Met this chick at a house party. Got her number. She stays the night at my place a week later for our first date (unfortunately we did not have sex, but did fool around). She asks me to stay the night with her the following night but I couldn't due to prior plans. Texting and talking non-stop the next week. 2nd week goes by, still talking a ton. 3rd week goes by me talking more than her. 4th week is now, not even getting responses. It's worth noting that right before the responses stopped I asked if she wanted to see me again and she said "yes, but I made a promise to concentrate on graduating, school-work, my friends, my roommates, and promised not to get involved with any boys". She graduates in 8 weeks. I sent really dumb messages about possibly dating at 5am which probably also contributes to the not replying anymore.

I honestly just want to have casual sex with her at this point and I think she believes I want more (based on what I said). I think she would be down based on her flirtiness and telling me that she had casual sex with an ex of hers for over a year. I was very misled by her, she even stated she was interested in dating. I think I gave her too much time to remember "her promise to herself" or I came off as too needy and she just doesn't wanna deal with that and only concentrate on graduation. Now that I heard it from her though and know she doesn't want a relationship all I want is the sex!

When should I move on? I really want sex with her, I was so close that one night and no one gives me blue balls and gets away with it! Is there anything I can do at this point? I am doing the three strikes and you're out rule (3 no replies and move on) and right now I'm on strike 2 with one week apart from strike 1. Right now the plan is to wait two weeks and call instead of text, if she answers great, if not leave a voicemail and tell her what I want, why I said what I said, and that I'm moving on after this if I don't hear from her. I am talking to other girls in the meantime of course but I want this one so bad. Just my type.

If you wanna give it 1 more try I say call, but make sure you bring your A-game to that convoa solid phone call will set you apart from any other guys she may have chasing her and leave her wanting more. However if she doesn't answer don't leave a voicemail. Send her a short txt saying something like Hey haven't seen you for a while I'm gonna be around for example friday. Wanna hook up while I'm in town? That way you're not being needy, and it makes your intentions a little clearer without giving it all away, and possibly running into her ASD. And without her worrying about a relationship with you.

Anyway hope that helps good luck!!

Thanks for the advice! I'm not worried about other guys with her. She's kinda a homebody and I only met her because I was at her roommates. I just feel like if I could let her know my changed intentions things could still work out which is why I mentioned the voicemail. Perhaps you are right though, it kinda does come off as needy.

You'll just be beating a dead horse.

She gave you ample opportunity, but you let the attraction die, before nailing her.

There is always that little glimmer of hope, for a re-connection, but you've got to go 'balls out' with your intent clear.

It's kinda like hooking a giant fish, your so excited you release it, and expect it to bite the same hook again.

Gotta use your most shinny lure Bro.

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They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Ah, man, personally I wouldn't call two days ample time, got a busy schedule.

I think the voicemail would be pretty ballsy with what I plan on saying, but I could always use more advice. Definitely do not want to regret letting this one get away. Still getting myself out there, she'd just be a great lay; lives 5 minutes away and the only potential I have right now (been a slow gaming season).

Based on the explained situation any good examples or additional advice? She loves to tease. Talks a lot about topics involving intimacy too. Maybe I'll keep the voicemail reasonable and wait for the more intriguing topics when I can actually have a 2-sided conversation with her. That's all I need, that one more chance to re-build attraction and intimacy.

2 weeks is the time I'm waiting. I would wait longer but she graduates in 10 weeks. I need to let her know in a nonchalant way that "Hey, geez, I'm not looking to marry ya, just have a bit of fun with your time left. We are in college after all and why not have a kick-ass time while you're still here with an awesome guy"

Before this thread dies, do you guys have any suggestions or experience with what I could say? Kinda leaning away from the voice mail now since that comes off as super pathetic and needy. It's gotta be something that will really wow her while getting the point across that I basically only want to hang out with her to have a fun time with no implications...AKA sexy time. I'll give her a call but no voice mail. If no answer---will shoot her a text.

Know I'm beating a dead horse here and not too worried about it anymore to be honest but giving it one last go. Can't make things any worse than they are. I need to either get her very interested in talking by keeping up a great funny convo, or get her sexual drive going again by being flirty/bringing up the night she stayed here and how things SHOULD have went/what I would do to her now. From what I know she's a freak and would probably like the dirty/risky talk.

I'll be searching the board for info as well as to how to do this. Thanks again for all your help and time.

I'm not sure how a voicemail comes off pathetic unless you make it sound pathetic. You can shoot her a text too. The fact that you want to do something impressive is a bad place to start. Be willing to experiment, which means you might have to do things that in your head dont seem like they would really wow her. Try to search for dhv's over text, and then be ready to let her go.

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A Guide to the No Fap Challenge

The 14 books every man should read. How many of these have you read?

You're right. She is just one woman and should not get any special SPAM. After all, what value has she shown me to deserve it. I need to just act like she's not special at all. Good call. Will search the forum for good dhv texts with these 12 days of break.

It looks like you just have problems closing. Don't waste your time with those boring "getting to know you" texts. Texting is juvenile and a waste of your time.

Make plans after having a decent conversation. Keep it simple and straightforward.
Example:
"I like getting coffee in the morning before [work, class, I work out, etc.]. I like talking to you. You should join me. How does [date and time] work out for you?"

It weeds out flakes immediately.

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The ultimate lesson of psychoanalysis is that human life is never "just life": we are possessed by the strange drive to enjoy life in excess, attached to a surplus which derails the ordinary run of things.
-Slavoj Zizek

Also, trying to get hang outs this late in the game just reeks of desperation. There's a reason why she's not talking to you anymore: you're demonstrating lower value.

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The ultimate lesson of psychoanalysis is that human life is never "just life": we are possessed by the strange drive to enjoy life in excess, attached to a surplus which derails the ordinary run of things.
-Slavoj Zizek

Yeah that's probably where the problems all began. We had 1000 text messages in the period of two to three weeks. I kept pushing for in-person meetups, she kept just wanting to talk through text. I felt like we were using all the conversations through text that we should have been having in person. I should have just stopped replying and put her in the situation I am currently in.

& I think you're absolutely right about me demonstrating lower value. Guess when she stopped replying? After I tried to get her to come out to eat, or hang out in person without demonstrating enough value. I basically just jumped the gun without warming her up to the idea through awesome funny flirty conversations and it probably looked desperate.

So I guess the plan right now is to just demonstrate value, re-build attraction and interest, then go for the hangout after getting her nice and warmed up and wanting me more than I want her. The first step is just getting the conversations back.

Hopefully she answers the phone call in two weeks otherwise I'll need to research some more openers and DHV texts. I have great game when talking through voice, terrible through text which is why I hate it. In the meantime though I'm doing me, getting some pond hockey in, partying, bars, meeting new women. She might even hit me up after seeing it all through social media. Just having fun and not worrying about her demonstrates value in itself. Plus she sits up on facebook til 2-3am, she'll probably get lonely/bored and see how much value I could add.

Agreed?

I'm assuming you're young (at least younger than 30). To put things plainly, if a girl wants to fuck you then she'll find a way to fuck you.

However if there's something I've learned about girls in their 20s it's that they're merciless. I mean, if getting a date is this hard then can you imagine how hard it is to maintain a relationship? It's retarded. The only thing that can really alleviate this symptom is to have regular interactions.

By cutting off interaction with you she's signalling for you to quit. Instead of waiting two weeks try two months. Or try running into her. Otherwise she has little to no incentive to find and speak to you. Why would she meet up with a desperate loser if she could just as easily find someone else of your equal value.

My judgement: move on.

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The ultimate lesson of psychoanalysis is that human life is never "just life": we are possessed by the strange drive to enjoy life in excess, attached to a surplus which derails the ordinary run of things.
-Slavoj Zizek

I in no way want a relationship with her after this. I just think she's sexy and want another chance to fuck her since I probably could have but messed it up. It's more of a masculinity challenge at this point that I want to win. Afterwards who knows what will become of us but for now I just want to meet up with her again purely out of physical lust.

Yeah I've been thinking that myself lately. Whether or not is is better to wait until she graduates which would be about 2 months, or try again while she still lives close. Her excuse for not wanting to get involved with me was that she promised herself and roommates that she wouldn't get involved with another guy until after graduation. If I wait she has no excuses anymore, it's a good amount of time, she'll be stress free, and more available. I could also try to make the trip back to school with her to get some alone time at the house together. Distance wise she's going to be either 20 or 45 minutes away from where I'm stationed back home. March 25th we are going to the same event here at school so I might even bump into her there. Yet, if I don't call in two weeks and I never see her again I'll regret it so two sides to the same coin I guess. If I do contact her in about 2 weeks I'll make the call and if no answer just going to use a funny opener text, or a lead on text such as "you'll never believe what happened to me over break"

This girl was absolutely nuts about me. There must be a little interest left at least. After this additional info let me know if your opinion has changed. I am completely switching things up if I do talk to her again. Just gunna be game game game, no more getting to know each other. Look how that fucking turned out.

Basically when it comes down to it she had a phenomenal ass that I will kick myself for not experiencing. She has a weird personality (but so do I which is why I was so into her) and is probably a HB7 or even HB6 so the chances of her communicating with me aren't as slim as we all think. She doesn't know too many guys, and doesn't get out much. She is also up til 3 or 4am and will probably cave into talking to me out of boredom/loneliness which is when I can strike. Yet if she does not, and if waiting 2 months will grant me a better success rate at seeing her and sealing the deal I'm willing to do that.

You're trying to rationalize a way to continue to obsess over this girl. She doesn't want to talk to you anymore. She doesn't care. Move on.

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The ultimate lesson of psychoanalysis is that human life is never "just life": we are possessed by the strange drive to enjoy life in excess, attached to a surplus which derails the ordinary run of things.
-Slavoj Zizek

You're right. I just need to find a girl that's even better. If I bump into her at that event so be it (I'll be with another girl so that will be interesting). Or at the end of the semester I will give her a call if I'm still thinking about it. Other then that, yeah I agree it's time to drop it. Having a dry spell probably has a lot to do with obsessing over her and sex.