I have a serious question and I'm going to give you every single detail that you need to know about me to answer it including my Facebook.

Get ready to have to meditate and smoke blunt lol.

This is my question. How do I gain sexual confidence? I downloaded about 30-40 pick up artist books and read maybe 5 completely.
I have a gf who has had sex maybe 100-150 times with 3 guys she claims and she's NOT allowed to touch me.
I guess I have performance anxiety because I have only had sex once 3 years ago and I turn 23 on 3/30 she turned 20 in February. We have phone sex and sext each other that's it.

I just found out that I'm a sex hater and jealous and trying to meditate out of that but every time I hear the word sex or try to read about it I can feel the chemicals in my brain lower my energy. I feel sad.

My plan was to just cheat and see where that goes but I don't have any game skills . I stole my gf from my ex best friend of more than 10 years and that was over a 3 way phone call.

It hurts.
I probably need professional help with this, no health insurance and I want to know where and how to start until I can take the necessary steps to make that happen.

Other info:
I'm a narcissist
Very very needy
Mommy issues (neglect and verbal abuse)
Was never allowed to go outside
Spent 90% of 10-18 at home
Trust issues
Never been invited to a party clubbing
Never befriended those that I wanted to befriend
Social skills 1-10 a 2
Some would say that I'm socially retarded and even borderline aspergers
Me and my gf both have codependency issues and bi polar disorder
Drinking problems
I think I'm either a sex addict or addicted to porn or both
I'm bi sexual or something (won't touch a man ever but there is a physical attraction, genetics)
All the classic signs of bpd lol
Was molested via porn watching with an adult when I was 9 and he was about 20ish

I consider myself fairly handsome I m a 7.3 she's an 8.5-9.2 her weight goes up and down and her skin is kinda bleh.
My parents are both 8s and my dad's bi moved away when I was 5 and I don't have a relationship with him less than 2 calls a month.

I want to be able to feel secure with leaving my gf and be able to have whatever girl I want. She's too secure that I won't leave her and replace her. She's a dominate feminine energy. A bossy dumb girl. Grounded whatever you want to call it.

I'm a 7.3 because I'm 5'9" and 125 pounds if I was 6'2" and 200lbs I would be an 8.5-9, small penis.
My first and last girlfriend was a sociopath cheated on me everyday and we never had sex we dated for 2 years and knew each other for 6. 15-21 dated 18-20. I need to be touched that's probably why I drank smoked and drugged so much besides the bpd thing.
My social security number is lol jk.

But seriously

I am going to get professional help when this insurance thing comes through. I promise.
Wow that felt good
See you're helping already lol

That's it
Please help
Thx
-Aaron the Aries

https://www.facebook.com/datdodea1

That sounds like YEARS AND YEARS of therapy. If you aren't comfortable with the girlfriend who's currently putting up with your shit, what makes you think you'd be comfortable fucking around on her? Also, why fuck around on her when you've never even fucked her? Also, why are you with a girl you apparently hate? Also, I think you are a bit OCD (her skin is blah?).

It sounds like you have childhood issues that are preventing you from proper intimacy so you are taking whatever love you can find, but you can't fully give yourself to it.

You obviously keep people at arms length and the fact that you'd fuck over your best friend for his girlfriend, then not even be intimate with her says a whole hell of a lot.

I don't think you're a bad person at heart, but I think you're making toxic decisions that are hurting the ones around you.

3 days left on Obamacare, dude. Sign up. You really need to see someone.

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