This girl hit me up early in the week for tix to Coachella. I told her I couldn’t get tix, but that we should meet for a drink anyways to “figure something out” about the tix. She agreed.

I met this girl for an early drink 7p. We had one drink, I got to know her a bit, built some rapport and we just had a good time. She told me she wasn’t too concerned about the tix b/c she was going to be in L.A. anyways so it wasn’t a big deal if she didn’t go.

After one drink, I asked her what she was up to tonight she said she had a bday party that she didn’t want to go to. I told her I was having a BBQ and she asked if she could come see my garden (since that is rare in nyc). Obviously, I said yes.

She comes over, the BBQ hasnt started yet, it’s just me and her playing ping pong outside, listening to music while my roommmate (it was his BBQ) is getting things ready. The mood was there, she was laughing at all my jokes, suggesting that we play tennis when it gets warmer, asking questions about me etc.

I find out she’s a vegetarian so we walk to the grocery store together to get veggies. Again, we are having a fun time in the grocery store. We get back to the house and there are a lot of people over. So at this point, I am not able to pay as much attn to her. Lot of people there so shes talking to them, less to me. Also, I can’t devote as much time to her b/c there is much going on.

Couple hours later, I text her meet me upstairs in 5 mins. She responds “k”. Five mins go by she doesnt come up. I come back down and outside and she’s talking to my roommate and then as I come out, she says I’m actually heading out. (I’m thinking what the hell did I do wrong?)

I walk her upstairs, I attempt to kiss her, she turns and gives me her cheek. I try again, other cheeek. Then as she’s leaving she says we should get together to play tennis sometime and then leaves. It was so abrubt. I don’t know what went wrong, but something did.

What did I do wrong?

You didn't pay attention to her when more people showed up.

She's a date. She doesn't know anyone.

nothing really, you just jumped too fast, without getting her warmed up.
she even told you we should play tennis, like you need to warm me up xD(joke).
what it really ,means you have to try harder to get what you want, simple.

Indeed too fast. It was obviously that your text was a 'booty-text' (you wanted sex). While she is just having a good time with you.

Go play tennis with her, lower her interest, and start again with the usual (attraction, DHV, neg, blabla, etc.)

Thanks for the comments and feedback guys. How long would you wait to reach out to her again and how would you do it so she doesn't associate you with being creepy? I have that fear that she does cause of how she left.

not at all, nothing creepy, its just a respond, she went away with certain feelings, creepy would be if she told no and you would forced yourself on her, it's not the case, you didn't ruin anything, invite her to hang out/date with you when you have free time, i wouldn't suggest you tennis, because she offered it, it makes it looks like you try to win her cause you don't do what you like you do it for her, i don't trust girls minds, generally i don't like where it might go, plus after tennis you both will be sweaty, no progress will come out of it.

Thanks a lot, Vlads! I will wait until next week to ask her for drinks maybe on Thursday or to do something fun. Should I use banter to lighten the mood via text and gauge how she is feeling towards me?

do you care? how she feels towards you? no you don't, you care not to lose her.
rephrase you do care, only because you afraid to lose her, that's the point, and it's sets you on the path to lose her.
where did you get the information you did something wrong? because how she left, did she cry? nope, she even gave you a hint that she wants to see you again (invitation for tennis), again it will set you on the path of to afraid to lose her, there wasn't nothing wrong, relax.

you are welcome,
~Vlad

You didn't do anything wrong.

What do you think she was going to think would happen if she met you upstairs? DTF or something, dude. She knew from that moment that you were into her and wanted her. She's playing hard to get because she knows she can have you and she wants a date out of it.

Meet up with her, spend more time with her then try to kiss her during your date. Exhibit control, confidence and dominance when you're closing her. Chicks respond well to you when you do this. Basically put on a strong frame of being a badass who gets what he wants when he wants it when you're going to close her. Tell her to kiss you and then let it happen. "Come here. Give me a kiss." Look her dead in the eye and don't flinch then point towards her and beckon her over with your index finger then just say it. Don't mumble, open your mouth and lock eyes with her.

Damn, Games SN.

Just reading that was bad ass. You make a good point, I totally gave myself up that I wanted her with that text I sent her. Up until then, she was probably just wondering what my deal was. So, I will def hit her up next week to see if she wants to get together on Thursday. Do you have any suggestions on what to do with her? I have already taken her for a drink. Maybe something more interesting, this time around.

Don't wait a week. That's just silly. She's not giving you a shit test or mistreating you, just letting you know she requires some work to do stuff with her. Nothing wrong with that and freezing her out will only come across as disinterested and immature. Drop her a simple, non-needy, line.

Text her in a day and arrange to meet her. Keep it simple, don't go too crazy and invite her out to more interesting things that get you excited when you've actually closed the deal. The problem with doing things with her that you enjoy or your hobbies is it's too much too soon. You want to hook her THEN get her involved in your life. Remember, when you share your life you're coming across as very interested in her. Sharing things about yourself and your life says you want to share that with her which is needy and should be reserved for when you're actually seeing things going towards a relationship.

Thanks for the advice, Games SN.

The thing is, I know she is out of town right now through Sunday night (she's going to be in LA and I'm in nyc), so there's no point in wasting a meet up text now. I think I will send it next Tuesday and try to meet up with her on Thursday. What are some examples of "a simple, non-needy line?"

Yeah, in that case wait.

A non-needy message would be like "Hey, i'm heading out to X on Y. You should come." It's simple, you're inviting her out and the ball is in her court. If she says she can't then just be aloof about it "That's cool, enjoy your night!" Max chances for inviting a chick out is twice. If she says no twice and doesn't arrange to meet up at another time then just write her off.

That sounds pretty simple.

So, I don't need to start up with some light banter to get her emotionally involved or whatever? I can just send "Hey I'm going to be at X on Y. You should come."?

Do what you normally would do. I think there's too much emphasis on texting for a meet up and only that. If you're seeing a girl you're gonna want to invest in her a little bit. Do what works best for you, if that's banter then go for it. Personally i'd send a message randomly saying she should come out, especially if she's been away for a while and it's my first message.

I have this one girl, SHB9, that's away on holidays. Not nailed her yet but I plan to when she comes back. That's what i'm going with "Hey, i'm heading out tonight. You should come! " then again i've already set the tone, broken down physical barriers and let her know where my interest lies(Not being a friend) and of course i've been making out with her.