ive learned a lot browsing this forum for years and improving my game. I finally found "the one" but sadly if it doesnt work out i am willing to walk away and try again.

Ive been working with this girl for 2 months now. Ive established rapport and comfort. She gives me plenty of IOIs. So far i focused on boyfriend destroyers and lots of kino and rapport. 2 weeks ago i used to get a lot of IOIs and shes been craving for my attention a lot. When she stopped giving giving me a lot of IOIs (initiating texts, flirting @ work). i might have made a mistake by inserting little small thoughtful notes on the soup that i gave her when she was sick or a sweet goodnight message -once. But im only sweet to her when shes sick or have a period, the rest of the days cocky and funny - not giving much attention. Before this 2 week lack of IOIs that i used to get, she was having a lot of probs with her bf. She would cry to me or ask me what she should do and i slipped into her mind is that she it is more of an obsession with him than love and she completely agrees and she even said "i think my feelings are more of an obsession than love, i know i should what i should do". So basically my opinion is important to her. Whenever i ran bf destroyers she would tell me his flaws and the imperfections of their relationship. When my coworker talked to her, he said to her that im really serious about her (ive never direct bout what i feel but she knows i like her at some point) and her reply to my coworker was "idk what i should say to my bf". She wants to leave him but feelings of guilt, anxiety and shame is preventing her. Until this past 2 weeks came, she and her bf started to become in good terms again and she suddenly stopped noticing my efforts.

The girl is 22y/o 9.5HB, living with her parents, 1 sis, has 2 degrees and currently dont know what career to pursue, she is an honor student works 2 jobs and have very few close friends. absolutely not a party girl, more of a nurturer and love animals a lot. Extremely faithful, describes to me the only tome she felt she was cheating was HOLDING THIS GUYS HAND that she was attracted to at a party and that made her feel really guilty. She's been with her bf for 5 years. FIRST bf ever. She met him in college and lives in her hometown which is 5 mins away from mine. One of significant things she told me about their relationship is that he stopped trying really fast. 2 months in the relationship he basically became too comfortable and stopped making efforts to make her happy sort of get used her being around knowing she wont leave him. Hes been verbally abusive to her on some occasions, doesnt have the same interests as her but she is convinced theyre really compatible. Didnt come to her graduation -huge deal for her. They've BROKEN UP ONCE. He doesnt drive and doesnt work because of his medical condition, he gets seizures apparently. (she realizes that his condition puts a burden on her physically)

She works overnight with me, mon - thurs. Ive been mostly distant to her but constantly gaming her so far i am focusing on more future projections and kino e.g. playing with her hair etc. and i am only sweet to her when she was sick or having a period like bringing her soup 2x when she had a cold. I am graduating in december and will have a stable career being a nurse, I dj raves, a lil party animal but ive been focusing more on shcool lately. ive tried to make her see me as the "perfect bf' goal oriented, enjoys the same hobbies as her, romantic, poetic, outgoing, spontaneous and confident. Lately, while i'm still the same when with her in person at work distant-caring only if needed-cocky/funny, ive been falling short and acting a little needy ONLY DURING TEXT GAME since the she became in good terms in her bf. i would text her more often but with moderation just because i dont want her to lose the attraction that ive started. Before she used to love getting genuine compliments from me, saying nobody ever told me that before (compliment)and thats really really sweet thank you for the soup -when i gave her a soup. But now ever since she became in good terms with him she doesnt text me as often, tag me on posts on fb, would only talk about work during text game, she doesnt reply instantly like before and sometimes she wouldnt respond back during text game. She stopped using FB stickers(chat) -we used to do that a lot b4... ive basically noticed she became more narrow minded with her bf and trying to isolate my attempts and her feelings with me. She still would flirt back when i would flirt with her at work like surprise tickle her with both hands at her waist when shes not watching.

I REALLY WANT this girl. Shes very smart, hot, extremely faithful, good family background, romantic, innocent - really one of a kind. We havent really hang outside work coz she works too much, ive made attempts but failed due to reasons other than flaking. Im playing on the safe side being a friend to her because she would lose trust in me if she knew of my intentions. But i will be leaving work for a better opportunity in 3 weeks. I am not sure if i should go direct with her tell her what i feel and give her a sense that i CAN walk away from her just like anybody else OR stay as friends which i feel will be difficult since we wont see each other as much anymore, less communication and i dont want someone else to take my place. Ive gotten really close to her an have a lot of influence with her, influence that i am afraid she might be avoiding if to avoid being unfaithful.

Anybodys opinion on my next move is highly appreciated. I feel that you guys understand my situation better than others will. Thank you so much,

Sounds to me like you've spent way too much time obsessing about a girl who is in a relationship. Let's look at the facts...she's a coworker who you've never kissed or taken out on a date.

I'd suggest you go out and go on dates with 20 other girls in the next few months. When you're done with that, let me know how you feel about this girl. If you're still obsessed, we can figure something out... The reason I think you're so focused on her is because you have nothing else going on otherwise.

Trust me, the most attractive thing you can do is stop being so outcome dependent with her.

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Thank you Johngoldman, i did not realize what you just said. My priority is right now isnt dating so no havent been dating rently. Most of my friends like to party and its hard for me to find someone with the same goals as mine. But i guess you have a point, i should see more women to confirm whats going on. Though something in me resists what youre trying to say...ive met a lot of girls before but shes really rare.

Okay. so i need to stop this obsession, how should i continue on my game with her.

That resistance is fear. The only way to build confidence (and attraction) is by moving through the fear. There is no way around it.
Failboat. Read the above again. Don't try to game her until you've gone on 20 dates. If you spent 5 hours a week in a densely populated area in your city doing day game, I'm sure you can approach at least 10 girls a week (that is a very easy target). If you only have a 10% close ratio, you can still get 1 date a week. In just 5 months, you'll be in a much better position to attract this girl...if you still want to.

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Johngoldman, its true i need to up my game first or else i will always be holding something back and it might help me reaffirm my doubs with any girl. thanks for the inspiring words im gonna commit myself to being better first!