I'm so sick of thinking about this.
I started dating my gf in August. She's awesome, lets me watch every inning of every game, even goes to the ballpark with me, makes me dinner, great in bed, blah, blah, blah, you've heard it before. But even from day one I was unsure if I really wanted to be with her. I gave it a shot cuz shes so cool, pretty, etc, plus my best friend started dating her best friend at the same time which made for cool hangout situations (they are still together.)
I've been in several very long term relationships, and I was always unsure of how long I wanted this to last. I got into the community about a year ago after my last ltr ended, and have always wanted to really give it my all. Been so sick of sticking in relationships I'm not fully into. My heart just doesnt feel all there. We've already broken up twice, once was her after she found out I invited two girls back to my place (they showed up at my doorstep and her best friend shooed them away) and the second time when I just decided it was enough and broke up with her. That was a few months ago, been pretty stable since then.
Lately I feel like such an asshole. This girl has been texting me and obviously likes me. Then on Saturday I asked this girl out, the alcohol will do it to me every time. I have the worst guilty conscience and feel like shit. I've never been a cheater and dont want to start now.
Maybe I know the answer. I dont know. I've gotten advice from every friend and family member several times. Its just tough to break up with someone who never gave you a reason to do so. Maybe I never got my chance to really be a player. Maybe its too hard when my roomate/best friend is still dating her best friend.
Damn I really need some help.
What do you guys think?

You are not being tough if you let her go because you don't want her that much.
You are being nice because you are not wasting her time.
How guilty would you feel if after 5 years you decide that you can't go on anymore?
Do it now and be honest. She will hurt but at the end she will appreciate it.

Before you do make sure you have thought it all the way through, it sounds like you have. If you have and are convinced you should break up then go for it and don't turn back. Agree with the above poster also, doing her a favor in the long run.

Dickey,

Maria is spot on. I was in a 5 year relationship with a woman I wasn't in love with and eventually ended up not being attracted to. It was one of if not the worst mistake of my life. She was an excellent girl, just not for me.

I'm a loyal person and felt that I owed it to her because she had been so faithful and stuck it out by my side for so long. I lied to myself and told myself that I could grow to love her.

I sat down one day and just started writing shit out on a piece of paper. How we treated each other, why I was still there and why I thought she was still there, the reasons I should or shouldn't stay. The dynamics of the relationship etc. I realized I was being selfish. We were comfortable, not in love.

Looking back I don't regret the learning experience portion of it because it taught me a lot about myself but I do regret all of the lost time. I do regret that I led her on like that and I still regret it to this day, it was horrible of me to do that.

If you don't love her and don't want to be with her cut her loose. It will hurt her but she'll get over it and move on. It's the best thing you can do, and from a purely selfish stand point just think about all the time your wasting and all of the women and experiences you're missing out on.

well said people. It took me a while, but I did it last week. Thanks for the good advice, its all correct.

My friend I am going through the exact same thing your were going through. I just posted something in the pua lounge (should have posted here) that I swear is a mirror image of your story.

And I can truly relate when it comes to the thought of breaking up with her.

1 It's like the reply's up top mentioned , you don't want to waste her or your time. you only have one life to live and each day the clock is ticking.

2 On the other hand you fill like a douche because (and I could be wrong) you fill like the things you want out of life when it comes to woman make's you sound greedy and unappreciative of what you do have. And you don't want to break her heart.

As for me I think I will also follow the advice given.

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There is no such thing as failure only learning lesson's, and in life class is always in session.

If you care about her and care about not being an asshole any further.. leave her man.. Call her up and break up with her right now.

The longer you play this out, the more damage you're going to do.

I've been in this situation too many times to count; and the truth is, she just isn't satisfying enough for you.

Now.. Do be aware that once you are single, you will have to deal with some temporary regret. You'll think you miss her, but what you're really missing is the comfort she provided. And the stronger sense of self you acquire when you have the knowledge that some girl out there is deeply in love with you. So don't make this mistake most guys make and go back apologizing for leaving; because she will then become who you once were, and it'll be an unhappy relationship.

I say leave her. Make your bed and lay in it, and never look back no matter what your FEELINGS tell you.

You're hurting her now by staying with her in this state of uncertainty.

Keep it real with her man.

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