O.K. This one is a bit out of the ordinary.

I have a friend at work. A girl which has friendzoned me. Our boss is pretty much an asshole and has demoted her after trying to game her. Basically, she was her secretary, he gamed her, she did not fell for it, he demoted her to a desk ckerk job on the most unpleasent office and hired a new girl for her place. Of course she took it personally and wants to get back at him. Also, obviously, she does not like her replacement very much.

The thing is, she is very childish and kinda spoiled. She usually tries to enroll me on her crazy plans and this time she is thinking about infecting their computers with a virus, or spamming their e-mails, or having porn magazine subscriptions sent to the office, or something else. Her situation is already precarious as it is and if she does it, she may end up getting fired.

I've been trying to talk her out of it, and she acused me of being a turncoat. I was trying to use parenting states theory, btw. Our last talk was something like so:

She was complaining she wated her old position back and that she wanted to kick out her replacement. Said she probably uses the phone for personal calls and that we should get the call list and send it to the board.

Me: "You should have been more careful. Many people warned you you'd get burned. But you will not harm *replacement* for something that is not her fault."

She: "You are turning on me..."

Me: "No, I'm telling you what you need to hear instead of what you want to hear to avoid you getting into even more trouble. And if after all we've been through you still question my loyalty, I won't even try to change your mind."

She: "How do you explain *our boss's* change of mind?"

Me: "I don't know, and it's irrelevant. You are talking about fucking over *replacement* in a vain atempt to get your old job back. I'm not even questioning the morality. Just think about what will happen if it backfires."

She: "I'm not talking about fucking her over. You are defending her so much. Maybe it will backfire on you" (her replacement is very ambitious and we both agree she is not to be trusted)

Me: "I'm not defending her, I'm defending you, you dummy! I'm trying to avoid you getting into even more trouble (the elevator reached my floor by then) We'll talk later."

A few minutes later she texted me:

She: "If I got into trouble it was *our boss's* fault. He gave me loose rope and then turned the game around... Even today he provoked me and I did not respond. Is it that strange that I am sad with this shit? I don't want to talk more about it. I'm sick of all this!"

Me: "O.K. I understand that you are upset and you know you can always count on me to listen to you. The question is, I honestly think you are on thin ice and it may end badly for you if you cross the line. If you really think I'm turning, think about all the situations when I had your back. I think at least I deserve the benefit of the doubt. I understand that you are sad and furious, I would be too if I was in your place, all I ask is that you do not do anything rash. If you want to talk later give me a call."

None of us has said anything since. I'm giving her time to vent out hoping she comes around and understands that I have her best interests at heart.

Now, how the fuck do I handle that situation?

The optimal result would be to talk her out of it and get out of the friendzone. Although that is a one in a million chance.

The next best thing would be to talk her out of it and keep her as a friend.

If all else fails, I am willing to risk having her mad at me if that means I have a chance to stop her doing something she might regret.

I know this is not the best place to ask, but it's my only resource for knowledge on how to manipulate people. So, does anyone have a clue?

Just mind your own business.

Indeed. You will get yourself fired for nothing. You will not get the girl.

Can't you see? The girl is frustrated and whether or not she is right, her actions/plans are definitely not right. She knows this. For her you are just a pawn in her battle against the boss. Nothing more.

Possible scenario: you and her both get fired. She finds a new job, with nice collegueas and boss. She will have a wonderful time and she will forget about you. YOu are just someone from her old work. But now she is having fun at her new work, and doesn't care about the past. You are without work, sitting on the couch, desperately looking for new work....alone..

In a situation like this I'd simply go down the route of:

Me: You may be morally right but business isn't morally right. I know that's frustrating but be the better person and don't sink to their level. Apart from that, leave me out of it. If you want to fight a battle you'll ultimately lose then go ahead. If you want to forget, grab a drink and have some fun instead. Give me a shout.

guys telling him to mind his own business is wrong.


HE CLEARLY STATES SHES A FRIEND

Helping her out is still the wrong option.

Just take the higher ground and state to her that you hope she does the same.

People make these mistakes in life. If she makes it, she's a fool and needs to be able to make that mistake to learn in life.

If she listens to him then she's become a better person.

There is no long term win here for him/her if he helps her.

Thank you for all the replies. It eventually turned out fine.

Next day we barely spoke. She was acting all cold, probably expecting me to say I'm sorry and I'll do what she wants or some other beta crap.

By day two her replacement called in sick. She was still acting cold with what I assume was some version of bitch shield. Then she finaly said «Your friend called in sick today». I said «It's not "my friend". I already explained why I said what I said and I will not tell you again.» A few minutes later she called me to go to the cafeteria. We had a nice civil chat, I explained I understand she is upset, that they stabbed her in the back, and I'd be pissed off too if it had happened to me. I told her she is already on thin ice and it may only end up badly for her and that she have to be cold enough to understand when she can and can't win, bite her tongue and wait for an oportunity. She eventually said I'm right.

I don't know as far as gaming goes, but we sure came out of it with a stronger bond.

This issue is settled. Gaming her, well, the only reason I bother is because we are together 8 hours a day and I think she is girfriend material, so there is no reason not to game her.

So if anyone has any tips on turning this to my advantage, feel free to chip in.

Dude, you have oneitis. You mentioned yourself that you are friendzoned. Come on mate, you are wasting your time.