I actually have two questions

Context:

About 4 weeks ago I started using a dating app called Tinder. For those of you who don't know what it is, it's an app where the user, male or female, swipes through pictures of whatever gender they're interest in, and "likes" or "dislikes" a persons profile based on pictures and a short tagline. It's basically an app similar to "hot or not". Anyways, I was matched with one girl who messaged me first. I got her number, asked her to hangout but she was leaving for Cancun the same day we were matched. I asked her if she wanted to hangout in downtown Toronto (which is 1 hour and 45 minutes away from her) and she said "that would be nice" but that she had to see what her work schedule was like when she got back to Canada. When she came back, she ended up being sick, missed a few midterms and had to make them up the following weeks. We have been talking on and off for 4 weeks. By week three, because she was being a bit of a flakey texter (i.e. not responding, giving me short one worded answers) I sent her a text saying:

Me: "Look, I don't like playing games. What is this?".

Her: "Can't we just be friends... why do we have to put a label on it"

I basically took this as getting friend-zoned. This was the first time i was genuinely interested in a girl that i wanted to be in a relationship with. So I took this first time getting friend zone pretty hard. We were also talking quite a bit the first couple days she got back. She even sent me selfies and pictures. I actually tried to get her to send me nudes but the best i got was her in a bikini lol.

Today, i texted her. I opened with a screen shot of an emoji app where you have to guess what the word is. I switched the conversation to asking for her opinion on relationship advice for my friend. After talking about my friends creepy stalker for a bit, the text conversation ended up going in this direction:

Me: "How about you and me"

Her: "What about you and me?"

Me: "Will we ever be more then just friends"

Her: "I don't know.. one thing i can tell you is that i am in no position nor do i want to be in a relationship right now. I just got out of one not long ago". (She was in a long distance relationship with some Korean guy who lives in California. She lives in Canada but they would visit each other... i she went to Cali twice and he went to Canada twice as well. They broke up because the long distance thing was getting to complicated)

Me: "I read that like 4 times. Not sure if that's a "i'm not ready right now but keep pursuing me and something might happen" or as "just move on"".

Her: " It just means that I am looking to make some friends and that's it right now. The possibility of it becoming something more is unknown because I'm not in that state of mind. I can't really say much beyond that..."

Me: "I hate girls". (I know, AFC, pussy, I don't know why i said this... spur of the moment thought)

I know i'm having severe one-itis right now, but i'm not sure if i should keep talking to this girl (might have screwed it up too much already), or if i should just move on. What confuses me if that when i asked her if we will ever be more then friends, her answer was "i don't know...". I asked one of my friends, he said this is a girls version of rejecting me politely.

Question #1:

I really want this girl and if there is a possibility for us to be more then just friends... i would like to know how i can do that. Should i try to meet up with her? (I've never been on a date) Face Time her instead of text her? (I've also never Face Timed a girl before) Freeze her out? Drop her and move on?

Question #2:

I have around 45 matches on Tinder... but a lot of the girls are unattractive. There are a lot of hot white girls on this app but i guess i'm not attractive to them. I'm Asian btw. Anyone have any experience with tinder and getting matched with hot white girls? The girl i'm talking about above is basically the hottest girl I've ever seen (i know i'm putting her on a pedestal). But i'd like to increase my matches with other hot white girls.

have you met this girl?

Hi BITmixit, thanks for the reply. I haven't met her in person yet. She had been busy catching up with school because she ended up missing a couple of mid terms. She told me she ended up having Salmonella which was diagnosed 2-3 weeks after she came back from her trip. She is also a 2 hour bus ride from where i live, i'm not sure if the bus ride would be worth it.

Okay first of all...she's not interested. I'll go into detail with your post but to sum up you came in way too fast and way too hard especially as you haven't met her. I'd drop this girl and take the advice I provide below as you seriously need to build inner game, awareness and such.
First of all Tinder should primarily be used for hooking up. It's only rare cases where the two people get together. The media likes to elaborate on the success stories involved with Tinder because it bigs the app up and gets it used more. The ratio of relationships to hookups/ONS is VERY MUCH in the favour of ONS. Use the app as a "I want to get laid easily." I don't personally use it as I find it shallow but if I did I'd use this routine:

1) Tap like,
2) Send a funny/neggy message.
3) Wait for response.
4) Tell her what I'd do to her if we met up. Something simple like "Meet up with me, next wednesday. You'll be cumming so loud I'll have to cover your mouth."
Don't ask. Semi-tell. Simple "Lets do something today. Gonna get to the beach, 2pm."
Her flakey texting is a sign that you're showing more investment then her. Investment should be equal or mostly her. You're mindset is also completely wrong. You're concentrating on when she replies when you haven't even seen her in person let alone fucked her.
This would work if you'd been fucking her for a bit and she started playing games. You sent this before you'd even met her which shouts out "IM NEEDY" to her. A question like this isn't fun for her. She isn't even playing games, just living her life and you're asking "what are we?" when you haven't even kissed her. There's ZERO emotional connection for her.

Before you send a text, read it back to yourself and think in your current situation with a girl and you were her and you received that...what would you think. Because I'd think "What the fuck?"
Contradictory sentence. She's letting you down nicely. Read between the lines mate. Look.

CAN'T WE JUST BE FRIENDS <She's literally telling you she just wants to be friends.

WHY DO WE HAVE TO PUT A LABEL ON IT <She think you're taking it way too seriously and she's correct.

This is the sort of response you need to give to this sort of behaviour.

Her: Can't we just be friends...why do we have to put a label on it?

Me: I'm afraid I can't be friends with someone that I want to fuck ;O
WHY DO YOU WANT TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A GIRL YOU HAVEN'T MET!!? A girl never friendzones a guy. A guy puts himself into the friendzone by behaving like you are. You automatically having a "Oh god I want this girl i haven't even met" devalues you both inner game and outer game. She's done nothing to earn your attention apart from look good and text you.
The most unattractive sentence in the history of the human race. In her mind, you simply don't have any other options. THINK BEFORE YOU SEND SHIT LIKE THIS. Have you eve heard of ANY couple you know go. "OH I got with him cos he sent me a text asking me if we would ever be more then friends."
You're getting too serious, too fast. I assume you're young. Shit like "So whats happening between me and you" is for when you're much older, when you need to nail it down faster because you're old and worried about being lonely.

Also girls don't want you to pursue them because because you've told them to. They want you to pursue them because you want them. You've handed the control over to her and she doesn't want that because YOU'RE ARE THE MAN.
She's perfectly right here. It's unknown because she hasn't met you, she doesn't know you, she doesn't know what she wants from you, what you want from her. blah blah blah. It's all irrelevant because she HASN'T MET YOU. You haven't met her, k-closed, f-closed. Nothing. She's not invested enough for a conversation like this. Simple.
All of your conversation has been AFC behaviour. Now she just thinks you're a dickhead because you've reacted to what she's said. Instant turn off. She's made you angry by telling you she's not looking for anything serious = pressure on her = unattraction. for god sake THINK before you send something. Stop letting your emotions control you.

YOU ARE MALE. CONTROL YOUR EMOTIONS. Women let their emotions control them because their emotions are much stronger then ours.

There's a reason Women find it attractive when a man RARELY shows emotion (weddings, funerals, blahblahblah) because of the time he's her solid rock. Her safety net, somebody who looks after her BECAUSE she is so emotional all the time. When her solid rock breaks down like at a funeral or a wedding SHE KNOWS that what is causing that emotional outburst from him MUST be massive and thus SHE feels like she has to nurture him and such. Be a solid rock with women, burst through their barriers and ONLY show emotion when the time calls for it.
MAJOR ONEITIS.
Stop talking to her. Get over your oneitis. Improve your inner and outer game MAJOR then hit her up again if you want to. No girl is unobtainable.
Your friend is correct.
Drop her, move on.

I don't use Tinder or like it especially for finding a girl you might want a relationship with. Personally I think it lowers your game as you won't make the effort to go out, meet girls, get numbers. Purely because its easier through Tinder.

An example. My housemate got a match, same city we live in. Hot girl too, looked like a good fuck. We were out on a pub crawl when he goes "Woah...there's that girl...from Tinder man" and there she was, queuing to get into a club. Here's the options he had.

Option A: Boss it, go up to her. Literally could have said "Hey I recognize you, you're a match on my Tinder. Listen I'm not really into the whole Tinder thing but whats your number?" = she either gives you it or she doesn't. You lose nothing but you gain the inner game momentum that you were the fuckin man.

Option B: You go home. You gain nothing. You lose nothing.

This is pretty much spot on. Relationships can come from Tinder. I have heard of a number in the same way two people meet in a club and start a relationship. Its what you can make of it.

You ballsed this up no end. Said everything you shouldn't and put yourself in the friendzone category.

Act like you are the prize, not vice versa, and see how woman get addicted to you.

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here to learn.. thats all.

Hey mate I was gonna offer you some advice because I've seen a nearly identical situation happen with a guy I used to be friends with, but BIT said really all that needs to be said.

I can tell you this though I understand your feeling I had a similar situation. I found this hot girl on pof when I was experimenting with that hit it off asked for her # didn't get it. Thing is your emotuionally charged towards her if you weren't you wouldn't talk to her. I had a convo when I didn't get her # it stung a bit. The key is not getting hung up especially on a girl you've never met before. There's a ton of other girls on tinder drop her move on, and find a new one. That may be easier said then done, but you're not gonna get anywhere with this girl if you keep after her give her some space, and let her possibly come back to you.

Going by your screen name I'm guessing you're part of the Toronto Muay Thai community? Feel free to hit me up on pm I'm in your general area if you're looking for guys to sarge TO with my buddies and I hit it up regularily.
Also for Tinder game look up Adam Lyons on youtube he has a solid step by step guide to picking up on tinder.

Anyway hope that helps good luck!!

I agree that relationships can come from Tinder but it shouldn't be primary aim of using Tinder more of a bonus/side option if you get me.

Tinder should be used for hooking up ALONGSIDE going out, meeting girls, getting numbers, blahblahblah.

Here's an example including my housemate again.

Tinderwise, he gets a fair few matches. Met 2-3 girls off of it, shagged 2 of them I think. The other one was just weird. The girls were alright...one was a bit chavvy but hey not my place to judge what he likes. Anyway V day, he was a bit down as myself and most of the lads in our friend group had dates. He joined the girls from the house to go out.

HB9 was with with them. He got lucky (Her boyfriend had just broken up with her = rebound fuck) and he got with her...then he went all AFC on her. Sent massive texts after sleeping with her once telling her he wanted to see her, spend time with her, that her work was amazing. All that bollocks. In the end she told him she wasn't interested in anything serious and thus not in him.

2 days later she started officially dating another guy.

Use Tinder to get laid easily with no effort. If you want to get good at chatting to girls, understanding shit tests and push/pull then go out and talk to them. Hell you don't even need a forum like this, just go for it.

Ok, this is pretty much the most AFC thing I have ever read. You are obsessing over a girl, THAT YOU HAVE NEVER EVEN SEEN. She is not interested, as she tried to make super obvious without hurting your feelings. The right play here is to MOVE ON. It is not only the right play, but the ONLY play. You have already used up all your dignity with her and came off as so needy you cannot possibly recover from this.

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http://www.joshsway.com -- dating, online dating, fitness, fashion, and more...

Hey BITmixit, thanks for the reply and for breaking everything down. My cousin gave me the analogy of "going full court press in the first quarter," which i thought was funny and describes my situation just as you have. I've been reading about pick up for approximately 2 years now. I've read the game, watched mysteries VH1 series, purchased rules of the game, and even subscribed to simple pick ups project go when they were only charging 5 dollars for their uncut pick up videos. My recent read is "Models" by Mark Manson which talked about inner game and having the right intentions, being less invested, etc. I thought i had a pretty good idea of how game works, the different techniques, and how demonstrating high value works but i guess i'm having a really hard time applying it.
This is kind of what i used on this girl, except i wasn't so sexual with it and i just tried to set up a meet up. My intentions were to get into a relationship. The reason i tried to move so fast is because she liked me on Tinder (liked the way i looked) and i thought that was how relationships worked - girl likes guy, guy likes girl, talk a little bit and bam. Now i know it's not that easy. Also, i haven't ever been in a real relationship. The last girl i kind of dated was back in grade 9. I met her from a mutual friend and all we did was text... didn't even meet up once but we called said we were in a relationship.

Unfortunately, with the Tinder girl, she got sick after she came back to Cancun and didn't want to meet up until she felt better. As a result, i was gaming via text. I used the 5 question game, went broad and then more sexual, which she was receptive to. I even tried the cube game on her but i eventually ran out of routines to use. My goal was to get a nude but the best i got was the bikini pic and a couple selfies.

It's hard because she was the prettiest girl i have talked to in a while. Also, because she didn't want to meet up for a while, i still wanted to talk to her and get to know her. Should my mindset be to meet up with her, escalate with kino, then try to sleep with her?

All in all, that was a harsh, but well needed reality check. Though, i'm not sure where to go from here. To me there are so many different things i need to learn. I think i will start with approaching my first girl.

Hey gunfighter, thanks for the advice and feedback. First time being friend zoned so i just need time to get over it. I been doing Muay Thai, on and off, since grade 10 up until last September. I was part of Ultimate Martial Arts in Brampton with Kru Paul. I'm 21 and haven't sarged at all due to my extreme approach anxiety. I'm a very sweaty guy. Hands, forehead, armpits, feet, my hands are sweating as i type this. This makes my anxiety worse. I've seen that Adam Lyons video, that guy was amazing.

Thanks! Will start looking into shit tests and push/pull before i start approaching.

Lol, damn it.

Damn man small world lol. I fought on the same cards as Joe and Troy before back in the early days, and shot the shit with them at the weigh ins. I know Kru Paul my Kru is good friends with him and comes down to spar with Joe whenever he's getting ready for a fight.

Anyway mate I used to have EXTREME social anxiety. To the point I would go to a sports bar to watch a fight I'd get to the door my hands would start shaking so bad I'd turn around and go home. Little by little I got over it I started by going into tim hortons to get a coffee and sit down and drink it even that was hard to do the 1st couple times, but I eventually got passed it now I'm super social go anywhere talk to anyone. Basically what I'm saying is only way to get passed it is to do it, but it helps if you have someone that can help you along the way. I'll shoot you a pm you can add me on bbm if you want and come out with my buddy and I we sarge TO failry often day game clubs bars we've both been doing it a while, and have our game down pretty good. So if you're interested hit me up.