps sometimes they have better time connecting.

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"Tell the world what you intend to do, but first show it."

The trouble with you assholes is that you are so busy pretending to be someone that you're not and giving off really shitty vibes that you're a big, fucking fake. That's why girls don't trust you stupid morons. Get a clue.

o really. you know it from your own experience, don't you.

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"Tell the world what you intend to do, but first show it."

the art of persona

Just last night a buddy of mine and myself were having some drinks at a very busy bar. This bar is known for bringing out the summer time hotties and new faces all of the time. Before I even showed up, he was already talking to a girl. Nothing special or too impressive, but she was cute to say the least.

Throughout the time I spent with them, she said several things that lead to her not trusting my friend. Remember, they just met. So usually... This is a bad sign.

Girl: "I don't trust a man who can dance"
Buddy (with nothing to lose on this one): "Good thing I can break it down then." (starts dancing)
Girl: "Ok, so it looks like I just can't trust you, huh?"
Buddy: "I wouldn't trust me either. I'm wearing a blue shirt, my hair is spiked up, I have a tan and I can dance. I'm just not trustworthy!"

All with a smile on his face and having fun. By this time, she has invited us out to another bar down the street where her friends work. We share some drinks there, meet up with her friends, but proceed to head back to the bar we came from where it was busier and had more potential. Like I said... She wasn't the first on the bucket list, but she took the bait right from the start. My buddy and myself started turning anything negative she had to say or think, into a joke that was against ourselves. Now that them two have hit it off - I did my usual keeping it friendly and playful. Things like "don't worry, I have a small dick. So even if I did hit on you and got you interested in coming home with me, you wouldn't call me back anyways. You should go with him tonight" and we shared a laugh. Next thing you know, they take off. He texts me in the morning letting me know that he successfully got laid last night.

My point here: There's benefits to acknowledging your potential flaws, and laughing about them. Letting them laugh too and turning it around to be something it probably wouldn't have been if they didn't find you funny.

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http://www.playerscardpua.com I will be taking the "best of" advice, from my opinion, and tested myself, and throwing it all together in a website for YOU! Open-discussion soon!

nice insight

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"Tell the world what you intend to do, but first show it."