I am a little bummed out here, i have been in pickup for nearly a year now, i had my ups and downs, but i have a feeling i have not rely progressed that much, i am still a virgin like i used to be, i had not rely K-closed or closed any girl at all as a matter of fact, i never even had a very successful kino. I went out far less then i might have wanted to, only like once a month or even only once in 2 months(ideally i wanted 2 times a weak as a start) and i still haven't got over my fear of going out alone. To top it all off it seems like things went downhill lately, my small social circle i barely managed to build fell apart, i had a relapse of AA and some of my former bad patterns started to reassert themselves. All the while i still live in the environment that seems content on pushing me back into my proper beta place. And on the other hand i read about guys on forum that get their first lay within 2 weeks from getting into PUA. Do not get me wrong i do not have a slightest intention of giving up, i know that sooner or later i would have to start over, no way around that, but how long do guys on average take to build themselves up, and are things i experience just regular bumps on the road or am i doing something wrong?

Hey dude, I feel your pain.

As a coach who coaches guys for 12 weeks at a time, I'll be really up front with you and say that some guys pick it up super quickly while others just take time. A lot of it has to do with the life experiences you already have before you learn pickup. Guy A may already have a keenly developed wit from his childood friend group that will do wonders when it comes to teasing girls (even if he has no prior experience with girls), while guy b doesn't for example so that's yet another skill he has to work on.

BUT it shouldn't be taking you a year to get any results. So I really admire your persistence.

Practicing isn't just hours put in though. Think about driving cars. At 31 years old, I've driven MANY MANY hours. But that doesn't mean you can put me on a racetrack and I'll be a killer driver... 21year old F1 drivers will kick my ass. The reason is, that even though I've driven many hours, I haven't been focussing on my skills, I've just been floating along from traffic light to traffic light. I don't sit int he car and focus intently on the fluidity of my gear changes, or the smoothness of my breaking, I just do whatever seems to work well enough. Guys do this A LOT with pickup as well.

You want to break your pickup down into tiny tiny tiny little chunks, then spend entire nights just perfecting that chunk. Analogous to driving for 3 hours, and just going up and down the gearbox trying to be as smooth as possible until you are the smoothest and quickest gear changer you know.. You should spend an entire night opening, then leaving, opening, then leaving etc. Until you are smooth with just that skill. Then you go out another night and just focus on making her smile in the first 20 seconds, so each interaction is only one minute.. You aren't out ot pick up, you're out to master making her smile quickly, lots and lots and lots of focussed practice on one particular skill.

The chain goes on and on. But instead most guys are too broadly focussed and hope everything falls into place. Luckily that works well for some guys, but not most.

_________________
Damien D
Head Coach - The School of Attraction
The School of Attraction

what are you doing to get better?

- read seduction guides (tony's lay guide, taro-san's lay guide, ect)
- read books (art of seduction, the game)
- watch movies ( hitch, witches of eastwick, the tao of steve, wedding crashers)
- Watch other artists in the field ( go to a coffee shop or bar and watch the guy who is getting the most female attention)
- GET IN THE FIELD.. Go to the bar by yourself and talk to every girl there. Just put on a smile and be yourself. You will fail miserably at this your first time but you will learn more than anyone could teach you online.


Being a pick up artist is more than just calling yourself one. If you were really studying the game and had intentions to lose your Vcard, you would have done so already. I understand you are shy or emotionally unstable or whatever, but get the fuck over it. Do everything I said bullet pointed and you will lose your v card in a month. I hope this helps.

You know, this is the weirdest thing, i would not call myself shy at all, maybe i was once long ago but not for a long time, all trough high school i was always the one that had to be in the center of attention, i used to even argue with teachers on regular basis. The thing is when it comes to girls i was abysmal, i should mention i was rather fat, almost reaching 300 pounds at one point, i still am but it is going down now. In my mind i was the most disgusting thing alive and i could never believe that a girl could actually like me. I taught i got over this but in a last few months i went out with a couple of AFC friends and they kinda dragged me down, first time was ok, second time i just lost it, i could not even open once.
I am rather backed against the wall on this one, i am fully aware i will die alone if i give up, it is the role society gave me but i will not just sit with my arms crossed and let it happen.

I might get a lot of shit for this one but fuck em.. Get a hooker, just wear a jimmy. And for the love of all things holy don't go down on her.

Stop focusing on getting girls for a while (a couple of years even?), and make everything it takes to become happy in every other aspect of your life instead. Get in shape, buy nice clothes, go out and just be social, try to have fun with people without trying to get laid, and so on. Work on your confidence and self esteem, which in fact can be boosted by working on your posture and body language.

When you feel good about yourself and confident around people, you can come back here. But the thing is that you won't need to.

I don't know if this is great advice, but I do agree that life experience is important.

It's pretty bad advice. Practice game alongside other skills.

I guess you could start going out more often. The guys who get laid in 2 weeks do around 10-20 approaches easily. You have to approach EVERYWHERE. Not just night game but you can also do daygame. And DjDante is right, you may need to consciously focus on what you are doing.

Game is actually really hard and you need to stick to it consistently to see results which is why most people give up.