Can you really fix a confidence problem if you don't know where it stems from?
I'm asking because I have no idea why I'm not a confident guy.
I've always been told I'm a good looking guy. I'm pretty average height at 5'11''.
I'm a little skinny, but that doesn't bother me at all because I have some muscle definition.
In high school I went to an all-boy school, but I don't think that's the problem because
I can talk to girls and everything, but when it comes down to trying to escalate things
I get nervous and can't think of anything to do or say.
Please help a guy out.
I've never approached a girl in my life. I've been to scared.
And now my confidence is even worse, because I'm in college, I'm about to be 19 years old, and I've never done anything with a girl. I feel like a complete lame and I know I am.
Especially since all my friends in high school, and now all my friends in college, are complete beasts with the ladies and pretty much get laid every night.
Sorry for the long post, but I just want some advice on what to do.
Thanks for reading.

Hey brother,

I'll let you in on a little secret... I hadn't kissed a girl until I was 18 years old. I lost my virginity that same year. There is nothing to worry about - age is just a number.
Next, if your college boy friends claim to get laid every night, they are liars. It's a habit of the insecure to magnify small victories - a rich man doesn't need to tell you he's rich.

Now let's talk about you.

Your confidence problem isn't a confidence problem - it's a lack of confidence altogether. Look at the way you describe yourself: all ego-based. "I've been told I'm good looking", "I'm a bit skinny but it doesn't bother me because I have muscle definition" etc. I've seen ugly fat fucks walk out with a hottie on each arm. What's your excuse?

If you didn't have your looks? If (God forbid) you somehow lost all your looks, your muscle definition, your height or whatever, would you feel even worse about yourself? I've seen miracles mate. What if you lost all your memories and I told you that you are ugly (even though you probably arn't... what is ugly anyway?), you will go your entire life believing it. However, if you lost all your memories and I told you you are the greatest ladies man alive, you would simply act like it your entire life. There's a lesson to be learned here: Your circumstances do not make the man.

A man is defined by his actions and his thoughts.
I know what you're thinking... "Okay great but HOW CAN I SOLVE THIS?" and I understand my friend, I used to be like that too. When people gave me good advice, I simply ignored it because it wasn't convenient. It required me to ask more questions instead of finding the answers. So I settled on some stupid routine, or a quick fix solution. But guess what... a couple months down the road, I was in the same damned place.

No my friend. You must ask deeper questions and you must seek the deeper answers. If your looks do not make the man, if your circumstances do not make the man, then what does?
You need to explore. You need to dig deep and you need to question. You see, as men, we constantly seek comfort. We may not admit it, but we crave comfort. We want a secure 9-5 so we can go home and crash on the couch and watch TV until we fall asleep. We want a girlfriend - not a specific woman, any one will do- to give us a sense of worth. We want to know everything RIGHT NOW so we don't have to go out and work things out for ourselves. In the end though, comfort = death. We are slowly dying, every single second of every day we move one step closer to our end and we cannot wait for that to happen. Understand, there can be no growth where there is comfort. Comfort is the known. In the known there is no adventure, no spontaneity and no creativity. These previous three elements are what is necessary for growth. Indeed my friend, comfort invariably equals death.

So what to do of all this?
You mentioned yourself that you have never even approached a girl, so that is the first place to start. You need to get off your ass and make something of yourself. We men have built the great civilizations of the world, conquered great armies, and discovered new worlds. Do you think these great builders, conquerors and discoverers would be afraid of a 120 pound girl?

Get up. Stand up right now. Turn your computer off and GET UP. Go out into the world and be curious. Be curious about everything. Discover, explore and go on an adventure. Curiosity always trumps fear. Where there is fascination there could be no fear.
So get up my friend. Go out and do what you were born to do.

"Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates." ~ Mark Twain

Give. love. Serve. meditate.

Mack

_________________
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Thanks my man. That's a quality post.
I understand completely what you're saying and I've already etched it into my brain.
I appreciate it.

I believe there's no way to get confidence.
The only time I can talk to girls is when I'm drunk. And I'm pretty good at talking to girls then, my friends have told me. But then I wake up the next day and can't say anything to them.
Like for New Years I was drunk and finally got my first kiss.
But now I'm 19 and haven't moved any further.
Now I'm just a depressed guy that sits in my room all day. Every weekend last semester I went out, but when I came back to my room I was by myself, so I just decided to give up on all of it. I was tired of every girl going home with the huge athlete or the frat guy.
I'm a lost cause. Sorry I posted this, but I was sitting in my room as usual now, and had to finally get it off my chest because I haven't really told anybody how I feel, so why not tell some strangers.
I don't care if anybody reads this, I just need to let it go.
-Future 40 Year Old Virgin

Man im 21 years old and im in university also , the first time ive kissed a girl it was months ago and first time getting laid was month ago .. i had that thoughts also but you have to have some attitude there .. you have to wake up and look to the mirror and say :"im fucking beautiful", you have to believe it, cause when you look to a girl it, you have to make them believe too with your u confindence dude...