Best Friend flirts with my girlfirend - she's showing IoIs



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PostPosted: Fri Apr 11, 2014 5:10 pm 
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Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2009 9:08 pm
Posts: 58
Hey,
I've been together with this girl for a months time.
She's great, and we're having a good time.
Allright, heres my problem - I need a solution badly.

My best friend is a natural lady's man.
He's game is flawless... I litteraly can't pick anything out about him.
He is the most funniest, physical fit, cleverest, talkative person I have in my socail circle.
He's a fucking sympathetic wonderkid with a confidence like a rock. The guy whom girls love and guys admire.

When I'm alone with him, or hanging out with our other homies, we're having a blast.
But hanging out with my girlfriend (and sometimes some of her girlfriends) the situation changes.
He playfully flirts with any girl he's talking to.
And that counts my girlfriend.
And she loves it.

For example:
The other night we were out drinking some beers.
Me, her, him and some other guys.
We were talking, and he starts making a joke about being the third wheel.
My GF catches it and starts fireing back.
Before I know it they are joking about me and him shifting seats so she can hold he's hand instead of mine.
She slips my hand, place it on her own thighs and smiles at him, blushing.
He's just taking a piss at anything like allways.
I know him and he does this kind of things to ANY girl.
Before I even can react he says with utterly confidence:
"Nah, that would just be awkard. You should at least sit on he's (my) lap while doing it".
She laughs hysterically, touching her hair and keeps eyecontact with him while smiling.
It happend so fast that I didn't have time to react.
I just sat there in complete silence, trying to let it pass.
I didn't know what to do.

This is one of many situations.
You can imagine how humiliating that was to me.
He's talking skills are like a testetorone overload rabbit on coke, so it's hard to get a word included when he is ping-ponging with a girl like that.
I'm normally very talkative, but he's just that faster.
I know for a fact that he don't mean anything about it when he does it.

Do you have any advice on handeling situations like this?
I know it will happen again, and I want to be prepared.
What's the best thing to do?

Kind regards,
LA


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 11, 2014 5:22 pm 
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King Among Mortals
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So your insecure then?

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 11, 2014 6:07 pm 
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Joined: Fri Apr 04, 2014 10:28 pm
Posts: 150
sorry man, these aren't friends, if he doesn't see what he is doing, ask him nicely to stop.
if it would happened to me i would ask him, without caring if its coming out naturally to stop, if he doesn't, leave both of them together, cause she seems to enjoy it also, sorry man this isn't the people i want by me.
about the girl dump her now, life too short to waste emotions on people that don't treat you as you want..


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 11, 2014 6:52 pm 
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Joined: Mon Mar 31, 2014 6:52 pm
Posts: 30
Stop worrying first your GF giving him ioi's don't mean she is DTF. You know you are on the advantage, try making your GF invest in you more like ask her to call you, ask her to hold something for you and when she is away from you send her a text like "I need to talk, spare a minute for me when we meet" this will keep her thinking about you, it will take time but the more she invest in you the less time she will have for other guys, you will attach her to you emotionally and slowly she will start thinking about you 24/7 and any amount of flirting from other guys won't make her leave you.

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PostPosted: Fri Apr 11, 2014 7:07 pm 
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Joined: Sat Apr 18, 2009 9:08 pm
Posts: 58
Quote:
So your insecure then?
Yup, about those two I am.
Right now I'm seeking an advice for the best outcome of a response I can give when a given situation occurs.
Quote:
Ask him nicely to stop what he's doing with your GF, if he still does it, well, take some hard action on him.
Quote:
if he doesn't see what he is doing, ask him nicely to stop
I'm gonna do that. Thanks.
How about my girl?
Should I confront her with it next time it happens?


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 11, 2014 7:45 pm 
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Joined: Wed Mar 20, 2013 11:13 am
Posts: 317
I would not confront your girl about this, you can be playful the next time, looks like you and charlie gonna run away together. dont make it an issue with her but u can be playful in the tone i just said

if it continues to bother you, you dont want to lecture your gf but she needs to know somehow, like making a you two would make a cute couple statement or something. this lets her know uve noticed it, which even when you joke about it a girl knows its on your mind. dont make to big a deal of it but atleast this way you show that its a problem without showing anger at her


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 11, 2014 10:44 pm 
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Joined: Fri Apr 04, 2014 10:28 pm
Posts: 150
Quote:
if he doesn't see what he is doing, ask him nicely to stop

I'm gonna do that. Thanks.
How about my girl?
Should I confront her with it next time it happens?
you see i'm not like the rest here, and maybe they are right,
but i don't settle with such behavior nor lower my standards, if a girl with me, she only with me same as i'm only with her,
i cut things like that from the start, from the root, not looking behind or to the sides no consideration.
again they might be right, but i got very short limits where i can flex, just saves some mental energy.
your choice, good luck.
~Vlad


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PostPosted: Fri Apr 11, 2014 11:08 pm 
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Joined: Thu Nov 08, 2012 3:19 pm
Posts: 1472
I agree with Vlad on either talking to him about it or warning him off.

Honestly, you should have joked around about whenever he did this to draw attention to what it is he's doing, vocally with him on front of her saying "Whoa, what's this! Hands off my girl." Don't say it in an "I'm pissed off" kind of way, just say it passively/jokingly so he and she is aware that they're noticably acting up. The more aware of it and the more fun you poke at it the more cool and liberal you come across and you can freely tell your girl to come over to you and make out with her(Declaring her as your territory). It lets you wedge in between them and throw him off his game.

Regardless of that I wouldn't be happy with my girlfriend holding another guys hand. That's fucked up man. Unless she actually needs to hold someone's hand for help over something then she shouldn't be holding your friends hand.

Anyway, if push comes to shove i'd talk to him and tell him to be careful around my girl. Then again, i've never been in this situation where my own girlfriend is getting up close and personal to another guy on front of me and holding his hand... That's nuts. I'd dump her if she did that to be honest.


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 12, 2014 3:33 am 
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Tbh, I won't even confront a friend on this. Flirting is a 2 way street.

If:
He's trying to make flirtatious jokes with your girl = talk to him
She's flirting back = dump her.

Friend or not, if a girl dropped my hand for some flirtatious joke with ANY other guy, she'd be gone. What would you have done if it were a random guy at the bar? Find a girl who respects you.


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 12, 2014 4:17 pm 
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Posts: 7592
Location: United States
Simply OWN her, from the very start. You do that, they'll put up their bitch shield in the face of any flirtatious action. They my smile politely but the IOI's will stop.

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.


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PostPosted: Sat Apr 12, 2014 6:06 pm 
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Joined: Tue Feb 21, 2012 3:50 pm
Posts: 587
Question:

Do you ever flirt with her friends in front of her? If yes, shut the fuck up and be a man. If no, then tell her you feel disrespected when she flirts with your friends in front of you and say that is why you don't always flirt with her friends in front of her.

Personally though, I'd let them flirt, and I'd get in the habit of flirting with her friends in front of her. Mirror her behavior. After all, sooner or later you're gonna get tired of fucking her. So when she does finally bone your friend, her friends will already like you and be sympathetic to your plight and be more than happy to help you ease your pain if you know what I mean. :)

Bottom line, either flirt with her friends too, or tell her how you feel about it. If this is what ends your relationship, you're better off without it anyways. Best of luck.


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