-I have been with her over a year and a half, sex is constant and jokingly says she wants to have my children ect
-we had a boundaries talk months ago and pretty much said with each other no sexual texts with people and don't text people if we knew their intentions towards us, because despite our trust it would be disrespectful
-she was with him 3.5 years
-he texted her for a long time, she would either just be nice or ignore him, saw him as a wimp, and she was the one who broke up with him a few months before I met her
-she said he has tried to befriend her family members to get at her, buys her mom flowers, and other creepy things. but the way i found this out was with her sister bringing it up. she said she hadn't told me because it wasn't a big deal, he was just a pussy even tho she told him she had a boyfriend many times
-I told her I'd tell him off if he ever did again, if it made her uncomfortable (months ago).
-So I told her that if he had texted her since then, I will be taking him aside at the funeral, even if she doesn't like confrontation. She said he has not in a long while in this manner.
-I see in her phone that she initiated text with him twice recently like two months apart from the last. Once she said something reminded her of him, which she does to friends that are girls sometimes too, if she has a dream or something
-The next time a friend of hers snooped his facebook and said he got a goofy job. So my girl said back to her friend "hahaha should I text him? i've got to see this"
-My girl texts him asking that, they have a normal friendly convo no innuendo or anything
-She texts her friend back and says "I can't believe I ever dated that wimpy bish", her friend says "the two of you will never be able to be friends", and she said she wasted years of fakeness on him, along with "now he is on the anger stage, he didnt take the breakup well"

Then a family member of my girlfriend died. He texted her, asked when the wake is. My girl told me that he might come and that he texted her because he knew this person well, she should be mature because it is for that person, and that if he tries to hang around after paying respects then her sister will tell him to leave

Pretty much she sees him as wimpy, but why the heck text him still? the vast majority of the time it has been him initiating and she has NEVER said anything sketchy, I've checked even tho that is a bit mean to do but I did.



Basicly, how the heck do I act when I see him? Should she introduce me? If she doesn't introduce me as her boyfriend and instead just says "this is heavylifter" to avoid awkwardness, is that indicative of anything?

When you see the dude, just go up to him and meet him. If he really is a whimp and you're way bigger/taller/harder/better/faster/stronger he'll back off. I met my ex's ex once and he kind of mistreated her. I saw him went up to him and a short convo ensued. After I told him that I had heard how he had treated he got kind of pale and bounced, which was nice.

If you're really towering over him a 'friendly' convo might be even worse than getting mad. For idea's, look up the pulp fiction hamburger scene.

If your GF texting her ex really bugs you out, you could also just tell her. Do not demand it or anything, just say it makes you a bit uncomfortable.

Because it's attention. Any attention, negative or positive is like a mini-orgasm for her. Plus it's obviously make you (her current man) jealous = another thrill for her.
The trust in your relationship isn't at strong as you claim it to be. This kind of behavior WILL lead to cheating. Treat her like she's cheated = she's gonna cheat.
No. Just like most PUA situations when in an LTR. YOU'RE the one fucking her. Nothing else matters. Act like mature bossman and just talk to him. Shake his hand, be the one that is nice. Have a "You don't even matter mate" attitude towards the situation. Just treat him like you would any new male you meet at the funeral.

Aside from that...it's a funeral man. Just be there for her and such.

I second each and every word of this^

_________________
"Bros before hoes"

Relationship guide: extended-relationship-guide-vt170687.html

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She has no idea i checked her phone and i wont again.

The boundaries talk came after a guy sent her a nude and she told me but continued to respond to his texts in the future, reasonable id say

Dude, it's not about her knowing it or not knowing it. It's fine that you set boundaries, it is a good thing. But from that point it's up to you trusting her, and not checking on her. Women are very sensitive to this shit, she might not know conciously that you don't trust her, but she might feel something awkward. Stop this because it's not healthy. If you trust her, don't spy on her, and if you don't trust her, dump her. Simple as that.

_________________
"Bros before hoes"

Relationship guide: extended-relationship-guide-vt170687.html

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ok guys. went to the funeral, and she didn't introduce me. she really didn't leave my side the whole night, but the ex came and she waved.

He stuck around and she eventually took like 30 seconds and said hi away from me. Her friends and family whispered to her if he was still there, is he coming, ect.....

She told me he came afterwards and said he is such a baby.


Fast forward to now, 5 days later. My girl says he texted her as she expected, a big wall of text saying how he prayed for her family member blah blah. She tells me she didn't have a conversation but said thank you for coming it was a hard week. I did see the end of the convo pop up on her phone tho....he talked about a family member of his own being in rough shape and she said keep me posted.





THEN her sister texted her saying she saw the ex at the supermarket and he said typical AFC things and it was awkward. My girl said "WTF" and "Was he alone?" The sister said with a few guys and my girl didn't respond.




This situation is fucking weird guys. I've been with this girl well over a year and she hasn't hung out with this guy, and he does all the typical AFC "I remember all the times we spent together" bull crap. She calls him a pussy to her friends and me

I once read that if your girl is over an Ex she will ridicule him or make a mockery of him, which she has done in the past....when he has come up she has called him kind of a pussy and a wimp who befriends her family members to get at her

Seriously all of that post was completely pointless. She's just absorbed in the drama and the pleasure that a former ex is now besotted by her. She won't cheat, she's just going to turn this guy into her little attention pet. You have no need to worry.

Stop being a fucking woman and getting involved in the drama. Literally the best and easiest solution for you is to sit down and have a beer. Stop worrying so much.

You reacting or doing anything remotely "I don't like you talking to him" just shows emotion/reaction to her actions and she'll do more of the same as it will create drama in your relationship. Girls dig drama (almost equal to an orgasm) so she'll continue creating it herself and eventually cheat. If you just ignore it, sit down, have a beer, act like its no big deal she'll find other ways of getting your attention i.e. getting naked.

Jesus some men need to grow some balls when it comes to exe's YES SHE'S FUCKED OTHER PEOPLE. GET OVER IT!

Exactly. I don't see anything weird about the situation. Everyone loves having a puppy and the vast majority of people don't fuck their puppies, so unless she's into bestiality you don't need to worry.

_________________
"Bros before hoes"

Relationship guide: extended-relationship-guide-vt170687.html

http://wayoftheplayer.com/become-a-player/instinct

I'd be cautious of a woman who badmouths her ex so much. A bitch, wimp, whatever...they still shared 3.5 years of experiences together. And you've been with her, what, less than half that time?

Everything that needed to be said about trust has been said, but this is fresh off the press for ya: any girl who tries to pit one man against another is worth dogshit.

_________________
"Let me ask you something. If the rule you followed brought you to this, of what use was the rule?"

Well, I did start dating her a few months after they broke up, but I was also coming off of a 3 year relationship. We dated casually 5 months and I still saw my ex, she still saw hers i'm sure but eventually we had the commitment talk.

Since then I have been with her over a year and we have not seen our exes except this.

Talk on the other hand, is different. She is very against me communicating with my ex and very jealous of other girls.

But I know she had been communicating with him, mostly from checking her phone as I said, which I no longer do. Their talks were VERY dry regarding family "how is he" ect, mixed in with his mushy "I remember all the good times we had", "you don't want to talk to me?" and smilies to which she would either reply in a very bland manner or not at all.

Her sister brought him up one time asking if she had told me about how he sent her mother gifts, befriended her family members to get closer to her, ect and other creepy activity.

She said she had not because it was not even a big deal, "he is kind of a pussy/baby", ect.


I just don't understand if she still has any feelings or if she likes the attention, wants to be friends, or what. She is seeing how beta/afc he was to her for months on end, wouldn't her attraction be totally killed by now


Not to mention, her friend noted that "you two will never be able to be friends" and "he is in the anger stage now". The latter suggests to me that they are kind of watching his emotional reactions to the breakup and such.

Stop looking at her phone. The ex is not screwing it up for you and your girlfriend. You are. As others have said, you're more likely to make her cheat on you by giving off these controlling, worried vibes than if you'd simply be confident, relax and recognize that he's a pussy and not a threat. You were lucky to have found out that she's actually dismissive of him in her private conversations with her sister and her friends -so quit while you're ahead. Those nagging doubts about her instigating two innocuous text conversations with him is just your anxiety talking. Stop listening to it. Relax, enjoy a hobby or go out with your girl and have some no-pressure fun or something like that.

NEVER check a girls phone EVER again. No matter what you find...it will influence you in a negative way. It is human nature to validate yourself in the decisions you make. You check her phone because you're worried about her texting some guy or something. Your brain validates the decision you've made and thus you will find something to get that validation.

BIG TIP: Ignorance is bliss.
Right as I've said before and again. THIS DUDE IS RUINING ANY CHANCE OF FUCKING HER EVER AGAIN. Just leave it alone and he'll continue to demolish his chances.
Oh yeah her attraction towards his sexually is definitely nothing at all. You have no need to worry about her cheating AT ALL. She's talking to him because

A) It's making you jealous. This makes her feel validated, sexy and wanted.
B) She's getting the emotional attention from him. This is good for you as you won't have to deal with that shit. He's become her emotional wet blanket.
C) It gives her shit to talk to her friends about.
D) She can bitch more.
Look at C of the list above. His reactions towards her actions are giving her shit to talk to her girlfriends about.

Yet again, THERE IS NO NEED TO WORRY. IF YOU CONTINUE TO WORRY YOU WILL SLOWLY SLIP INTO THE AFC FRAME. She WILL cheat if you do this.

Agree with Jones here. Calling someone a wimpy bitch after almost 4 years together is low class. Checking on an ex's "goofy job" to laugh at their misfortune is low class. Calling names about someone you were with for so long who sounds lke he didn't cheat on her, beat or a abuse her is low class. And when you hear her say "she wasted years of fakeness with him" says she's the type who will hide her real emotions in a relationship then laugh at you when it's over. If you don't trust her you may have a point.

I will do as you guys say.

I dont think ive come off as jealous because when she tells me about stuff i always say i trust her (and shes confirmed she knows this), and it is all how WE reacts to it as far as respect goes

The boundaries talk we had was just because she didnt put her foot down firmly when an afc orbiter sent her nudes.