You gotta be crazy to even speak to that woman again! wow!

How on earth can you let your girl friend sleep in bed with another man and still talk to her, are you nuts! You're going to seriously eat her story up !

Leave that hoe and erase her from your life!

Neo is up to something. USUALLY girls won't tell you that they're going to hang out with the guy she cheats with. Usually... However, one of my exes did the exact same. "I'm going to a concert with this guy". I already had programs sheduled with my mate for that evening so it was okay with me, and when I got home she was pissed drunk, and I could see on her face what she did. Few days later when we were discussing where this relationship is going she confessed to cheating.

So as unlikely as it is, it happens. And also, I'm going to have to say it over again. I don't think this is about cheating. This is about respecting the relationship. Which she does not do. And yes, this is OP's fault. At least 90% his fault.

"No man sleeps in my girl's bed"

You wanted to tell her this. And this should have been the only thing you tell her. "And no woman sleeps in my bed either" and all the other BS was completely unnecessary, and most of it was even counterproductive. And after you'd told her this, you should have discussed this matter with her personally, and seriously. Instead of this childish power-struggle over text messages. Which was a double fail, because you didn't retain any power, nor did you achieve anything else.

_________________
"Bros before hoes"

Relationship guide: extended-relationship-guide-vt170687.html

http://wayoftheplayer.com/become-a-player/instinct

She should be asking if we can talk, instead she is saying we need to talk. She curses and swears. I have no power in this relationship.

_________________
Age; 26
Use your knowledge and actions to be the best version of yourself you can be

I don't like this "power" thing when we're talking about relationships. Because relationships should not be like that. At least normally functionning relationships. It should be two independent people sharing affection, intimacy, and their values with each other. The man is leading, and the woman follows. This is not power. This is leadership. When it is "I have this much power and she has that much power" something is already bad.

_________________
"Bros before hoes"

Relationship guide: extended-relationship-guide-vt170687.html

http://wayoftheplayer.com/become-a-player/instinct

This I like.

Look if you want to get a great buzz out of cheating and that, great, but that's not for me. I like conventional LTR's. I think there is an appeal in sharing your reality with another human being.

OK how I started this one, before it got messy. I talked about how sexuality for men is an expression of masculinity. There is appeal in seducing the world, I see that and I understand it, but I choose the awesome mundanity of a relationship. If this is a serious relationship, no cheating, I want this to be serious (implying that I have been in casual relationships in the past) I don't fight with women, a relationship is a partnership and a holiday from all the shit. (I had already made it clear at this point that I was a strong business man, and very much capable of conflict) (Then I talked more about sex and sexuality, and negged her a little about her ex putting pictures of her on a porn site, showed her my beautiful ex's Facebook etc etc) When we had sex I dominated her.

Is the above approximately right?

I think a partner is more than just sexual attraction. I like intelligent women. Strong women. Little girls are no challenge. That is just me.

_________________
Age; 26
Use your knowledge and actions to be the best version of yourself you can be

The only way forwards now is to drop your guard, drop your ego, talk to her and be vulnerable. What if she never slept with him. Wouldn't that be a twist in the story? Before you fucking break up do the smart thing and talk to her in person. Stop fighting. Don't TELL HER to stop fighting. Actually do it. Both you and her have overreacted more than need be. Just fucking go to her and find out what happened. Drop this fucking ego act and do it kindly. If it really is all "part of the game" then you wouldn't be so upset. But you are. Admit it and accept it. You are hurt. Now that you know that accept that you are hurt and be nice to her and talk to her about it. If you are really not afraid of losing her then why be mad at her? A true "alpha" male does not care if the girl sleeps with someone else if you want to see it that way. But you are in an exclusive relationship. Now just drop it and do what has to be done calmly.

Seems like we share some values. I've had my shares of ONS and some were more appealing, than others, but most of them was not satisfying for me. I enjoyed the "thrill of the hunt", and I enjoyed connecting with a new person, and I enjoyed the sex. But for me, it's not even near as much a pleasure as sharing my life with someone who I deem worthy.

That said, I advice everyone to only start exclusive relationships when a rock solid inner game has been established. Not that relationship experience is not good for inner game training, but it's a lot slower, and can cause a lot more social/emotional struggle. In the long run, it's less effective.

We can't know whether your girl cheated or not. We really can't. Only she knows that. We, experienced people, see signs. Red flags accumulated. And more often than not, these are indicators of cheating. Your weak frame. among other noticable inner game issues, are also risk factors of cheating. That's why, many of us are nearly 100% convinced about that.

What we do know for sure however, is that this relationship is heading into a trainwreck. With or without cheating, that's a fact. And this is a result of a weak frame, and this text message misery instead of clearly and simply explaining your problem without beating around the bush so much, and then sitting down with her and talking about it seriously in person.

Personally, I'm done with giving advice on how to handle this situation because, as I've previously said, it is already too broken to do anything even remotely useful with it. I'm just trying to give you hints on what could have been done better for you to learn from it.

Peace,

In$tinct

_________________
"Bros before hoes"

Relationship guide: extended-relationship-guide-vt170687.html

http://wayoftheplayer.com/become-a-player/instinct

Despite my train wreck, we sat down and had a long talk about it, and it turns out she absolutely did not cheat. She's a good girl, or she loves me, or both.

What we have is a very deep connection, which has allowed her to remain attracted to me, I believe. I was able to see some things by the way she behaved, hiding in plain site, etc. From this she shared a lot about her childhood and ambitions, and then philosophy. Our world views are similar, as in she was looking for something and liked my PUA inspired take.

My inner game was very bad during childhood, good for a while after discovering PUA but disintegrated when I had my injury, I had undiagnosed depression, possibly still do. It was immediate. Now I am starting to convince myself that this is all in my head, i.e. that my reaction to my injury fucked up my inner game, not the injury itself. However, as I said, my inner game probably was not fixed overnight, it was probably a temporary pussy based high.

Last two posters, really agree with you both, particularly instinct, you seem to have a very interesting philosophy. I want to work on inner game, but I'm not leaving my girlfriend to do it. I would imagine it is easier because picking up girls can help inner game. Can you point me towards some literature or some things I can do to start improving?

It also bothers me that she cheated about a year or so ago, after we started to go out. Didn't bother me as much at the time. I didn't mention that, not wanting the abuse

Love

_________________
Age; 26
Use your knowledge and actions to be the best version of yourself you can be

Please tell me you're not this naive. If she cheated once, she's going to cheat twice. Probably she didn't cheat this time, but she will next time. Sooner or later. The way you deal with a cheating girlfriend is just walking away. No anger, no drama. Just walk away. I really don't want to write my story about this here, because I guess other forum members are getting quite fed up with it, because I bring it up on threads like this all the time. If you're interested, PM me.

Anyway, I'm not saying she can't love you if she cheated. I have a friend who loves his girlfriend more than anything. The girl's parents make his life miserable, and he went through so much shit because of this that it's literally getting to him physically. Yet he can't keep his dick in his pants and fucks around left and right all the time. But on the other hand, this will never change. What I'm saying is that cheaters are going to cheat. Especially since you once let her get away with it, now she knows she can do it.

If this is okay with you, then just keep up this relationship, but I don't think you fully understand your situation, your vision is narrowed down to this one girl, and how well you two get along.

Do you realise how many women are out there? Statistically it's close to impossible, no matter how well you connect, to not be able to find a woman with whom you connect even better. I know what you're thinking. "I don't want better, I'm satisfied with this one." And well, it's your choice. But you're young and a full life is awaiting you, and you want to drop that because of a girl who now apparently has little respect for you, and who cheated on you, all because of the single reason that you two have a deep connection, and because you don't realize how badly replacable this deep connection is.

Your choice, mate.

Peace,

In$tinct.

_________________
"Bros before hoes"

Relationship guide: extended-relationship-guide-vt170687.html

http://wayoftheplayer.com/become-a-player/instinct

She's lost respect for me over this. Yes she did cheat a year ago, but not this time (no debate, this is what happened, if you disagree don't comment I talked to the girl, if I'm wrong, it doesn't really matter). The fact is I believe she loves me. Now that doesn't mean my situation is a happy one. The problem is that in my mind, I am not capable of going out and cheating as easily as she did through my health problems. I could previously deal with her cheating, now I find it more difficult.

I am going to cool off with her, not end it, just cool off because
(a) I have lost a lot of value from this nonsense that my brain has essentially produced on it's own
(b) I'm not ready to give up on this just yet

In other words, she thinks I'm a child and has therefore lost attraction.

The only way I can change this is change something in my life that will increase my value and this will take time.

I escalated with another girl (somewhat contradictory but she's an old friend, not someone new). I don't know if this is a good idea or not. I need to make my life great, then take total control over it. I'm going to start by keeping a diary and going to the gym more and eating well.

I am hearing the message loud and clear; dump this girl and move on - it ain't going to work buddy.

Only I'm not ready to do that just yet.

_________________
Age; 26
Use your knowledge and actions to be the best version of yourself you can be

This is a hot mess, but it's also that horrible train wreck you just can't quite turn your head from.

While nobody can MAKE you dump her, they can only advise based on this giant assembly of very knowledgeable experienced men with proven track records.

You're blaming yourself for her cheating slutty ways, and find yourself wondering how anyone could ever do this to you, you need to take a step back and reassess the situation. Yes, you are to blame for her actions in the relationship, but so is SHE. She is a person, the same as you, and wields the same level of influence over the course of the relationship as you do. There's nothing to be gained by carrying the burden of the bullshit on your shoulders alone.

You must hold her accountable, or you'll never heal yourself.

But no matter how it went down, now you’re in trouble, and that’s all that matters.

Can you really forgive her? Are you sure it was only one or two men she was fucking?

Now think about this logically because that's how men tend to process this shit. Does this kind of thing raise Interest Level? Does this make Her like you more? Seriously do you think so?

Forgiveness seems like an honorable thing, IT IS.

But not when it's just given out of fear, the fear of losing pussy!

Your honesty and openness here is irrelevant.

She cheated!

You should have dumped her.

So after getting your head bashed in, you went off and considered your options. You don’t have any options here, Bro. The only option you have is “Adios, baby!”

Or trust me, she will do it to YOU!

But you need to arrive at that very conclusion on your own.

She’s not the problem.

The problem isn't that you’re talking her less or punishing her. You’re the problem here because you were too available and you put this girl on a pedestal and she got bored.

You don’t understand how to challenge.

You have no clue about the concept of Challenge, Bro.

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.

Most likely is trolling

Ok what is to be gained out of trolling. This is a very detailed troll and if you look at my previous posts on this forum it adds up, so I am not trolling.

Provided you accept that I'm not a troller, can you tell me how to challenge?

Your talking very pessimistically about me man. I am very willing to improve.

_________________
Age; 26
Use your knowledge and actions to be the best version of yourself you can be

No you're not. If you were so willing to improve then you'd dump this girl right away, go out, and start doing something productive with your life instead of agonizing in your own self pity. Screw your health condition. People get laid in wheel-chairs. Do you happen to know Nick Vujicic? Look him up. No arms, no legs, and has a wife and kids.

So what is your excuse again?
And when will you be ready? You have one life, mate, and every time you tell yourself "I'm not ready for this", you're more often than not just hiding in your comfort zone, and wasting precious time instead of heading for that improvement you say you're so up to.

_________________
"Bros before hoes"

Relationship guide: extended-relationship-guide-vt170687.html

http://wayoftheplayer.com/become-a-player/instinct

It's not pessimism, it's pointing out the facts. I am not going to apologize for being blunt.

You could look like Brad Pitt, have all of Donald Trump's money, and be the nicest guy on planet earth, if your no challenge, the interest level will drop off quickly, and she will wander.

You must be able to accept that her interest may have dropped below a repairable level, and be able to know that you can move on if necessary.

Create a challenge for her, don’t be too accessible, make yourself important in her eyes, give her a chance to miss you.

Be very unpredictable. If she can’t set her watch on your activities or know how you will react, then that’s good, that means you’re an exciting person that goes on impulses and your adventurous and brave. You will always keep your woman guessing which is good, because you will always be on her mind.

_________________
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs.