Hello again, this is going to be quite long as it's my back story, where I'm at now, and finally asking for advice, I'm going to post it in sections and try and bullet point it as otherwise I tend to babble out every minute detail!

So first of all, my adult history (as pertaining to women)...
At 18, I met a woman - S, age 27 - from America (unhappily married - won't go into why but they were essentially strangers), in an online game. We got close, my first recipricated love. Met in December. Spent about a week together. Lost my virginity. Both of us completely in love with each other. Her holiday here ended and she went back home, things were tough emotionally on her. I was highly motivated for the first time in my life to get a job, and got one, almost immediately. We stopped speaking (won't go into why it's too long). Fast forward 10 years or so, I'm age 28, after being a shut in/online game addiction, and probable depression, I wanted to know if she ever achieved her goal of becoming a nurse (she did). Got back in touch. History more or less repeated itself. She came here on holiday, we did stuff, planned a future, when she went back home same thing happened. However, during the year (and certain conversations) she suggested I may have Social Anxiety Disorder, and after seeing GP I went on medication. Same year I turned my life around completely, ditched the gaming addiction, learned to drive, got glasses I'd been needing for years, got a job again, all within about 3 months, and passed my driving test within 6 first try. Point so far, I'm highly motivated by the presence of women in my life. Partly due to the medication I was sort of emotionally numb when we broke up again, and wasn't really surprised by it, meaning I accepted it without reverting to being a bum.

This final contact between us happened around December time, and as that was when we met it's always been a tough time of year for me. This same year, I had also begun reading properly, as in an actual intrest in books. I read Chuck Pahalhnuick books (Fight Club etc), and also lots of self help books, I didn't want really want to be alone and sort of stumbled upon the whole PUA thing, and of course read The Game.

I work night shifts for a care home, and my deputy boss - M, early 40's - who is one of the happiest and most fun people I have ever met, she's also a big flirt, but also has a partner. I got very into her, and actually came to the PUA forums for advice. The advice ranged from 'don't go there!' due to the obvious risks work wise, to 'go hardcore sexual on her' as in tell her everything you want to do to her. Another part of my job involved her occasionally having to sleep in the building at night for fire regulations, and so opporunities were aplenty, we texted most of the evening one night and when she went to bed she was still texting me. It was completely out of character for me but for whatever reason I went for it. I sent her something to the effect of "I can't stop thinking about you, I want to kiss you, fuck you, and give you the best oral sex you'll ever have in your life." AND...!!! It all went quiet, no reply lol. Fortunately I had been reading something around that time about how (and no offense meant, it was just what I had been reading) you shouldn't overthink not getting replies from women as they're giant flakes when it comes to stuff like this (sorry, but experience has so far backed this up!) I panicked anyway and I'm not sure if I sent an apology/retraction/don't know what came over me or not, can't remember. In the morning we passed on the stairs, and she had this look on her face, that I fucking love! It's a look that is her seeing me in a different way, as a possible mate, a kind of bemused smile or smirk. She left the building and later I got a text saying "sorry I fell asleep didn't get your text until the morning." We became friends, that talked openly about sex and relationships, and were very close. We had our first date one night, cuddled, and later kissed, this for me (unfortunately, as I don't often get to this point) is the point where I am completely comfortable being a fun, flirty, entertaining guy with women.

At work, we were flirting like mad, texting more and more sexual stuff. She said she didn't want a quick work fumble, and that she 'wanted to take her time exploring me', I'm not a pushy guy and things were great at this point I was dancing on sunshine to be honest lol. There was so much tension between us though and she kept purposely teasing me, sitting really close and brushing our bare arms together, dropping things and bending over to pick them up (not normal picking up but, 'hey look how bendy I am/look at my sexy fuckable arse!' kinda bending) we began snogging at work, and this was giving me huge errections (just from kissing, this was new to me), her tits were huge and something about holding her and not touching them made me more turned on than if I just played with them. One shift she suddenly sucked my cock in the middle of the lounge! Which again was really new to me as I'd not really enjoyed blowjobs with S as I could rarely get hard.

Eventually one night I went for it, went into the sleep room, and we fucked, and she was so into it I could barely believe how much she wanted it. When I went back to my post my phone blew up with texts of 'omg I can't believe you just did that!'. After this we began going to hotels and spending whole nights together, we'd get there like 9, start slow, massaging, flirting, kissing, I'd usually got her gifts as I like to do that, silly things she'd said she liked when she didn't think I was listening. Uusllay we started having sex and didn't stop until about 3 a.m when she'd curl up in my arms, and we'd talk until falling asleep. As a night worker my body clock was wide awake which may have helped. She always had to leave first in the morning and I've always found the sight of women putting their bra's on extremely arousing, so I'd be kissing and touching her all over while she tried to get dressed, and 9 times out of 10 she wouldn't get out the door without us having sex a few more times. It was the most insatiable and passionate relationship and we both loved every second of it.

I read something a long time ago from this community about leaving people better than you find them, and I've always liked that, and fortunately for me both relationships never really broke up. With S it was a kind of amicable separation, and with M, it never really ended, life just got in the way and we could start again any time.

I don't know if this detail really matters but since about the age of 15 I have been heavily addicted to hardcore porn. Recently I found out that this could have been causing me some psychological problems (combined with my diet, exercise, anxiety and depression) over the years. With S I struggled to get it up, but saying that the first time we met I orgasmed twice, once from sex, one from a handjob. The second time we met we only really had sex twice, once was in the middle of the night I had her buttocks in my lap and her tummy in my hand and I suddenly got the biggest errection, held her down and fucked her, she told me it was wild. (Tangent - S and M were both polar opposites sexually, S was into hardcore spanking, pain, throat fucking etc, none of which I ever did with her. M was into soft sensual love making and hated things like spanking and even light biting.) With M I never struggled to get hard (although I was worried about it) it always happened, something about placing my hand on her middle and kissing her always did it. However, I never orgasmed, could never quite get there, close once or twice. This was both good and bad, good because we could have endless sex and due to our work being largely mental health based she didn't seem upset by it at all as long as I enjoyed what we did, which was very obvious that I did, I loved watching her orgasm. But at the same time I also wanted to as in the throes of passion she often begged me to cum over her breasts.
It's with this history in mind and some research on the matter from a site called ybop (your brain on porn) that I have gone cold turkey on porn of any kind, I've had one/two relapses since the start of May, but used the orgasm and subsequent loss of interest in sex, to do the unthinkable, I have deleted a HUGE stash of pornorgaphy that I had been gathering for years.

In addition to this, from the start of May I have also been changing my diet, exercise and outlook. I'm often on a huge positivity drive and self improvement drive, and this year I have a lot of need for focus as I started 2 degrees. For the first 8 days of May I watched no porn and (this will be relavent in the next post) noticed a difference.

My relationship with M had mostly stopped at the start of 2013, and I was also off my course of social anxiety medication, social anxiety is a cognitive issue. When I was really young I didn't have tons of friends and interactions and so my brain never developed the social pathways. It is always easier to put up walls or avoid interactions. I'm quite bright academically so knew logically that the whole thing was irrational, there was no justification for thinking that talking to anyone would result in anything bad, but it isn't a logical reaction.

How the medication fits in is it would suppress that anxiety, and it was then down to me to go off and do things that were new and (should have been) scary to me. M was great for this because she fully understood the condition and so was very helpful in pushing me to do new things, even simple things like eating a new food in a new place were achievements. Once I had done something new, my brain had no excuses left, and slowly came back off the medication. The alternative to this would have been CBT cognitive behaviour therapy, but at the start of the process I didn't feel able to speak to someone. It's not like bam and I'm cured, I still get anxiety now, and occasionally avoid things but I am constantly testing myself.

In early 2013 I was 29, and I had never seen a stripper, it was something I felt I must do before hitting 30. For those in America (who may not know) we have Strip Pubs here in the UK as well as Strip Clubs, and what happens in a Strip Pub is two things, firstly the women do floor shows for everyone in the pub, they come round with a pint glass and collect £1 off everyone, they then dance and flaunt themselves at everyone, we're not allowed to touch but they are. Then they ask if you want a private dance and if you do you go off somewhere private and for £10 you can have a non touching dance, and for £20 you can touch them within reason (no insertions, but you can play with their tits and ass.) That's the usual way of it anyway it varries place to place obviously.

Anyway I lost my strip pub cherry before my 30th and although the place itself caused me some anxiety I liked it enough to keep going. I'm now a fairly regular patron there and it's good practice talking to the women, it has some non stripper women there too and some other regulars that don't go to see the strippers and I've occasionally got into conversations with them. It also falls in nicely with my current no porn attempt that I mentioned at the end of the last post, as it is intended that you only get aroused to real women in front of you.

There are a few dancers there that I get on well with, I'm very popular because I treat them nicely, always spend lots of money, give them compliments and as a result when I walk in I often get them all run over showering me with kisses and conversation. Most of the other patrons must think I'm either a millionaire or have a huge cock or something lol but it is fun.

There are 3 strippers I specifically want to talk about now to give you the backstory on where I am with each. For the most part I treat them all amazingly nicely, complimentary, I listen etc.

This has been mostly over the last 6 months, but specifically this year, I am now 31.

Firstly S, she is about 38, she is a career stripper, loves it, and is also a thrill seeking biker who swings and has sex on tap, looks wise she is very skinny and almost girl next door, she has fake boobs that are not enormous, and is very happy in her life, and tends to laugh off everything. We have been getting very close of late, emailing a lot, sexually is like S from my first post in this thread, likes being spanked and rough sex. I've sent her both fucked up hard fantasies and soft romantic fantasies she only commented on the hardcore, I've mentioned on occasion how I'd love to be in her life, be her bf (one of them) etc, but she is a master of brush off while still being open enough that you want to stay with her.

Secondly J, I'm not 100% sure how old she is but I think early 40's, looks wise she is a glamourous milf type but with a few extra pounds (not a negative in my view, she has full soft natual curvy body), she is sexually the polar opposite of S (actually similar to M from the first post), but is way more into me than S. Both S & J are bi and do cam shows together sometimes and are friends. On J's cam page as a way of spurring on customers she asked for fantasies, and as I've always been good at writing, especially that kind of thing I sent her one. The next time I saw her she said that she had masturbated every night for a week over it! She is doing academic courses and so stripping is not something she seems to be doing for anything other than money. I've since sent her some other fantasies as she said she'd like me to, they're highly tailored to what I think turns her on and so far she loves them.

Lastly E, E is actually 29! And the youngest woman I've had naked in front of me, she's much closer to my age, she's amazing looking, she's like the snooty hot chick in a club that guys look at but never approach (me included), however, having talked to her, she's really quite sweet and insecure and her personality doesn't match her looks. S hates E for some drama I can't be bothered to go into, I've only had one night of dances with E which were fantastic, and she seems like another I stand a genuine chance with. However that was before my second from last visit, S & E were both on and I really wanted to see S that night (I've kind of been trying too hard with S). I had plans for S that involved denying her a spanking that she'd been after for a long time, then surprising her with one rougher than I normally do right at the end. E came and talked to me but due to my plan with S I unfortunately kept turning her down all night (I don't like being like this with women but wanted to progress with S) S was revelling in the fact that it may have been pissing E off, though she did have other customers anyway.

I've been trying way too hard with S for a while until recently. Doing all the things she likes, I am well and truly in nice guy territory, and she likes rough bad boy types. She always half recipricates, but keeps me in that 'favourite customer' zone. She sent me an email saying how she goes home buzzing after seeing me, that I always have dances with her, say lovely things, and yada yada yada, but! She is one of those women who also hates being thought of as a girly girl so her saying that I always say lovely things to her isn't as good as it seems.

As I mentioned in the first post sometimes I struggle to get hard, I get semi hard with J most of the time, can't remember if I did with E, but so far had not with S, until that is the second from last visit, (the one with the spanking I mentioned in the last post) which happened to be the same week as the no porn ban I had placed on myself that I mentioned earlier (which is why after relapsing with avengance on day 10 I started again). She was happily surprised (as was I lol) and played with it a bit through my clothes.

Most of what happens next was intended to get S to change how she see me.

My most recent visit S & J were both on, and I had been thinking through lots of ways to frustrate S and make her want me more. Everything I did on this last visit was out of my normal character, I went in confident, smiling, talked to regulars first, and really fought through the discomfort. S came up and started chatting with me, but as per my idea I was kinda disinterested and just asked what other girls were on, she mentioned J and I over reacted "Oh great I haven't seen her for ages!" I got S a drink and J came over too, got her a drink and was chatting really well with J, I was even shouting across the bar to some regulars saying hello and making myself look known and alpha, which was surprisingly easy considering the place was packed with lots of guys bigger than me.

I asked J for a private dance, and she said she had to do a room dance as it was her turn, S came back over and asked if I wanted a private and I turned her down saying J was first, then gave her some boring conversation. I went off with J and we were really clicking, conversation just flowed, during her dances we really turn each other on (it's a lot like the pre sex with M from the first post), and I had her gasping and playing with herself through most of it. At one point she was so turned on she started kissing me on the lips (no tongue) which they never do there, and we were just turning each other on so much in every dance the rest of the night.

I only had 1 with J to start with, as per an idea I had to then further tease S, by which she would come over and ask if I enjoyed the dance with J and give me opportunity to say in the crowded pub "No, you spoiled it for me." and if she asks why tell her "Because no matter what she did all I could think about was penetrating you." I didn't get the chance to do this, but am saving it. I don't like being too canned but it seemed a good way to tease her.

Anyway, I then had a dance from S, and asked her to do something different for me. I asked her to keep her clothes on, still paid her £20 for a touching dance, but didn't touch her all through it. S had been emailing me about some wild sex she had been having and brought it up, and so to really wind her up I said I didn't believe her, that I bet she had really boring vanilla sex, in her pink girly princess room (which she hates) then rode off on her scooter (as I said she's a biker lol), she laughed but not laughing it off it seemed to really get to her for once and I made her swear at me, she pinched my nipples hard through my shirt and I was just laughing it off. Normally she extracts a few dances out of my wallet, but when she asked if I wanted her to carry on I shrugged and said nah I want to see J.

We went down and I had a lot more dances with J and we were getting really heated together, she offered me her phone number and email! Through all of S's room dances I pretty much blanked her, and everytime she tried dancing for me I dissappeared with J. Finally right at the end of the night I went and had one last quick drink before going, S was room dancing and I had walked right pass her and sat somewhere she had already danced. She came back just for me and I said "I haven't paid." playing with my phone and trying not to look. She was like "I don't care I want you, stop playing hard to get." She asked me for a dance again and I again turned her down (actually had to I'd spent it all on J.) I didn't tell her that I just said, nah I'm going.

I left feeling like I had really had a fantastic night, I had had amazing fun with J, who is as honest and upfront as I like to be, and I had thrown S so far off her game she didn't know what was going on.

When I got in I sent S an email. Giving some false hope then asking if she'd pass on my details to J, as she wanted to contact me.

So where's it all going, that's what I'm here to find out and get advice for.

If you've read all this, firstly, well done there's a lot of it. Secondly please understand I'm not trying to manipulate anyone, the last time with S was just to change things up a bit, and I was doing basically the opposite of everything I normally do, and by her reactions it seemed to be working.

S, J & E are all lovely women, and I'm not greedy, and I'm not just after sex. Quite honestly what I would like to happen is for me and S to become friends outside of the pub, she has a fun and exciting life and I think it would be great to be closer with her. With J I could see us having a relationship, or at the very least sex. E, I think I may have broken that bridge, she's a lot younger than my normal type, I can't see us ever having more than a kiss or sex.

I'm no great 'playa' as should hopefully be obvious from the fact at 31 I've had 2 proper relationships, but one of those relationships came from advice from here. Comments about my first girlfriend S are kinda pontless because it's seriously unlikely we're ever going to go there again. But any other comments are welcome, especially with regards to what I've just said about progressing with S and J.

Again, thank you to this community, the relationship with M still blows my mind to even think about half the stuff that happened.

How do you guys find the energy to write these long ass posts? lol

Well lol, I have shit loads of energy because of all the positive changes I'm making in my life. Plus I love writing.

Fair play brother...what are you asking anyway...two line version please??

Stripper S, I'd like to get friends with outside of the stripping area, but given the constant back and forth between us, and most recently me changing from nice guy into heavily winding her up and pushing her buttons, I'm not sure how to make that happen. I've not directly asked her out yet, she's fucking around and likes to talk about it, and I like hearing about it. But I was reading on here that this is a shit test and I should be freezing her out.

Stripper J, I think I'd have a relationship with, she's a lot more genuine than S although saying that there is some stuff I know about her past that she doesn't know I know and hasn't spoke about yet. So far being decent to her is working out well I'm wondering if I should change what I do when I start calling/texting/emailing her.

In general, apart from recently winding S up in a playful way, I'm very straight, and honest with them.

Anyone?

1st off if you've ever spent one dime on either girl, your already blown out.

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

No. What else.

Right, skimmed all that and think the question can be summarised into "I see three strippers, have I got a shot with any of them?"

First off - you say you're good at writing and enjoy it. I'm sure for the purposes that you normally write, you are very good. You seem articulate and do write well. But think about your audience and adapt your writing to that. If you want an answer on here, there are very few people who are going to read what is not just one very long post, but multiple very long posts! I've narrowed it down into one sentence above, maybe add a bit of background for each of the girls and then you've got a four/five paragraph post which people read and you'd have 20 replies already.

My response - strippers are paid to be nice. I didn't read every example above, but somewhere you said you sent one of the girls some poetry or writing and that next time you saw her she said she'd got off on it for ages after. But in reality she probably didn't. She may have read it, if she knew it was important to you and would get you paying her more money next time. To then say to you that she got off on it for ages would suggest to me that she was exactly saying that to get you to pay her more.

Main point from me - just sack it off. Strippers get paid to be nice. go and find real girls who aren't only nice to you to get money off you. I don't agree with Heywood - at times paying for girls and whatever is absolutely fine, as long as you're not doing it to try and win the girl over. But when it's strippers, let's bear in mind that they aren't even using you for your money or stringing you along for a few free drinks and maybe a nice gift. They're just doing a job.