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Knowing if you caused disrespectful LTR behavior in another person or not, and how to fix it. I've read freeze outs are not to be utilized in LTRs. I can't tell the difference between a joke and disrespect from a woman.
For example, my girl never flakes, gives me compliments at times, is never late, doesn't use her phone too much with me, doesn't hang out with other guys, futures me, the sex is initiated by her most of the time and its great/often, ect......
BUT
I had to put her in her place with insults. She used to say a few things like "you are not even macho! you had me tie your shoes once!" after her friend told her that other girls hit on me and find me manly.
I used to dismiss remarks like this or agree and amplify to make it seem ridiculous. "you arern't even macho!" I would make a feminine gesture and laugh......well this certainly did not make them stop
So I told her (in a calm, but firm tone and not angry) that insults or snide remarks will push me away and they dissappoint me when you say them. I want a healthy relationship with a woman, not necessarily you if you can't do this.
For the most part they stopped, but she will occasionally say things like:
(my friend says i am a good dancer in your video jokingly)
(I say yeah jokingly)
(she says "yeah, for an epileptic!)
OR
Her: take two pills!
Me: nope just 1
Her: ok
(hours later when she took 2)
Her: I took two, because i'm not a wimp
But when I call her out in a calm but stern manner, she says she was just joking or i'm sensitive or something along those lines. She will apologize after I ask her if she wants to reconsider what she said.
Basically she is immature and makes these comments to everyone I've ever seen her interact with. Don't know whether to shrug em off PUA style which never worked for me, go full macho and say shut the fuck up, or calmly keep telling her what is expected of her like I have been.
You have a high and low relationship, i've had these a few times. Sometimes things are going great, sexually, physically, and verbally, until she says something stupid, or you do something inane. You can go about it in several ways.... When my girl gets out of line with her behavior, i'll give her a negative reaction such as ignoring her. This works when you guys just start going out, its shows her that you treat specific behaviors in a bad way... and she'll note not to act this way, BUT SOMETIMES SHE JUST WANTS TO TEASE YOU BECAUSE SHE LOVES IT ( take note of that, maybe thats what your girl is doing ) ... Another thing you can do is show her how she looks when she acts this way. Record her saying something stupid, and later show it to her, and have a heart to heart. " Listen baby, I think relationships are all about improving each others lives, and I think that the way you react sometimes verbally isn't necessary" And show her the footage. She can choose to react again like an ass, and you can prove it to her again, but its not until she acknowledges it on both a LOGICAL and EMOTIONAL level that she will actually interpret what you're saying.
Lastly, make sure that you don't reciprocate the behavior. If she says something bad don't follow her with a similar retort.. Its like a kid thats annoying you by saying stupid things.. the best reaction is no reaction. Ignore the behavior and it should vanish. If I didnt answer your question, please reply. Best of luck on your excursion to maintaining your girl haha.
BTW if you're all into having a LTR, read the way of the superior man by David Deida. Its a great read.
CHAT