I'm starting a resource here to help guys who might have trouble reading coded language that girls use, and what it means.

I'm going to start with a few terms, and if the rest of you guys want to add more, that'd be great.


Here we go:


"I'm really busy this week"

This can be deceptive, because the girl MIGHT actually be busy, but usually this means, "I am not attracted to you", or "I have lost interest/you haven't built up enough interest in me for me to want to invest the time into you."


"We're going to the bathroom."

Said at a bar or club (though it could be elsewhere) when a girl is done with the interaction. She's bored or you didn't escalate properly, or her friend doesn't like you.

"Buy me a drink."

This is just a request for free alcohol by a girl. Complying with it will almost definitely make her put you on her "do not have sex with" list.

You can sometimes get away with this for a 21st birthday. But I'd err on the side of caution.

Responses to this are: either say no, ask the girl why she's so special (she'll need to qualify herself - still don't buy her the drink), or, best yet, ask her to buy you a drink.

"Who is this? I lost my phone/Got a new phone"

She didn't save your number, or she deleted it. You might be able to recover this lead, if you think fast and are funny.

I've found that when the girls figures out who you are again, demanding/ordering that she not forget/delete your number can sometimes work.

"I have a boyfriend"

I am not sexually attracted to you and how you've behaved. Please go away. Usually it's best to just leave at this point, but you can occasionally recover this.

This can be legitimate - typically when this is touted out very early in the interaction it is not, whereas after you've built rapport and she seems into you, it is a legitimate issue.

At that point it's up to you to decide if you want to try to proceed or not. Remember, most girls who are younger than 25-27, and who have been dating their boyfriends less than a year are not that attached to them, and are quite fine with an "upgrade". Act accordingly.

"Something came up, I can't hang out"

Similar to, "I'm busy this week" - this is the "I'm busy this week" when you've actually made plans with the girl. She decided she wasn't sufficiently interested/invested to meet with you. This will frequently happen when you let her "buying temperature" get too low after making plans, or she saw you as a backup in case she was bored.

"You're such a nice guy"

You're not sexually attractive, and I can't ever see myself fucking you. I don't want to be totally rude, and you're not a terrible person, so I'll tell you you're nice.

See also "I see you more as a friend"

"I see you more as a friend"

I don't really see you as a man. You're just not a real man to me, and I can't ever see you ever becoming one.

"I love you, but I'm not in love with you"

You don't turn me on. I care about you (a little bit), but I don't want to fuck you. Ever.

See also "I see you more as a friend"

"I really wish I could meet a great guy"

If this is said while she's looking directly into your eyes, she wants you to man up, start touching her and flirting with her.

This can also be used by a girl who is using you as an emotional tampon - so be careful here. If she keeps fucking rando's who drop her and runs back to you for emotional support, it does -not- probably mean the above.

"You're clingy"

I think you're a total bitch. Please start to be a man. Stop talking to me about your feelings, or having long conversations about "us". I don't give a fuck about "us" because my attraction to you has just about died because you're a pussy.

This is usually said within the contexts of an LTR.

"I'm not ready for a relationship"

See also "You're such a nice guy"


"I don't think we're compatible"

This can mean two different things depending on context.

If she says it after you've expressed general interest in her, it means:

I am not sexually attracted to you.


The other time is if you exhibit a behavior pattern she absolutely does not see you being willing to change/her willing to adapt to. For example, some girls who are into "monogamy first" sexual relations will say this if you pretty much express that you intend on sex before any commitment.

"I'm bored"

Ask me out.

This can also mean, "I'm horny"


"I was just talking about you today!"

This one can be legitimate, but usually it means, "I haven't talked about you at all lately, but I want you to know I'm at least a little bit interested still - talk to me more!"

I have a boyfriend does not mean that rofl.... There are two uses for that

1. She perceives you as a sexual threat.
2. She does not want to look like a slut but you overtly say something that would make her seem slutty in front of her friends.

All of these are so true.
-Lindsay

Eh, sorta yes on #1 - girls will typically use "I have a boyfriend" more when they feel you're likely to make a move/attempt to get in their pants - so in that sense, for someone beginning pickup, this should actually be taken as a good sign. It means your intentions are being made known.

But it is still a rejection. Can it be overcome? Possibly, at that point, usually you've lost. At that point, whether a particular guy should still interact with that girl is dependent on how many other options he has, and what he's trying to work out to improve in his game.


On #2, I could see that as a time it's used. In my experience that's not the primary use of it, but I'll test that hypothesis out to see if I can get a result like that next time I'm out and experimental.

All I know is that chicks never say anything... they always say something else instead! lol