Harsh Blowouts in daygame



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PostPosted: Thu May 22, 2014 3:16 am 
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Most people say daygame is less harsh compared to night game and girls won't insult you. Recently I have been scared of daygame because of this exact reason. Some of the girls i approach will tell me to shut up, ignore me and walk right by me, or even tell me straight to my face that they don't want to talk to me.

I think it might be my approach but i have noticed that only south asian girls do this?

I use simple indirect - direct openers like "i seriously like the color of ur hair". And right when i say that they would look past me and give me the hand.

I think its my body language but at school girls are always giving me looks so i'm not sure if that's that problem. I walk slow and I hold eye contact when I talk.


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PostPosted: Thu May 22, 2014 6:21 am 
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My impression of day game (having approaching people days and nights for the last two weeks) is that people are less interested in investing time in you. They're always on their way, or busy with something. They don't want to stick around and talk to some random stranger answering opener questions.

In club game it's been easier because then people are in the right state of mind. Of course, that's no excuse to drop day game and not become good at both.


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PostPosted: Thu May 22, 2014 7:15 am 
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If you cant handle rejection. game is not for you.
How you move past and overcome obstacles are a massive part of learning and progressing.
Things like girls saying "shutup", or ignore... you are really upset by this? you are still alive arent you?
You will always face adversity, man up, deal with it or you will never get better
.


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PostPosted: Thu May 22, 2014 10:35 pm 
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lol ye im a 96 baby but thanks for the replies. Is there any opener or approach that might help with this or should i continue with compliments about their clothes or their hair but not saying that they are cute? Or should i go extremely direct and just say that they look gorgeous or whatever?


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PostPosted: Thu May 22, 2014 10:37 pm 
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Quote:
If you cant handle rejection. game is not for you.
How you move past and overcome obstacles are a massive part of learning and progressing.
Things like girls saying "shutup", or ignore... you are really upset by this? you are still alive arent you?
You will always face adversity, man up, deal with it or you will never get better
.
I dont need motivation btw
its just it gets really boring and turns into a chore if this keeps happening.
I have thought about approaching on a bus but the fear of a blowout and the awkwardness after it gets to me.


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PostPosted: Fri May 23, 2014 9:03 am 
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Quote:
Quote:
If you cant handle rejection. game is not for you.
How you move past and overcome obstacles are a massive part of learning and progressing.
Things like girls saying "shutup", or ignore... you are really upset by this? you are still alive arent you?
You will always face adversity, man up, deal with it or you will never get better
.
I dont need motivation btw
its just it gets really boring and turns into a chore if this keeps happening.
I have thought about approaching on a bus but the fear of a blowout and the awkwardness after it gets to me.
that sounds exactly the opposite of motivation. if it's boring/like a chore, does not seem you want it badly enough.


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PostPosted: Fri May 23, 2014 9:05 am 
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My daygame opener is pointing and saying "what's your name?". I never get harshly blown out, so I think the issue is body language.

Try coming in strong, then stepping back with your hand up a bit, palms facing them as though you worry you might have scared them (even if you didn't, act like you are reacting to them and stepping back) just to show you are non-threatening and immediately concerned with their comfort. The goal is not to look like you are scared of scaring them, but that you like them and you are being bold, not aggressive. Do all this while just talking, don't say anything calling attention to your body language. I think that makes it seem that being calm and considerate and non-crazy is regular behavior for you.


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PostPosted: Fri May 23, 2014 1:49 pm 
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Quote:
Most people say daygame is less harsh compared to night game and girls won't insult you. Recently I have been scared of daygame because of this exact reason. Some of the girls i approach will tell me to shut up, ignore me and walk right by me, or even tell me straight to my face that they don't want to talk to me.

I think it might be my approach but i have noticed that only south asian girls do this?

I use simple indirect - direct openers like "i seriously like the color of ur hair". And right when i say that they would look past me and give me the hand.

I think its my body language but at school girls are always giving me looks so i'm not sure if that's that problem. I walk slow and I hold eye contact when I talk.
A lot of girls think a random stranger approaching them during the day is creepy. This is why I have generally advised that you use indirect approaches during day game.

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PostPosted: Fri May 23, 2014 2:53 pm 
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A lot of girls think a random stranger approaching them during the day is creepy. This is why I have generally advised that you use indirect approaches during day game.
This is complete BS. You are wasting so much time going indirect.

Girls only think it's creepy if they are not attracted to you.

Girls + Attracted guy = Cute/Charming
Girls + Unattractive guy = creep


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PostPosted: Fri May 23, 2014 8:40 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:

A lot of girls think a random stranger approaching them during the day is creepy. This is why I have generally advised that you use indirect approaches during day game.
This is complete BS. You are wasting so much time going indirect.

Girls only think it's creepy if they are not attracted to you.

Girls + Attracted guy = Cute/Charming
Girls + Unattractive guy = creep
then how should i become the attractive guy? I already workout and dress nice and my hair is done nicely.


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PostPosted: Sat May 24, 2014 12:18 am 
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OP, did you even read what I wrote ? Forget the derailment of the thread on the merits of direct or indirect, has nothing to do with you. From what you've shared your openers are weak and leave little room for transitioning into mid-game.
Quote:
then how should i become the attractive guy? I already workout and dress nice and my hair is done nicely.
Being an attractive guy is different from being an attractive woman.
ye i did so i just continue to practice and find out what works? could you recommend an that opener you use? and i have another question; could you transition by talking about something that you were doing or something that happened earlier on in the day?


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PostPosted: Sun May 25, 2014 7:40 am 
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Quote:
Quote:
OP, did you even read what I wrote ? Forget the derailment of the thread on the merits of direct or indirect, has nothing to do with you. From what you've shared your openers are weak and leave little room for transitioning into mid-game.
Quote:
then how should i become the attractive guy? I already workout and dress nice and my hair is done nicely.
Being an attractive guy is different from being an attractive woman.
ye i did so i just continue to practice and find out what works? could you recommend an that opener you use? and i have another question; could you transition by talking about something that you were doing or something that happened earlier on in the day?
Firstly... ask her what she was doing earlier in the day. Don't interrupt the course of her day to talk about yourself, just don't. She is the entire point of the interaction.

How's about some more general conversation tips.

1. A girl will always tell you what she wants to talk about. Just listen. Anytime she mentions something, then the next words out of your mouth should be a question about that thing. Just ask a few stupid chit chat questions "Where you from?" "Where do you go to school?" etc. and when she answers use her answer to form a comment or a question about it... ideally a funny comment followed by a question. If, or rather WHEN you run out of things to say, just go back to something she said earlier. Calm down, and listen.

2. Openers don't mean anything, it is your energy and that alone that matters. I usually elicit an "approach tell" (see later) and go right for "What's your name?" because it is bold.

3. You will simply NEVER have a harsh reaction from someone who shows an "Approach tell". That is a reflex action that a girl doesn't realize until she's done it. Just look at her, maybe smile yourself, and if her lizard brain likes you it will tell her face to smile. If you react instantly to that smile, no hesitation, then when you start moving she will know it is because she just told you it was ok. It's hardwired primate behavior. She will be at least polite every single time. Practice with a lot of people... You don't even have to approach to start to see this for what it is. Sit with lots of people going by and practice looking at them. If you aren't getting tells from the girls you would want to then look for the problem in your appearance; likely expression, or body language. Some girls will look at you and not smile. This is when their lizard brain likes you but it is inappropriate to approach (eg. BF in the environment). You will also see these same girls look sad when you are looking at each other. :'( lol

4. Think of the girl as a bug in a jar. She is totally harmless to you. Look at her inquisitively and calmly because you are curious and fascinated. You'll let her out of the jar when you feel like it... like when she starts asking you questions.

5. She knows why you are there. It's ok. It's great. Relax about it. When I run out of stuff to say I even mention running out of stuff to say, it's funny. Say you are a bit nervous talking to a pretty girl. No big deal. She understands, and will think it's sweet because you mention being a bit nervous while simultaneously walking up and showing yourself to be likely the ballsiest dude she ever met. Just rock it, boss. Take a breath, let her suffer for through a couple seconds of silence and then ask the biggest non-sequitur you can think of ("So... you like chicken? whatever... who cares? Doesn't matter what you talk about anyway" (because she knows why you are there!!! and she is fine with it if you are).


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PostPosted: Sun May 25, 2014 4:44 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
OP, did you even read what I wrote ? Forget the derailment of the thread on the merits of direct or indirect, has nothing to do with you. From what you've shared your openers are weak and leave little room for transitioning into mid-game.

Being an attractive guy is different from being an attractive woman.
Firstly... ask her what she was doing earlier in the day. Don't interrupt the course of her day to talk about yourself, just don't. She is the entire point of the interaction.

How's about some more general conversation tips.

1. A girl will always tell you what she wants to talk about. Just listen. Anytime she mentions something, then the next words out of your mouth should be a question about that thing. Just ask a few stupid chit chat questions "Where you from?" "Where do you go to school?" etc. and when she answers use her answer to form a comment or a question about it... ideally a funny comment followed by a question. If, or rather WHEN you run out of things to say, just go back to something she said earlier. Calm down, and listen.

2. Openers don't mean anything, it is your energy and that alone that matters. I usually elicit an "approach tell" (see later) and go right for "What's your name?" because it is bold.

3. You will simply NEVER have a harsh reaction from someone who shows an "Approach tell". That is a reflex action that a girl doesn't realize until she's done it. Just look at her, maybe smile yourself, and if her lizard brain likes you it will tell her face to smile. If you react instantly to that smile, no hesitation, then when you start moving she will know it is because she just told you it was ok. It's hardwired primate behavior. She will be at least polite every single time. Practice with a lot of people... You don't even have to approach to start to see this for what it is. Sit with lots of people going by and practice looking at them. If you aren't getting tells from the girls you would want to then look for the problem in your appearance; likely expression, or body language. Some girls will look at you and not smile. This is when their lizard brain likes you but it is inappropriate to approach (eg. BF in the environment). You will also see these same girls look sad when you are looking at each other. :'( lol

4. Think of the girl as a bug in a jar. She is totally harmless to you. Look at her inquisitively and calmly because you are curious and fascinated. You'll let her out of the jar when you feel like it... like when she starts asking you questions.

5. She knows why you are there. It's ok. It's great. Relax about it. When I run out of stuff to say I even mention running out of stuff to say, it's funny. Say you are a bit nervous talking to a pretty girl. No big deal. She understands, and will think it's sweet because you mention being a bit nervous while simultaneously walking up and showing yourself to be likely the ballsiest dude she ever met. Just rock it, boss. Take a breath, let her suffer for through a couple seconds of silence and then ask the biggest non-sequitur you can think of ("So... you like chicken? whatever... who cares? Doesn't matter what you talk about anyway" (because she knows why you are there!!! and she is fine with it if you are).
Probably the best advice i received here. But im afraid of going into interview mode so i talk a little bit about what was going on or i relate on what she was saying.

I do get quite a lot of looks but it's probably because i look up and look for eye contact sometimes but they never smile; literally never have I gotten a smile. Once a girl opened me but she never smiled before so i guess its nothing to worry about.

The chicken thing requires balls. I have thought of doing it but it seems so random.


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PostPosted: Sun May 25, 2014 6:56 pm 
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Hey, thanks. I'm still really new at pua, but I try.

Interview mode is when you ask the questions but don't move with answers. Calm down and listen. Sounds easier than it is. I use cold approach to retrainy brain out of crippling social anxiety, I KNOW it is hard, but that's what makes it awesome and you couragous just for doing it.

As for the chicken thing, you'll find it actually makes easier. Remember, if it's done right, girl love to be chatted up. Just say that's what you are doing, she'll smile and say ""oh, no worries, it's fine" because she already knew that. And if you are honest that is sexy and confident. You have nothing to hide and you aren't trying to trick her or something.

So when you go quiet, just say, "hey, this is hard, help me out here!... You like chicken?"

Try looking at girls, show a bit of a smile and a little surprise in your eyes. Work on it. And don't plan on appoaching so that all those other thoughts don't mess with your experiment.


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PostPosted: Sun May 25, 2014 9:25 pm 
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So guys, good news, i have no more blowouts; maybe like one in a million. Bad news is i'm starting to blank out. I can't come up with things on the spot too well. I can have some sort of a conversation but i want to get past the typical where are you from, whats your name type bs.


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