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I'll give you two exemples from back in the day. A few years back, when Gran Turismo 4 was released, there was a demonstration stand at my local department store with a playstation and LCD TV set up on a racing seat with one of those steering wheel and pedal kits. Manning the stand was a very, very, very hot strawberry blonde about my age. An absolute 10 and still to this day on the top 5 of the hottest girls I've seen. I sat down to try the game, did a lap on Nurburgring, got up and hanged around checking the other players. The girl came talk to me and stared making small talk, and I was like "O.K... She's doing her job. The other guys in the stand are ghetto kids and elementary school children, so if someone here will buy the game it will be me." I chatted with her for a bit and turned away. A few years later when I started reading into IOIs and body lenguage, well, I honestly felt the urge to punch myself in the stomach for being such a thick dumbass. She was so into me it was just ridiculous how I did not see it. Some time later, I was at a book store and a girl (also good looking and kinda cute in a nerdy way) was constantly checking me out. Again, that was a shot I missed due to insecurity and not reading the signs.
That being said, I also have a chronycal aversion to clubs. Between the loud (and of poor taste) music, the drunken guys acting out, someone spilling a drink on my tailor made suit and the obscene amount of time you spend waiting for it to pick up the pace (when clubs are "starting to get good" is about the time I am ready to leave), well, clubs are about the last place I want to be in. Bars are good, if you pick the right spot, other than that, lounges are also great. Kinda like a bar but more refined and civilized. It is also a more relaxing enviroment, wich somewhat lowers the bitch shield. Books, DVD and Videogame stores are great, too. You just have to know a bit about what you are talking to make an inersting, seemingly casual, conversation.
I was once at a bookstore and noticed a cute girl with a book about painting. Walked up to the same bookself, picked a book and "casually" peeked over her soulder. Luckily she was reading about a painting I was familierized with. I made a remark about that painting showing I know about that stuff and we started talking. Turns out she was a sudant of arts history who painted on her spare time. I said something in the lines of "I would like to see your work, do you have any pics on your phone" She said she had only a few but she had a page on deviantart.com. I gave her my phone and told her to save the link for it on my favourites. I checked out her paintings (not half bad, in fact) and followed the link to her facebook page. Sent her a friend request "We met at the bookstore and had an intersting discussion about Thomas Cole. Just checked out your page and I really like your work". She accepted my friend request, we chated some more and I mentioned "hey, have you seen the *artist* exhibit?" It was a temporary exhibit in a museum in our town. She hadn't, I invited her, she accepted, I timed it so that we would leave the museum around dinner time and said "Hey, it's getting late, wanna grab something to eat?" Then I "casually" picked a spot near the town's main square where a video mapping show was on. It was SPAM so this was also a temporary thing. I mentioned it, she was intersted, I held her close to me because it was cold and we were outside, so it was damn good kino right there, and we ended up in my place for the night. Great girl, great talk, a fun date with sex in the end and not a club in sight. Just to show you just have to play your cards right. You said it, you are a library guy and intelligence is hot. Work with that.
This.
The devil is in the details. Learn to be more detail-oriented especially with the nonverbals and you'll be good.
Follow Majikal's advice as well. You need to fix your vibe and Majikal's approach is one solid piece of golden elephant shit that you can take to the Federal Reserve Bank vault. Clean your fucking ass as squeaky clean as possible. Use a toothbrush to get some of those tomato seeds out.
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Approach. Open. Escalate. Isolate
Here are my two essential rules on texting that will save you tons of time and money:
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