Me and the misses have broken up, I find myself on the coach to Leeds from Manchester where I am studying. In my hand I hold a popular read by John Gray; ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus’. What led to our demise I wondered, was it my fault?

I’m more than two thirds the way through it now and have some theories on the matter but I can’t quite focus, the women a few seats behind me is talking really loud. I sneak a peek and notice she’s on the phone to her best friend. She’s by herself.

“No he’s had his chance if he tries I don’t care I want nothing to do with him”

Boyfriend troubles I think to myself as a voice in the empty seat beside me whispers “What’s that you’re holding?”
“A book on maintaining a loving relationship” I respond telepathically.
“And she is having relationship problems, no?”
“What’s your point funny man?”

I didn’t say that last bit but long story short I decided I would go for an approach. Keep in mind I was and still am AFC with women. I just had to pick my right moment.

Ten minutes must have passed and I’m still staring at the same page, not reading just trying to work up the courage to walk over and sit opposite. We’re in a confined space, if I scare her she could make a scene.

“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take” – Wayne Gretzky

F*ck it, if I’m lucky they’ll crash this coach before she calls the police. I close my book, my heart is racing. I walk over, I almost swallowed my tongue. I sit opposite her, “hey can I get your opinion on something?”*1

She smiled and despite my terrible body language she seemed relieved to have someone to talk to, she was definitely the chatty type. I was nervous, I zoned out and instinct took over so most of the dialog is lost on me. The fight or flight instinct kicked in as I ran out of things to say very quickly. I looked forward breaking any eye contact we had and focused on the seat in front. Two seconds later there’s movement in the corner of my eye, SHE’S ABOUT TO SLAP ME, S*IT!

“I’m Natalie by the way” she broke the silence with an extended hand
“Logic” I couldn’t figure out if that was an IOI? Since I had the book in my hand that’s the subject I choose to stick with.
“I take it you’ve read ‘The Game’” she said
“I’ve heard of it” I lied to her, she’d caught me, what would she thing of me and how would it affect the conversation, for the worst? Probably for the worst.
“You used one of his openers on me” Should have been authentic

We spoke for the rest of the journey and conversation ran smoothly, she even recommended some books on relationships. This women was not only beautiful, she was intellectual and insightful. It’s no wonder why she has three boyfriends.*2

This memory and the scrap piece of paper she gave me with the names of books on are both very special to me. They represent the downfall of my AA, I approached on my own with no wing, I can do it, and women are willing to invest in me.

We got off the coach together and said our goodbyes, I didn’t ask for her number. My challenge was to approach and I’d done it so why press for more? I was pumped and my AA was yet to be seen and to this day it is not as bad as it once was.

I’d walk with a spring in my step for the next several days; still pumped. My energy settled as new emotions replaced the old and logic began to process the memories. Little things I remember witnessing came to the light and I realized that she had me figured out from the moment I’d sat down. She knew I was an AFC and she’d humoured me*3

A wide smile spread across my face. Despite my consensus on the matter it didn’t faze my confidence. It made me appreciate her even more, once again this woman must have been something special to have four men with her at once. This lap dancer, who was use to talking to men of sorts, knew how to stroke the male ego. She could read me like a book. Admittedly I always look out for her whenever I get the coach home, someday I intend on thanking her.

- Logic

*1 Originally I had planned to be 100% authentic; “Excuse me, I couldn’t help but over hear you’re having relationship problems, can I ask; do you want to make it work with him?”

*2 The person she had broken up with was boyfriend number four and couldn’t handle sharing her, although all her relations know about one another; they just never meet.

*3 In a previous post I mentioned a Polish women who was the second women to humour me

Woah woah woah OP, how do you see this as a victory? Let's break this down.

- First you took way too long to make your approach, if you were in a club or a bar or a party that girl would have been gone by the time you walked over. It's ok that you were nervous, but you should at least used that time to come up with a game plan instead of walking in blind. Also, a girl giving you her name is not an IOI. Touching your leg, giving you her number, laughing at your jokes, those are IOIs. The way you write it looks like she was just breaking a very awkward situation.

- Second, you should have teased her when she asked you if you had read the Game. "No I never heard of it, what is it?" "This book for players..etc" "Oh really, so you think that just by sitting next to you I'm trying to play you? Wow, someone's cocky." <--- like that. Asking someone's opinion on something is no one's specific opener -_- .

- Third, and most important, you talked to her the whole ride and didn't try to number close? EVEN AFTER SHE WROTE A LIST OF BOOKS ON A PIECE OF PAPER FOR YOU. Seriously man, how is not shooing you away after that botched approach not a huge IOI to you, but giving out her name is? In boxing terms, you created an opening and you didn't take it. You asked why press for more, why not press for more? Just learning to approach is not what you got into this game for, so don't let yourself off the hook just because you took a baby step.

"Hey, can you add your number to the list too? You know, incase I need more coaching/advice." <--- Something like that.


I'm a musician, so I can tell you, this game is a lot like performing…just for an audience of one. Not to bust your balls, but you have got to be more critical. If you aren't going to have a coach, or a wingman, then it's up to you to be your own teacher. The best mentors don't let their students by with sub-par work.

It's cool that you approached and it has helped your confidence, OP, but I agree with Dinozzo925, you should've at least attempted to get her number. At that point, succeed or not, what do you have to lose?

It's good to be optimistic and concentrate on the good, but some times it's better to be critical of yourself.

Awesome feedback guys!!

kino kino kino
if you aren't going in for kino or trying to bounce the woman to another situation, then you aren't developing anything buy conversation.
did i mention kino?

That's crazy that she has read The Game. Which books were on the list that she wrote for you by the way? I'm intrigued. Sounds like this chick is more of a PUA than most guys on here. Lol.

I'm not sure where you are in your game development, but it sounds like you are pretty fresh. If that's the case, then what you did was totally fine. If I were your coach, I wouldn't even care that you didn't get the number. There's guys who just need to get comfortable making casual conversation with strangers before jumping into everything else. Julien from RSD talks about how he didn't even have the courage to ask passing strangers for the time and now he is an international pimp.

That being said, if your mission was to pick her up than yeah you did a pretty rookie job (which is okay). They call it a "game" for a reason. You have to initially treat it as such and not give a single fuck about what happens. You will most likely never even see her again, so you might as well attempt to get the number.

Anyway, keep up the good work and I'm looking forward to seeing you make more progress!

_________________
Game doesn't exist.

Get her number?! Are you guys retarded? She has 4 (FOUR, F-O-U-R) boyfriends, she's read "The Game", she know's the routines and openers, she even has more books about the matter, and you want to GAME her?!

Ok, let ME break it down to YOU. She was a player. She was running game. She's probably better than most of us at it, too.

How many guys would willingly share sloppy seconds with another dude he doesn't even know, let alone 3 more guys?

In my opinion, you set yourself an objective and you completed it. Whether you should push yourself harder of not, thats up to you and how you feel about it. I've always been a natural at the game, lost my virginity at the age of 14, I know women, but I got into the game to learn to MEET women, not game girls I know. Going out of my comfort zone is where I progress and I started by only approaching and keeping a friendly conversation.

Good on you mate. Dream big, think big, but start small.

_________________
People who say they can and people who say they can't are both usually right