Alright, so we discussed our date for several days on facebook. Finally we came up with going to her place, meeting up at 19.00 outside. I waited for 15 minutes before calling, but she wouldn't answer. Then she called me back just as I was about to leave and she said "oh, I'm soooo sorry... uh I'm not feeling alright... could we meet up another time?"

My lame response was "uh, yeah, perhaps. Let's stay in touch. Bye"

So she was obviously lying - my guess is she got other plans, had another guy at her place and didn't want me to know, or just regretted wanting to see me. Whatever the cause, what would have been your response to her on the phone? Could I have somehow managed to turn this around?

Thanks for your input!

The best reply would have been "No you blew it" The presupposition to her would be that she didn't meet your required standards of behaviour, you have other options and your value is greater than hers and it's YOU who are the selector. Girls hate rejection even more than guys do. Some may say this is a high risk strategy but the logic is : she will re-engage you to self validate and with higher attraction as you aren't a beta that she can push around (and subsequently lose all incipient attraction for) and....if you were to let her off the hook then your beta status is assured and she will leave you for the next alpha to get her hormones going.

Seriously..if a girl flakes like this she's better off thrown in the dustbin for someone of higher quality.

This is situational.

If you did your homework and know that the girl is a bit insecure and finds you handsome, you might learn something from my experience. This is what happened to me before in one sarge. It went like this: After agreeing on meeting up at day x at place y and time z, the girl backed out while I was at place y at time z on day x.

So I made a guess that she won't meet up because she used another picture of a girl because she thinks she's not pretty. She told me several times before the date that I'm goodlooking and/or handsome. With that in mind, I said something like (on the phone):

HH: Look babe. I don't care for looks. What matters to me most is personality and if the girl is a good kisser. Are you a good kisser?"
Girl: I'm the best kisser, you'll ever meet.
HH: Cool. Come over now then. Just go with what you're wearing; nothing fancy. No need to go to a hairdresser.
Girl: But... But...
HH: No buts. Just come over here right now. I'm waiting.
Girl: Okay, I'll just be wearing a green t-shirt.
HH: Cool.

After 30 minutes or so, she showed up. She's a bit on the fat side but she's the girl alright and pretty. Thing was, she had a pimple. She's smiling and giggling as she approached and hugged me like we knew each other for a long time. We kissed at the mall with a lot of people around. One thing led to another real quick and we banged for several hours.

That's how you hook insecure girls who back out on a date. Let's sum it up:

1. Assure them that you're not a looks guy and that you appreciate girls more for their personality.
2. Qualify them with something conservatively sexual like: "I like good kissers. Are you a good kisser?"
3. Use masculine language and lead. "Come over here, now."
4. Accept. "Cool."

It could also be the reverse too. She might not find you attractive enough.

One more thing. Next time bro, when you set a meet up for the first time, don't go to her place. Meet up at a place where she has to put in an effort to see you. Let girls invest and you'll be good.

_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

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general-questions/topic137931.html

i agree with not meeting them at their place, with both guys and girls you never want the meeting at their place because if it doesn't work out, thats a whole thing they now have to worry about

Thanks for the great replies, I'll shove them into my memory bank.

She wasn't that into you so please stop making up stupid, fucking excuses. Sometimes girls just change their minds so get over it. She had a guy in there. Yeh keep making up shit like that to make yourselves feel better.

Very contributional.