This is a common problem that I seem to keep running into and I could really use some tips or advice. I'll be planning a get together at someone's place, fully with the intent on getting it in that night. It's usually the second or third time I'm seeing a girl and I've already made out with her extensively. Just before I'm about to head over with the movie we're going to watch I will get something along the lines of, "we are not having sex just so you know".

It usually happens if I say something flirty or sexual in texting because I'm trying to set the mood. And it provokes that defensive response. Make no mistake, I have managed to have sex with many girls who gave me that line, so I know it's possible to overcome.

How would you recommend dealing with this sh*t test? I have tried the confident Alpha response of "hahaha. we definitely are." That never seems to go over well for me and just makes the woman more defensive or she will cancel completely.

My other strategy is to make a joke and say, "You thought it would be that easy to get in my pants? Take me out a few more times and we'll see!" Of course then I still work on escalating when we meet up.

Being direct and asking "why not?" just prompts the vomit-inducing "I'm not that kind of girl at all" response.

And I don't want to say "Okay, I respect that." because it's kind of dishonest.

Insight?

"We'll only go as far as you're comfortable"

It seems you've already figured out the cause of the problem.

Agreed.

Stop trying to be sexy via text....y.

It rhymed. I had to.

Her: We're definitely not having sex.

Me: What do you take me for!? some sort of slut!

Usually gets a giggle or two.

He's not trying to be sexy or trying to arouse her. He's digging for a written confirmation for sex. What the girl reads is, "Will you or will you not have sex with me? As you can clearly see, I don't see much vagina. I like you. I took you out 2 times. Now I want to see your vagina. I know you likey likey. Thank you for your consideration. You have not replied. Are you going to offer me some or not?"

Just show up and get it on and the girl will have showered for an hour, trimmed her V, and worn her freshest undies. Not sure why guys troll for sex like he's picking teammates for pick up basketball.

There are a lot of guides to take it sexual on text. I rarely see this work in practice. It's not impossible to get there while talking to a girl over text, I'm doing it as we speak, but it's usually not necessary. The girl knows what you want. She wants it too.

I agree with Kasabi, you're activating an ASD response. Just say "ok" and then continue with the conversation.

She may even wonder if you don't find her attractive in a sexual way or perhaps muse that you're still undecided and filtering her. If that's the case expect her not only to have trimmed her v but also wearing some seriously sexy underwear when you meet.

You have two options here:

1. Take what most of the posters above say.

2. Improve your execution. It appears that your execution of heating up the girl before a date for sex is wrong.

One thing that you need to consider is that men talk or text very differently from women. If you say straight up to a woman without the proper timing or cues, "I want to slam my cock in your pussy" then you're going to be a massive fail.

A horny woman who wants to fuck will usually initiate a text about love or romance. She isn't going to tell you, "Let's fuck right now" rather she'll text you quotes about love. The bolder ones will directly say, "I love you" but the typical girl will text you something like, "Love knows no bounds." or "God is love."

You can ignore love/romance texts or you can up the ante and make a woman's pussy wet. How? Use feminine language first to hook her and when she takes the bait, you gradually transition to masculine language.

Read up on some Danielle Steel novels and focus on the erotic parts. That's how you should word your text game until you've hooked the woman.

Examples:

“Sometimes, if you aren't sure about something, you just have to jump off the bridge and grow your wings on the way down.”

“You'd be surprised how fast things happen when the right man comes along.”

“Lust is temporary, romance can be nice, but love is the most important thing of all. Because without Love, lust and romance will always be short-lived.”

- Danielle Steel

How to Execute

Girlie text: Love is the most wonderful feeling in the world. [Masculine language equivalent: My pussy is soaking wet.]

Your text: Lust is temporary, romance can be nice, but love is the most important thing of all. Because without Love, lust and romance will always be short-lived. [Masculine language equivalent: Hell yeah. I'm getting a massive hard on!]

Girlie text: I love you. [Masculine language equivalent: I want your cock inside my pussy right now.]

Your text: You'd be surprised how fast things happen when the right man comes along. Let's meet up at Starbucks one o'clock sharp. [Masculine language equivalent: Let's get it on baby. Let's fuck.]

Transitioning techniques are a bit more complex so I'm not going to discuss those here.

_________________
Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate

Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:

general-questions/topic137931.html

You're not the first village idiot to hit this forum but surely, you are the hardest working.

This problem was solved by the author 60 years of challenge and the way he does amazed me with results.

When encountered with such a shit test, you only reply: We are both adults, we are doing whatever the hell we want.

For some reason, throwing the we are adults here makes her think differently towards sex. Indeed, it is a grown up thing to do not to talk about or give warning about what`s happening. The more experience I get, the more of a mistake I see in ways of assuring sex such as texts with: Bring a bag with clothes or something, you are spending the night with me.

Another confirmation for sex.

Don`t talk about it, if she talks about it treat her like a child.

Actually . . . we can "talk about it". . . and the guys who've had some experience. . . maybe over 10 girls will do it naturally. It's because a guy who's had some girlfriends and has had some one night stands figures out a few realities of life. . . it's just a pattern. You meet girls, you set up up dates, you get close . . . and sex is just part of this picture. So he doesn't dig for verbal or written confirmations because sex at a certain point of any two people meeting and getting together is a reality. When a guy with some experience chats about pending sex, it's usually to mesh off of her energy and not the other way around.

Newbies only dig for confirmations because he wants to be assured for sex. It's redundant. It's boring. Just ask your 7th grade English teacher. . . "I will now talk to you about what I plan to do later. Now I will talk to you about what I will do pretty soon. Now I will talk to you about what I plan to do now. Now, let's talk about what we just did." - You can dress this shit up with whatever romantic novel bullshit you can dream up. it's still boring and it's still redundant, and above all, a turn off.

*Over the years, I have sensed skittish chicks and often took preemptive strikes, "Just so you know. . . " - and almost always, they go red in the face and don't know how to respond. "Sex" was on their minds and their "good girl" way to express sex on their mind is "Just so you know. . ."

"Who said anything about sex?" *confusedish look and then smile.

/thread

Here is what you can do: don't try to set the mood in text. Use text to sort out logistics, nothing else.

She tells you this because she knows you will expect her to have sex with you. And that's a turnoff. She wants to have sex with you. But you put her under pressure with your expectations.

I don't think there is a very good way to handle this situation other then prevent it from happening in the first place. I haven't slept with too many girls but no one ever told this to me, because I don't bring it up ever. If you two meet and watch movies or whatever sex will likely happen anyway. Doesn't matter if you plan or not.

If you want to arouse a woman via text without triggering ASD I suggest you read....

The Sexual Key- J.D. Fuentes

Very highly recommended.