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That was an interesting response. Perhaps the only thing i would have done differently would have been not to kiss her at the bar. So basically your telling me not to contact this girl ever again say onto the next one. SHe has already started to assume a dominant position and that shouldn't be tolerated. Part of me wants to contact her leave a message saying to hit me back but that could come off as submissive or maybe it could play in my favorite cus thats what she doesn't want.
Im leaning towards text her some shit and if she doesn't respond delete the number.
Ok, stop!
This is the moment where things all go wrong. Its you figuring out what you did wrong, trying to figure out what she is thinking and what you should do 'to win her back'.
I can totally understand the urge, but you are making it too complicated. Your game, as you described it, seems solid to me. This is something you should realize. Read that again. Realize you did nothing wrong. Going to say it one more time but in a different way: you kissed a hot babe on the dancefloor at the first real meetup. Your game is solid. Be confident that it is solid! This girls seems to be undermining the view you have on yourself and your skills by simple mind games (pull and push). And as we can read here, her mindgames really are having a profound effect. But actually the situation is quite simple: she either likes you or she doesnt. So how are we going to find out?
Well, instead of trying to get in her head and go over and over the interaction again to find a mistake that doesn't even exist, you should better get a grip on reality. Think back on the interaction purely objective (the key here really is objectiveness and honesty towards yourself): Did you at any point during the interaction have the feeling at that time, that something was not right? Perhaps it was a strange reaction of her? Probably not, because you kissed her. Did you force the kiss on her? probably not. Still, she freezes you out the day after. Dont you think that is a bit weird? She is doing things that are not in line with how she should react, in the context of her liking you.
When you think of that fact objectively, two things come in my mind.
1) she was pretending to like you for the entire interaction. Her goal was to see how far she could get with you for whatever reason. The reason doesn't even matter, she doesnt like you the way you like her.
2) she really is into you and she is trying to manipulate you by freezing you out. She hopes you get insecure and will desperately seek her attention and by doing that, you show her how much you care
The solution is actually quite simple: you do nothing. Get her out of your mind, meet up with other girls, do something you are passionate about, whetever.
Why?
well, if it is was the first reason, you got played. That is ok, everybody gets played sooner or later. Even the greatest pua and the legendary seducers got played, like Casanova. At least you got to kiss her
. You will probably never hear from her again. If you do, the interactions will most likely be you trying to set up a get together and her giving silly reasons to not meet up. If you leave her alone now, at least you took it as a man. Probably you also hope that she feels bad or that she realizes that you are 'on' to her, but lets be honest here, she wouldnt care in this particular scenario.
If it is the second reason and she really, really likes you, you will hear from her again. Maybe in a week, maybe in a month. Her tone will be different and all, she would be interested in you, how you are, what you are doing etc etc. She might even want to plan a hook up. In this situation, if it happens, you reciprocate the interest if you are still interested. And take it from there.
If it would happen again that a girl dazzles you with strange behaviour, then objectivety and honesty towards yourself is your greates ally. Doubt yourself when there is reason to doubt yourself, doubt other people when there is reason to doubt them.
Then there is one more thing i would like to say: Its about what women say. If you want an advice towards shit tests and people plain lying to you, consider this:
Is what they are saying congruent with what they do, are doing or did before? If not, they are trying to manipulate you. And in that case, i totally agree with what JackZero said. If you dont watch your steps then, they mindgame you into a miserable pile of wannabe pua.
Example: you guys dance and kiss on the dancefloor. After you kissed, she tells you that she hates public displays of affection? What a load of bullshit.... she is trying to manipulate you.
I hope it helped you clear your mind a bit. I think this is a tough situation and a lot of people struggle with it as they are desperately want to try to either win her back or they desperatly want to prove themselves that they truly are the pua they think they are.
Any way, its ok to be played like that. Its not ok to let it crumble your confidence or hurt your ego (which was not the case in your situation btw, just saying).
If you have more questions, please shoot!
CHAT
