Alpha clowning on me @ work...need a solution ASAP



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PostPosted: Fri Mar 14, 2014 9:53 pm 
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I'm sure many of you have dealt with this. There's this annoying dick head at work. He's a good looking guy...better looking then me. He's always clowning on me. Hard. Specifically about how I get my eye brows done. My braws aren't girly, they're just cleaned up and look good. I normally respond to his jabs with a cheesy smile to mask my annoyance and slight embarrasment. Behind the smile I'm wondering why this guys so up my ass....and absolutely mortified. He's the WORSE. He does this when we're in a large group of people. He blatantly brings it up around hot girls,and or guys..and when that happens next thing I know I'm being fired at with one liners all around me and him anda few people are laughing hysterically...HE NEVER SAYS A THING when its just us alone. I'd avoid him, but I can't all the time. I need some help sharpening my wits and responding accordingly. How do you jokingly fire back/ball bust a guy who physically looks good. I can't find a flaw. What would you guys do in this situation to one up him, save face while seeming composed and like he didn't get to you?? Right now I'm smiling,which maybe after one or 2 jokes on me I get away with it, but this guy sees a pattern that all I do is fake smile ( not even laugh) and he just wont stop...I go to work soon. I'm dreaing it. Please help me get my alpha witty ball busting joking side up. What you would do, responses, tips, advice, psychology...anything would help. Thanks


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 14, 2014 10:34 pm 
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Just dont react man! It is bullshit. I would laugh unstoppably if he tried to insult me in that way because it is ridiculous...This way he would seem like an awkward guy in the group.

Answer like : "Ok daddy"

His ''jokes'' have meaning because u give them too much importance. Dont react!!
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Please help me get my alpha witty ball busting joking side up.
Alpha behaviour is not something you can get in an instant. Needs a lot of training to get there and to make it part of your personality. But still. Dont react! That simple.

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PostPosted: Fri Mar 14, 2014 11:02 pm 
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Before the AMOG lines come on the thread, I'll say this. Get some good looking pussy. The best way to make a jerk shut up is having a hot girl who is crazy about you. These type of threads are typically the "I'm not sleeping with or have a chance to sleep with anyone but there's this ONE guy/friend/roommate who I want to out alpha." Guess what. After you bring them down you're still not fucking someone. So brush it off, fuck or flirt with the girls at work, get some hot girl crazy for you, bring her around and let him look stupid. They clown you because they think you're lame.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 14, 2014 11:20 pm 
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I got a girl I'm with already. She cooks, gives me money, looks good, supports my crazy goals, sex is good and I could bring her around any alpha and not feel threatened...I'm here to work on dealing with men believe it or not. When I know I control the pussy it also tempts me LESS to leave the quality one I'm with for a one night fling. I wanna hold my ground...

As far as not reacting I have...I've responded with a smile...but after ten fake smiles in a row after shots being fired it feels not authentic, and my cheeks hurt from the insincerity of the smile...and I'm not a good enough actor to laugh when I'm heated and mortified inside..andsome how this dude must sense the smile is a mask cause the ragging doesn't stop.


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 14, 2014 11:22 pm 
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Does it hurt you when they joke on you?
i mean whats the problem?


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PostPosted: Fri Mar 14, 2014 11:37 pm 
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It makes me look bad..lowers my social value because I don't react properly. I smile and take it and it sends the message that its okay to fuck with this guy. Problem is the way the guys ragging on me.....he knows what hes doing cause he does it in groups and if I retaliate unproperly I look bad...if I dont react I look bad


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 15, 2014 2:35 am 
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you have two choices. Either you are internally controlled or externally controlled.


These two statements are critical to see where you fall in this situation either you are

"I make me think, act, or feel

or

"you make me think, act, or feel."

People who are successful are internally controlled. They change things and make things happen. If you fall externally controlled, then everyone is supposed to change. Now think about how successful you will be if you want everyone else to change.

Right now this amog owns your ass. He is able to make you angry, therefore he owns you.

Think about what YOU want to project to this guy. What is it that you want to come across as? I personally had my own amog and I treated him like a child in the end. How? I ignored him, if he wanted to talk to me, he will have to be respectful. I did this non-verbally. If he wanted to talk, he had to show me something that signaled to me that he wasn't being a tool at the time. Every situation is different, I don't know how yours is.

P.S.
Currently I am working with troubled youth, let me tell you that they are sharks. They will sniff out your weaknesses. Instead of throwing a punch, if they get you mentally, you are going to have a HARD time. I am currently still learning and this is what I have been taught with how to deal with these kids. It applies in your situation as well.

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PostPosted: Sat Mar 15, 2014 2:56 pm 
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Easy. Beat the absolute fuck out of him in front of everyone.

On the other hand, this being a civilized world, we're not allowed to do that. Personally, I would normally roll with the punches and then take a shot at him (slick insult about his personality, intelligence, etc.); but the problem with that is that it's possible you can strike a nerve, hurt his feelings, he gets physical, HR gets involved, and then you both get threatened with being fired because you didn't bring it up to management/HR instead of "escalating the situation". It has happened to me.

So really, I think your best bet is to pull him to the side, tell him that it bothers you, and that if he keeps it up, you're going to report it to management or HR. I know it doesn't seem "manly", but you can't let this sort of stuff get out of hand, and you shouldn't have to dread going to work.

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PostPosted: Sat Mar 15, 2014 3:20 pm 
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Him amogging you doesn't lower your social value, he amogs you because you have low social value at work. Fix that, become a leader.


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 15, 2014 5:50 pm 
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I personally had my own amog and I treated him like a child in the end. How? I ignored him, if he wanted to talk to me, he will have to be respectful. I did this non-verbally. If he wanted to talk, he had to show me something that signaled to me that he wasn't being a tool at the time.
Awesome advice. We train people how they can treat us.

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PostPosted: Sat Mar 15, 2014 7:35 pm 
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So increase my social value and become internally controlled. I like these. Will definitely work more on this.


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 16, 2014 12:53 am 
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First off, this guy is a douche bag, point blank. It's disappointing that people can be like this and others will sometimes follow if it's not the most intelligent group.

I wouldn't take it personally first off, these kinds people are easy to be better than.

I'd go with what Mr. Intentional said and pull him aside and talk to him.

What a man does in this kind of situation...

First don't approach it as you are doing something wrong that's continuing this pattern of behavior, it's this guy, he's a douche. You don't need to play his game. You're a man and you have a situation...go to the source and take care of it.

Go right up to him and ask him if you can talk privately for a second. start with something positive, like "you seem cool" then continue with "but sometimes I get disappointed at some of the things you say to me, they bother me when I'm trying to get work done and I'm asking you to stop so this can be a more pleasant work place for me" Then end with another positive "I hope that you can understand me and we can get along here because I do think that you're a leader in this workplace and I respect that."

This will get him off you and improve your life in the work place as you start and end it on a good note, you don't have to be friends with him after (I wouldn't want to) but it's better to have no bad blood in the work place.


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 16, 2014 10:46 am 
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Quote:
you have two choices. Either you are internally controlled or externally controlled.


These two statements are critical to see where you fall in this situation either you are

"I make me think, act, or feel

or

"you make me think, act, or feel."

People who are successful are internally controlled. They change things and make things happen. If you fall externally controlled, then everyone is supposed to change. Now think about how successful you will be if you want everyone else to change.

Right now this amog owns your ass. He is able to make you angry, therefore he owns you.

Think about what YOU want to project to this guy. What is it that you want to come across as? I personally had my own amog and I treated him like a child in the end. How? I ignored him, if he wanted to talk to me, he will have to be respectful. I did this non-verbally. If he wanted to talk, he had to show me something that signaled to me that he wasn't being a tool at the time. Every situation is different, I don't know how yours is.

P.S.
Currently I am working with troubled youth, let me tell you that they are sharks. They will sniff out your weaknesses. Instead of throwing a punch, if they get you mentally, you are going to have a HARD time. I am currently still learning and this is what I have been taught with how to deal with these kids. It applies in your situation as well.

As what everyone says, turn it to humour... personally I'd say thanks, I tried to model a while back but didn't get very far. I'm glad you appreciate them. Then alpha body position yourself facing away from him *lightly shove him away non threateningly* then say, 'girls do you find these eyebrows sexyyyy or what? ;) Ive got guys drooling all over them!* Done. Or if its work, then say, 'Thats cute man, you remind me of my cousin, always looking up to me. Its not about the looks baby, but you have to flaunt what you've got! Anyway... with this project...' The second statement, you AMOG him and played cocky funny, were assertive and did not give a fuck.


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 16, 2014 2:28 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
you have two choices. Either you are internally controlled or externally controlled.


These two statements are critical to see where you fall in this situation either you are

"I make me think, act, or feel

or

"you make me think, act, or feel."

People who are successful are internally controlled. They change things and make things happen. If you fall externally controlled, then everyone is supposed to change. Now think about how successful you will be if you want everyone else to change.

Right now this amog owns your ass. He is able to make you angry, therefore he owns you.

Think about what YOU want to project to this guy. What is it that you want to come across as? I personally had my own amog and I treated him like a child in the end. How? I ignored him, if he wanted to talk to me, he will have to be respectful. I did this non-verbally. If he wanted to talk, he had to show me something that signaled to me that he wasn't being a tool at the time. Every situation is different, I don't know how yours is.

P.S.
Currently I am working with troubled youth, let me tell you that they are sharks. They will sniff out your weaknesses. Instead of throwing a punch, if they get you mentally, you are going to have a HARD time. I am currently still learning and this is what I have been taught with how to deal with these kids. It applies in your situation as well.

As what everyone says, turn it to humour... personally I'd say thanks, I tried to model a while back but didn't get very far. I'm glad you appreciate them. Then alpha body position yourself facing away from him *lightly shove him away non threateningly* then say, 'girls do you find these eyebrows sexyyyy or what? ;) Ive got guys drooling all over them!* Done. Or if its work, then say, 'Thats cute man, you remind me of my cousin, always looking up to me. Its not about the looks baby, but you have to flaunt what you've got! Anyway... with this project...' The second statement, you AMOG him and played cocky funny, were assertive and did not give a fuck.

One problem I see with amogging him with humor at this point is (and maybe someone more versed in evolutionary psychology or at least less hung over can speak to) is laughter in a group is often a bonding thing based on social value. He has higher social value at work, hence when he jokes on you, others want to align with him more than you so they laugh and back him up. Even if you say something that's funnier back at him, the group will not laugh or see it as funny as his joke was because they'd rather align with him. If the popular guy at school clowns you and you respond with a better joke, others around aren't going to laugh.


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 16, 2014 3:27 pm 
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Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
you have two choices. Either you are internally controlled or externally controlled.


These two statements are critical to see where you fall in this situation either you are

"I make me think, act, or feel

or

"you make me think, act, or feel."

People who are successful are internally controlled. They change things and make things happen. If you fall externally controlled, then everyone is supposed to change. Now think about how successful you will be if you want everyone else to change.

Right now this amog owns your ass. He is able to make you angry, therefore he owns you.

Think about what YOU want to project to this guy. What is it that you want to come across as? I personally had my own amog and I treated him like a child in the end. How? I ignored him, if he wanted to talk to me, he will have to be respectful. I did this non-verbally. If he wanted to talk, he had to show me something that signaled to me that he wasn't being a tool at the time. Every situation is different, I don't know how yours is.

P.S.
Currently I am working with troubled youth, let me tell you that they are sharks. They will sniff out your weaknesses. Instead of throwing a punch, if they get you mentally, you are going to have a HARD time. I am currently still learning and this is what I have been taught with how to deal with these kids. It applies in your situation as well.

As what everyone says, turn it to humour... personally I'd say thanks, I tried to model a while back but didn't get very far. I'm glad you appreciate them. Then alpha body position yourself facing away from him *lightly shove him away non threateningly* then say, 'girls do you find these eyebrows sexyyyy or what? ;) Ive got guys drooling all over them!* Done. Or if its work, then say, 'Thats cute man, you remind me of my cousin, always looking up to me. Its not about the looks baby, but you have to flaunt what you've got! Anyway... with this project...' The second statement, you AMOG him and played cocky funny, were assertive and did not give a fuck.

One problem I see with amogging him with humor at this point is (and maybe someone more versed in evolutionary psychology or at least less hung over can speak to) is laughter in a group is often a bonding thing based on social value. He has higher social value at work, hence when he jokes on you, others want to align with him more than you so they laugh and back him up. Even if you say something that's funnier back at him, the group will not laugh or see it as funny as his joke was because they'd rather align with him. If the popular guy at school clowns you and you respond with a better joke, others around aren't going to laugh.

That's a good point on social value.

I am still surprised everyone here is trying to tell the OP to clown the Alpha back...what do you think will happen in the end? The alpha either backs down OR they start trying to compete with the OP that much harder. If a kid talks shit about you do you talk shit back to the little kid? No, that will only egg him on and you guys won't be going anywhere for awhile.

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