| Its my first post here and I really don't know where would be the correct place to post this
but anyway, here goes...
Its a really long post so if you bros could take the time to read it,
I would be hella appreciative.
A little about myself
I am a guy who is very prone to being emotional, like a girl lol.
I have had met girls online who wanted me to sleep with them because
they thought I looked good, they werent really interested in me.
I had been into online dating for a while now and I got to know this new girl whos 3 years older than me.
Im in my mid twenties.
We have been talking for about 7 months and she has openly expressed her fondness towards me for about almost 2 months now.
Saying things like,
"I would be depressed if you met another girl."
"My friend asked me if I needed her to introduce a guy, but I don't think I can meet another guy like you."
"I would be really depressed if we cannot meet for as long as 2 years"
"You are my cutie ******* (My name)"
"I like you a lot"
She even took a picture of herself with my name and a heart lol.
We talk on the phone every night after work.
A little about this girl
Shes kinda "cool" like a guy, not very emotional and often takes a long time to reply to text messages.
So her friends always got mad at her because of that.
She knows that but finds it hard to correct this habit.
In other words, she gets too focused in her work and doesn't really think about other things.
People around her always say that she is too realistic. She is also very straight forward, doesnt lie or play games. Very law-abiding, a little religious and obedient to parents.
SHe confessed that she really meant what she said, that she likes me and that it wasn't a joke, she wouldnt joke about such a thing. Its really difficult for her to like someone.
She has many guy friends which she has 0 feelings for.
Because of her character, she doesnt expresses her feelings well, only if I do it first. She has liked a guy for 2 years being by his side without confessing, thats the kind of girl she is. Oh Btw we are both Asians.
We have only seen each other in pictures, not even webcam. She had that she didnt care about appearance. Saying the guy she liked for 2 years was really ugly.
Both of us have self-esteem issues, so we don't like taking pictures of ourselves. But she thinks I am good looking and I feel the same for her. I don't think shes attractive to most guys but her smile really caught my heart.
I just quit my job for more than a week ago and decided to visit her. We live 6 hours apart by plane.
When we met, she said I felt like a different person. Btw she siad liked me when we talked on the phone because I was really warm lol.
I was nervous lol (my fault) So I didnt smile or talk a lot. Also, she felt like I was a stranger. I was hurt by that and it made me enter depressive mood when we texted.
We met only for about 3 hours on a Friday. Didnt meet for 3 consecutive days after the first meetup cus she had a planned trip with her buddy. Met on the following Tuesday through Thursday for 3 hours each day.
I tried to grab her hand a couple of times during the the 3 hours that we met but she would decline saying,
"I would have grabbed your hand If I really wanted to."
With me being my normal self and entering depressive mode when she seemed hesitant about us. She kept telling me not to worry, saying that now that we have really met, reality hit her to really re-think everything all over again, her age, marriage, the long distance and that if she sees me as a friend or a boyfriend. Because if we were to date, it would be a really committed relationship. All this time up to this point, she kept telling me that she wants to talk more with me.
Fast forward, we spent the entire weekend together, Didnt meet on the Friday because it was her dad's birthday. Like from 1pm to about 11pm. We became closer but I would still sink into depressive mode.. I know its a no no but I couldnt help it.
I told her that because she is realistic, not the very emotional type of person as compared to myself, we might need more time together. I asked her again if she really meant it when she said she liked me and she said,
"Yes, of course. I don't lie about such things. But you know, I am really confused too. I didn't think I would be this different."
At this point, I know that she doesnt have any feelings for me as a guy or a friend. Maybe stuck in between but more towards a friend.
She has been keeping her boundaries between us (No physical contact), only wanting to just talk to try n reclaim those feelings from before.
So she felt that her being realistic isnt the problem. She just didnt have the spark when she saw me and that just a little of it should suffice for the spark to grow into a flaming heart of love lol.
My response
"The only difference that we have when we talked on the phone and now, is that we weren't able to touch and see each other. Don't you think that we should do more of that now while Im here? (skinship) Girls and Guys need that kind of touch for feelings to occur, no?"
At this point she still insists that she really liked me when we talked on the phone. There was only about a week difference when we last talked on the phone and met in reality.
After I told her the response above, we drank,held hands, hugged and talked like how we talked in the past, being honest about everything. Something we couldn't do during the times we met in person.
On the next day before I left for home, we spent the entire time together, drank and french-ed passionately. Perhaps with the influence of alcohol, she didnt have resisting thoughts.
SHe saw me off at the airport, this time with no alcohol and we kissed for a while.
It has been a day since I came home. She texted me asking if I returned safely but I haven't replied.
I didnt apply any techniques with her, only pushed and pulled before she said she liked me. I personally think I was naive and too easy. Showed too much of my depressive side when we met and it caused her to be depressed too. I even teared when I was drunk lol.
She also said she used to like bad boys but now shes really attracted to kind ones.
Didnt want to push and pull with her, thinking that she is a really nice girl who doesnt deserve it.
I know I was wrong lol.
I don't think appearance is the problem here, she kept saying I look better than her and that shes ugly.
My posture was bad when we met, I slouched a little,
shes a little tall for a woman so it looked like we were the same height but Im taller
than her by just 2 inches.
What do you guys think is the issue and what should I do next?
I really like her and I see myself wanting to marry her.
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CHAT