Hi everyone,

I've been in the PUA world for a few years now and believe when it comes to openers and building attraction I do quite well. I have learned a lot over the years and practiced a lot. I managed to hook up with a lot with girls but I have a MAJOR problem......

I always lose the girl! Girls tell me I'm a handsome guy, I have a great physique, I'm funny and outgoing, I project value, etc.....but I ALWAYS without fail fall into ONETIS...I get emotionally attached to a girl I hooked up with (even from as earl as the first time) and the relationship always falls apart. I might go as far as having sex with them and dating them for a week or two tops (if I'm lucky) but I always become needy and get attached to them and drive them away.

My main symptoms of my problem:

-Once I like a girl and I hook up with her...I become very into her. I think about her all the time...my mood is entirely affect by her reaction/behavior towards me.

-When I send her a message or call and if she doesn't respond I become down all of a sudden...to the point I have to chain smoke.

-I can be in a great mood and be having a great day but if a girl I like flakes on me or ignores my messages/calls or tells me she is not ready to be in a relationship or wants to just be friends I immediately become BROKEN....my first instinct is to call her (several times and text her) until I drive her away. I always desperately try to get them back and never do.

-This has happened to be SO MANY TIMES (it is actually happening right now with the 24rth girl!)

-I become super attached to a girl I barely know (before the relationship is in the bag) and I start becoming insecure and if I feel anything is going wrong I start getting nervous, I start looking at my phone every minute to see if she texted me back or called back and I keep on smoking cigarettes (and I'm not a heavy smoker). I'll go through at least a pack that day.

Then it takes me a week to get over the girl I lost (from my needy/desperate behaviour) and then I'll meet a new one a few weeks later and the cycle continues....and round and round we go!

It sucks! I really want to get rid of this behaviour because I know I will never get a girlfriend I like if I continue to act this way. Also it ruins days/weeks of my life each time it happens (and it happens often)! I become very down unable to do anything.

Any tips would be much appreciated!

Thanks!

You're just that kind of person. You can only fight back those urges.

Honestly, sounds like you're a relationship kind of guy and that's perfectly fine. You just need to learn to let loose a bit with women and not smother them. You need to think about what it is when you send them messages and shit. "Do I really have to ask what they're up to? Kind of seems boring and pointless..."

What it is is your need for attention. Get close friends and start hanging out with them, this might help you out. That or take up a hobby that gets you hooked.

If you're always getting attached to girls you date or hook up with, then you have insecurity issues that have their roots somewhere else. Pickup/ seduction, over time will expose you to your weaknesses. Congratulations, you've found one!

It doesn't mean that pickup will solve the problem. Try this: Purposely initiate the END of the next few dates, hookups and relationships you get into. Force yourself to always be the one who calls it off rather than the woman. Delete the phone number of a girl you recently hooked up with, and make a concerted effort to NOT followup.

Neediness is based on low self esteem. You can ban 200 girls and make your problem worse, because pickup just paints over the issues. Time to deal with it, brother.

That, or seek therapy. Nothing wrong with that either!

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Hey mate I don't know how long you've been part of this forum for, but a few months back one of the newsletters you get from this forum discussed this exact problem and how to get past it. If I'll look through my email if I can find it I'll post it for you. As well I used to be the same mainly just with girls not replying to texts I posted a thread about how I would feel if a girl didn't answer my txt. I was nervous about posting it because how afc does that sound getting bent out of shape because a girl doesn't reply, but its an actual mental condition I guess you'd say no reply syndrome. Another poster on here gave me some solid advice if you go into the search box on the home screen look up "advice on getting past analisys pararalisis". I think the advice I was given will help you as well. Also go to www.wayoftheplayer.com I found a lot of the material on there to help me get past my similar issues

Anywya hope that helps good luck!!

Sounds like you have some kind of attachment issues. You'd do well to work on your self confidence by taking up a hobby or two that gives you pleasure without the explicit intention of meeting girls (although most of them have that benefit). Your happiness should come from within, not from the validation you are seeking from these women you barely know, get in touch with friends, do things that make you happy, and start dating multiple women, you won't get attached to one if you can go to the others for sex or other fun.

I personally think your problem is that you don't have any real sources of happiness in your life, so you meet a girl and she's your main if not only source of happiness and human nature something makes you happy you want more of it and you end up smothering the girl and coming off as needy and desperate for her attention even if your not. Then she leaves you for a a guy that has the independant qualities women find attractive in a man. I would personally suggest you take up boxing if that's something you would be interested in. You develop a strong sense of disicpline that will help you with women, you'll have a hobby and something to focus on to keep you from being needy, and major alpha points. Go to www.wayoftheplayer.com read the article learn a martial art. I think that will answer a lot of your questions as well as the article how to overcome neediness. I'm gonna suggest before you get into another relationship or too involved with another woman that you get youself together and find something whether it be a new hobby a new job or until you find happiness within yourself. You have to be happy with yourself before you can make someone else happy. Most ppl get their hearts broken because they try and love someone before they learn how to love themselves. I chase girls they run away I chase myself women chase me. I heard those sayings everyone of them applied to me then I had my light bulb moment turned myself around and made it so those sayings didn't describe me to a T and literally overnight my game improved drastically.

Anyway kind of a long ass post, but I hope it helps good luck!!

I'll make this simple for you....

Stop being such a pussy!!

No more falling in love with a girl because she opened her legs up for you. (This is putting the pussy on a pedestal)

No more getting all but hurt because a girl doesn't respond to your call. Instead, hit up 10 other girls instead.

No more of this idea that you have to be in a relationship. Fall in love with a girl... Not the idea of a relationship.

No more being insecure about a girl maybe not liking you. Find something else to do with your time instead of sitting there, freaking out thinking about whether she's thinking about you.

NO MORE!!

Like I said, stop being such a pussy. Women do all the shit you're doing. Be a man.

Women fall madly in love with a guy after he fucks her brains out and then leaves.

Women fantasize and dream about "getting married" and get all whiney when some guy breaks their heart. They don't fall in love with the guy. They fall in love with the idea of getting married.

Women feel insecure and freak out when a guy doesn't text them back within 30 seconds.

Be a man.

Awesome advie right here!

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