March 21st
I recently had a chat with an old mentor of mine who is a practicing Buddhist and works as a marriage counselor. He actually used to dabble in PUA back in the Ross Jeffries days. I have been telling him about my game exploits and development. This dude is kind of what I aspire to grow into right now. I might even go back to school to become a therapist. He gave me some insightful advice.
So I found myself sitting at the bar with VP. Another Thursday night. After seeing many of the same faces, and being in many of the same bars, I had developed a stigma towards myself. Why do I go out 4-5 times a week to pull chicks? Have I become a sleazeball bent on gaining notches in my belt? What do the bouncers and bartenders think of me? Now that I am not working a day job, game has literally become my life.
I asked VP what the goal is now. He said he wanted to get to 50 lays before the end of 2014. I asked him "So once you fuck that 50th chick...will you be happy? Will you feel like you accomplished something?" You will be the same man on the 49th lay...but it's when the odometer hits 50 that you will become something. He laughed and said no...he it will just make him feel like the shit. That right there is what our pursuit of game has largely been. Self-validation. I especially felt the need to show myself that I can pull the girls that I couldn't in high school. I had been pitiful my entire life with girls.
I think this process of shameless self-validating is not an entirely unhealthy cause. Guys like me need a few notches in the belt. I remember gaming this one chick I knew from high school at a country bar not too long ago. I danced with her and went for the makeout. It went fine. No rejection. She hit me up on Facebook later and got my number. I felt like the shit. Freshman year of high school I wouldn't have been able to say a word to her. She was a popular girl and I was a scrub.
After that, I feel like my self-validating goals just evolve. The bar continues to get raised. I want to pull bartenders now. Shot girls. Strippers. Actresses. Michelle Obama. My ego's stomach is never full...it just expands to accommodate more food. I've pulled waitresses. I've pulled a chick who was a stripper (only over the summer...she was a seasonal stripper). I have a day 2 with a cocktail waitress from the country bar I go to tomorrow.
I'm still not satisfied. I turn back to VP. I tell him how everybody who works in the bar industry probably wonder who the fuck we are. I guess their opinions don't matter, but at the same time,
I was questioning who I was. I recalled what my mentor friend (let's refer to him as Yoda) had to tell me. He said that he felt it was healthy that I discovered game. He suggested that I incorporate game into all areas of my life, and just tweak it to fit the situation. This is something I have been thinking about for some time now, but I would push it away for the instant gratification of pulling makeout hat tricks on a Friday night.
I told him about all the flakes I had encountered along the way, and how I still feel the sting of rejection. I told him how my deepest goal of gaming was to learn the tricks of the trade so that I could land the dream girl and build an emotional connection. I understand that I should be myself...but what about all the other guys who are "being themselves"? Any given girl that I would want to date is going to have a little harem of guys trying to get at her. What makes
me different? This is the question that would fuel my AA. Of course this chick will blow me out. I am approach number 10 of that night. What makes me special?
Yoda told me that everyone is needy...just to differing degrees. Neediness is not unhealthy. How do you deal with rejection and flakes? This is going to sound pretty gay and new-agey...but self-love. If you love yourself...no one can take that love away from you. If you get blown out, you come to the realization that you are still the same bad ass dude. A girl can tell you that "you are a loser with no friends that only a mother could love" (this is a quote from a blowout of mine). Or a girl can fuck your brains out and tell you that you are the most attractive guy she has ever met (a different experience). In either situation, your view of yourself should be the same. This is what guru's refer to as "state". It's self love.
So pity the flakes for cock blocking themselves from a great experience. What makes me different from all the other guys trying to get at the girl? Not a damn thing. We are all just trying to get through our own realities before we die. Why am I even thinking about what makes me different? Why am I questioning my own self-worth? I have proven that I can do shit that other guys dream of. What makes
her different?
So I sat with VP and came to a conclusion. I want as many people as possible to know my name. I want to leave a legacy. I want to make a difference in other people's lives. I want to become a guru and write a book like Tony D
member147754.html or Neil Strauss. I want to fall so madly in love with myself that I no longer have
needs...only
wants. My pursuit of game is far beyond getting empty lays. It is a straight up spiritual journey. I guess you can say that my goal is to reach some semblance of Nirvana. I have found that the greatest limiting belief you can instill onto yourself is that of self-infatuation.
So me and VP instituted some rules that we abide by now. Every venue we enter, we have to each open 3 people. If we are on the street between venues, we have to open 1 individual a piece. If we are in a venue and there is a set (mixed or not) within 3 feet, we have to open within 3 seconds. These guidelines (like nearly all the other techniques in PUA) serve as training wheels to get us on the path to Nirvana. I probably sound like a ranting lunatic right now but I'm serious. I want to get as close to a Nirvana-like state as possible in this lifetime.
The rest of the night we integrated this social take-over approach. We had a great time. Guys bought us drinks, VP was macking out with randoms, and I met a cutie from Delaware who was in town for a conference. If you want to read about the night in more detail, hit up VP's blog "Game-Seven nights a week". He gave a more in depth summary. I mostly wanted write about the deeper elements of how my game has changed and where I want it to go.
I gtg. Day 2 with Delaware cutie. Stay posted.