Hi Guys,

Been in an LTR (well gonna call it that, I've been going out with my gf for 6 months now) and noticed over the last two months or so she has been acting up a bit more. The situation is I know shes talking to one of my friends a lot on facebook, I'm fine with this but only up to a certain point, rather stupidly of me my friend had a gathering 2 weeks ago and left his facebook up, my friend happened to be sending of random messages to other people as a joke when he clicked on the chat with my girlfriend and they have about 8000 messages between eachother (they met mid January). Thats a lot if you put it into perspective that I have about 19,000 with her. That night I calmly confronted him about it and he insisted they were just friends, and I left it at that.

I don't want to sit around and be a chump as to be honest, in my eyes I see this as being disrespectful and I'm not gonna take shit. I've read this post how-to-get-rid-of-the-guy-friends-vt117544.html (which provided some useful info, though looking at it I should have acted faster).

I'm still holding my usual frame and being the person I was when I first met her, but I wanted to get the forums opinion/advice on this?

Well if you've been with her 6 months and he's known her for 3. Isn't it normal that he has half as many messages as you. 8,000 messages is still a lot though!

Yeah, though I've known her from July, we were FWB till September.

Am I just old fashioned or does 19,000 or 8,000 msgs ALOT? Heck I was in a LDR for a year and I guess we probably got to 3,000 texts and about 100 fb messages and I felt like we talked alot. My philosophy is call rather than text and see rather than call.

Anyways has she seemed different?

You say you've confronted him, however have you confronted her? How close are you and said friend?

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Razorface

SPAM: Razor-face

I don't quite understand your problem. I have over 50k message count with several girls who are only friends with me. This is nothing quite suspicious... I call on what neo is calling on. Is there any strange activity that suggests something is going on? (ie. lack of sexual interest on her side, suspiciously staying late, not telling you or saying foggy things about where she is, etc...)

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"Bros before hoes"

Relationship guide: extended-relationship-guide-vt170687.html

http://wayoftheplayer.com/become-a-player/instinct

He wants to hit it.

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

^^ Agree, most (all straight) guys would never message a girl that much unless he wanted to hit it.

It's not the quantity but the quality of the messages. What's being said?

Either way he wants to fuck her.

Nothing seems to suggest anything is going on at the moment, apart from a slight decrease in sexual interest though I'm putting that down to spending my time focusing on exams. I was talking to my one of my friends today and apparently the friend involved in this had said he would never plan on getting with her, even if I broke up with her... Although the advice here seems to suggest otherwise, so I'm unsure whether he's talking BS. From the sounds of it he is talking to her everyday more than I do, obviously I'm busy with hobbies etc and have other things to do at times but that closeness between them is whats getting to feel...

THE GOOD, THE BAD, AND THE UGLY

THE BAD;

He is lying to his friends, you, and himself. He wants to bone your girl, or he simply would not be putting in that much effort.

THE GOOD;

He is cementing himself into the 'friend zone' destined to become an orbiter, even after you married her one day, he would likely come over and mow the lawn for her.

THE UGLY;

She ENJOYS the attention. It feeds her ego, that's why she keeps it going. It keeps the faith in her mind, should YOU ever falter, she is confidant she would have options.

BUT what do YOU do about it?

NOTHING

Just be the slick swaggery Mother Fucker you've always been ...

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

^Nailed it. I second this.

_________________
"Bros before hoes"

Relationship guide: extended-relationship-guide-vt170687.html

http://wayoftheplayer.com/become-a-player/instinct

Too good!

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Razorface

SPAM: Razor-face

I gotta disagree here....

Guys and girls can be friends. A guy and girl can text for days and it can be easily be nothing. They could be sharing jokes, gossiping, talking their problems, laughing at an old story or just jibberish. Many women today send texts all day to their female friends about random stuff and some guys are into that.

Just because a guy and girl are loling for days doesn't mean they're falling in love or connecting or "getting attracted." It's the PUA fallacy that a girl laughing is this Indicator or Interest, implying it gets her attracted to you. That's why you find posts about guys who get "IOI's" from a female friend (ie she laughs at his jokes and touch him jokingly) then get pissed when she's not into him. Girls laugh with their guy friends, and can "kino" friends and it doesn't mean they like them like that or are getting attracted. It's just how women communicate.

Him messaging her doesn't mean he likes her as more than a friend and doesn't mean it's anything on her end. Newsflash, many girls have a personality. Not every guy is trying to bang every girl. A girl can find a guy funny and interesting yet he doesnt possess the characteristics she's attracted to = just friends. And a guy can find a girl hot yet genuinely enjoy her personality. It's pickup that seperates guys into "Players" who bang every girl, and AFCs who WANT and TRY to bang girls but can't. No, many average guys don't want to bang, have girls they are committed to, focused on goals that are bigger than pussy. I've never understood how there are so many threads with guys who get friendzoned, but the consensus is that if your girlfriend has a male friend they're eventually going to bang.

If she's looking for other guys, if she likes your friend she likes a few other guys as well. Figure out your trust issues with your girl. If he likes her and she knows she's doing the same with other guys. If they both like each other and convos are non platonic then she's doing it with other guys.

Santa IS real!

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.