It seems that the society in America has gotten increasingly gym-centric in the past few years. I know it's never been sexy to be an overwight slob, but it seems to me like absolutely everyone goes to the gym these days fairly regularly. Ironically, even the fat girls I sleep with consider themselves gym rats. It feels like a pre-requisite to attract any sort of quality woman.

I'm a 24 year old guy who has slept with probably 120-140 women. Most of them were either fat or homely looking. 5's and 6's with a few 7's and 8's sprinkled in. I reached a point where even after sleeping with all of those women (mostly from online dating sites) I still felt like I had accomplished nothing. All it took was a quick trip to the mall or my campus to see literally hundreds of girls who put everyone I ever laid to shame.

I'm 5 foot 9 and weighed about 137 pounds back in February. Even though I have an attractive face and good sense of style, I always felt that the truly beautiful women immediately disqualified me because I wasn't muscular. People would openly tell me I was skinny without knowing what a scalding insult it was. As much as I hate the concept of the gym, it seemed like a necessary evil to try bulking up.

I've gained about ten pounds since then and put on a bit of muscle but nothing noticeable. I'm still classified as a "skinny" guy and still can't seem to break through the barrier and get with the women I know I deserve. Do you think I'm going about the the right way? It's so annoying to have to try and eat a certain amount of calories per day and make time for the uncomfortable and painful hour at the gym several times a week, but if it is what needs to be done so I won't end up with an ugly wife, I'll keep at it. Haha.

Unfortunately there is an ideal body shape that is considered the most attractive. As a man, you are supposed to have broad shoulders and a narrow waist. Besides, body size is an important part of being an alpha male. There is only one way to get there, and you seem to be on the right track.

However, don't only focus on calories. Focus on eating lots of protein (meat, eggs, fish, chicken, beans, and so on). That will help you build muscles faster.

Another tip to optimize your efforts is to focus on one muscle group every session, and pump the shit out of that group (may it be legs, back and biceps, chest and triceps, or something). Rest that muscle group for at least three days and exercise other groups meanwhile. You should see dramatic improvements in only three months.

And remember - the muscle mass you build once will forever be "remembered" by your body. Even if you quit going to the gym for years you will find it very easy to come back to your past shape again.

Going to the gym makes you feel good, and gives you a confidence in your looks and abilities. It is about personal achievement, fulfillment, and feeling like a man. Getting bigger to attract ladies is not the best motivation, and will not necessarily make going to the gym enjoyable.

Additionally is more about proportions than over all size, look like a gorilla isn't exactly attractive anyway.

Eat, Eat, Eat, Work Hard, and rest. There is not special formula, and many workouts complicate things. Find a simple plan that works for you. If you are already skinny, you have the advantage of become more toned than a heavy set guy. Good Luck.

Bull.

To the OP:

While broad shoulders and a narrow waist are generally what is considered MOST attractive by most women, that's not to say that there's a great amount of variation in body types that would fit those criteria, or that there aren't plenty of women out there who either don't care or actually LIKE skinnier guys or that plenty of women would overlook or not care about your body type if you simply had more confidence or started expanding your social circles by taking up new hobbies, moving to a new city, etc.,. There are some women that simply don't care about your body type as long as you are not absolutely hideous or morbidly obese if you can make them feel a certain way.

My take is that you're obsessing over body type too much. Just relax, be yourself and focus on becoming more confident, fun and carefree. Do whatever the hell you want and try not to let anything faze you. You'll become more attractive literally instantly instead of living inside your head and wondering whether you're big enough and worrying about protein shakes and forcing yourself through workouts you hate.

Leave the chicks who dig meatheads to the meatheads....get into indie chicks or some other subculture where you're not competing with every other john q public who obsesses over his workouts, listens to the same bland music, is into cars and generally has the same boring interests as everyone else and chases the exact same chicks...greener pastures, less competition and more suited to the attributes you already possess - far less work. Sexier, too...

Maybe he's not into the indie girls? They're certainly easier to date, but why go for easy? Go for the best of the best.

You're not understanding what I wrote. I said "indie girls or some.other subculture".

I never said they were "easier to date", just that some.kind of alternative subculture might suit his strength s more.

And trust me, you are very, very wrong about the average bimbos I'm referring to being "the best". I'm not suggesting he ditch "better" women for less desirable ones. I'm suggesting he trades apples for oranges. After all, who wants to obsess over becoming something he's not just so you can get in good with the same boring women whose hobbies consist of nothing other than watching tv "going out for drinks" and "dancing with my friends"?

Op might not agree, but it's a suggestion if you've got a bit of an alternative personality that'll save you from plenty of competition if you're so inclined.

Thanks for the responses guys. While there's no doubt that indie girls and other subcultures can be hot, in a way the fact that they are easier to attain is a turn off. I want that bimbo girl with her Victoria's Secret PINK sweatshirt and leggings showing off her bubble butt. It probably stems from the fact that I never really got with that girl throughout high school and college. Out of the countless women I've slept with... they've almost all been a little chubby, homely, or different in some way. Attracting an artsy girl because I'm an intellectual just doesn't make me feel accomplished. But a hottie who lives at the gym and the tanning booth? For whatever reason, that seems like the ultimate prize.

But I'm not going to lie- that would be the ONLY reason I work out. And it's just such a consuming lifestyle because of how little calories per day I'm accustomed to eating. Factoring in the extra money I will have to spend on food for myself makes it even more daunting, haha. But it seems like this "Do you even lift?" culture isn't going away any time soon.

Any skinny guys with insight?

I believe you are doing yourself a disservice by thinking that getting that hot gym girl would make you happy. It wouldn't. The type of girl that only considers the guy if he has a perfect body and full of muscle is very superficial. You wouldn't like that trust me if you have a shred of self esteem.
I personally love to go to the gym and I'm quite muscular. And I think it matters for the girls. It's like not a criteria, but a good bonus. Shows you that you like to take care of yourself. But if a girl liked me purely based on this I wouldn't even consider her as an option.
In your case however I wouldn't recommend lifting weights just to get girls. Maybe try something else like another sport, or classes. You will find quality women there who are very fit with good personality.
Important thing: I can see that you are being fussy about having to spend money on quality food etc. Taking care of your body is a lifestyle. It's not something you should do because you want to look good. It's because that's your body and it's the only thing you have. And it deserves to be treated right.
Or you can live eating cheap takeaway and microwave food watching tv. It's really up to you. But then don't expect to get a quality girl.

Come on... I totally am on board with recognizing the fact that you have to put in the work for your body to look appealing to women. But it's going a little overboard to suggest that because I'm not crazy about stuffing my body with thousands of extra daily calories, I must live eating microwave food and watching TV all day. I'm perfectly healthy.. I just don't have the big muscular body that our society demands.

The funny thing about you said was: overweight men are seen in a positive light. Fatass guys are supposedly tougher than lean guys. At least from what I have seen and heard.